Expensive Mattress too firm - any options

[hidinginthegarden]

This time last year I persuaded DH to invest in a reasonably expensive new mattress. We went to Dreams several times to test them out and eventually I picked the one I thought was best (with a gel topper as I'm menopausal). DH was pretty relaxed about it. Waited weeks to get it delivered and then when it arrived I was concerned that it was too firm.
However, weeks went past and despite my concerns I didn't want to rock the boat and deal with the stress of sending it back. I thought it would get better! It hasn't.
I've added a deep mattress topper which helps but I'm not sleeping well and the mattress is just driving me mad. I hate it. I have neck ache and feel stiff every morning!

We haven't finished paying it off yet but are well past the time period to change our minds. So I'm stuck with it.

Is there anything I can do to make it less firm? Any way I can recoup some of the £1500 cost? (I know I know but I thought it would last 15+ years like our last one). Is there any way to recycle it so it doesn't feel like such a waste?

Or do I just need to suck it up, put it down to experience and try again?

All you can do is play around with different toppers. Memory foam might be worth a try but it's warm to sleep on!

You could consider selling it on.

To be honest we’ve been in exactly the same boat. We waited around until a lightly used freebie came up on Facebook and tried that. There was no loss of it didn’t work, as we still had the old one.

Then we passed the old expensive one on. In the meantime we used multiple toppers to soften the bed. It was like the princess and the pea! I had a doubled up duvet on my side as well as the mattress toppers.

How is DH sleeping? Is he ok with it?

I want separate beds eventually. Are you already using separate duvets? I sleep so much better with a single duvet. Really reduces the impact of his restlessness!

I'd get a Devon Duvets wool topper. Adds softness and is great at temperature regulation.

It might be that now you have a different mattress you need to change your pillow.

My wonderful pillow is just not right now I have a better mattress, I hate the thought of having to try a few to get the right fit for my neck again.

@ThatsAnExcellentIdea is it good in the summer and winter?

I've got a loved heat genie one that good for the summer but it will be torture in the summer.

Try a wool pillow, we have Baavet ones, you can unzip the middle and add or remove wool to suit.
What I particularly love is if you find you are too hot, simply turn it over and it's massively cool.

Mattresses need breaking in, your sleeping experience will improve.
I would have suggested a deep mattress topper, or a dense duvet
underneath the bottom sheet too or even sleep on a duvet, like a nest.

Any reputable bed shop should advise that a new bed will always be firmer
than the one tried briefly in the store.

£1500 is a hefty layout of money for a mattress, for which you need to be comfortable of course.

If you had your previous mattress for 15 years no wonder you feel a difference

We have a firm orthopedic mattress but with a built in memory foam top. Then I have a huge padded cover on top. I'd prefer it a bit softer but DH fractured his spine in a car accident 9 years ago so has had to have a very firm orthopedic mattress ever since.

I agree - get a wool topper! I was in the same situation and a wool topper solved the problem. I love my bed again!
I got my from The Wool Room: thewoolroom.com

Thank you all. I got a John Lewis topper but will have a look at the wool ones. I'm just worried about possibly throwing more money to solve it when actually maybe I should just start again.
I'm a front sleeper so I will think about the wool pillow as that might be a good help too. Can anyone recommend one?
DH sleeps fine but with the old o no e had springs poking out and still slept fine.

It's always worse when I feel a bit poorly - and right now I'm full of cold so it feels like the end of the world!

Had the same problem and a panda topper solved it, my hip bones don't hurt on my side anymore