When do you get the time to clean with very small children?

[Narrowstreetsofcobblestone]

I have a 4 month old and a nearly 3 year old and struggling with housework. I generally manage to keep the kitchen looking decent and while the lounge is a struggle, especially a big clean with cleaning behind furniture and so on I do manage (open plan lounge, dining area and orangery.)

But the bathrooms … barely ever, in fact upstairs full stop rarely gets touched, probably because I’m not there much so can’t clean as children play / watch TV. I do have a couple of days with just me and baby and try to do it then but she’s so fussy and wants to be held and cries if I put her down! I’m also just about managing the laundry.

Is everyone finding it a similar struggle or just me??

It’s not just you at all.

some babies are easier to put down - for example in a bouncy chair - whilst you do something. But if you’ve got two at home, the urge to do something with the other child at that point usually competes with the bathroom cleaning and wins.

honestly the only time we got cleaning done is if one parent took the kid out and left the other to it.

It's really hard when you have a very small one. Definitely need to tag team with someone (partner?) One takes the children, the other does a quick blitz.

And honestly, just let standards slip a bit, it's not forever. As long as everything that needs to be is hygienic, I wouldn't worry about behind the sofa for a while.

If your budget allows, I really recommend using a cleaning service. We have someone come for 1.5 hours every 2 weeks, they are like a whirlwind, do all hoovering, dusting etc and that means when we get a small opportunity we can use it to tackle the bigger jobs that would otherwise be overlooked.

Thank you - it’s nice to know I’m not just a bit crap!

We have used cleaning services but just keep being let down. The last time we paid over £70 and the cleaners (there were two of them) did a very superficial job - the house was pretty dirty still, so it does make me wary.

I'd scrap cleaning behind the sofa in preference for a clean bathroom.

Might the 3 year old help if baby is asleep? Give them a cloth and water. I've got a very cute photo of a visiting 2 year old and DS1 on either side of our French windows "cleaning" the glass.....

@FallingAutumnLeaf shes yet to sleep anywhere not on me or a moving car seat, which is a bit of a pain but it’s not for much longer I know. I think DS was about 6 months when his lordship deigned to sleep in a cot in the day (fine at night!)

The problem with the bathroom is I’m not really in it IYSWIM. Whereas I am downstairs so I can clean that a bit. It’s an old cottage and dirt does accumulate in corners (and dead woodlice - lovely) so I try to make sure the floors are cleaned properly and not just superficially.

I’d persevere at trying to find a decent cleaner, took us a few tries but now we’ve the right fit it’s perfect, I just take the kids out for a few hours on a Friday whilst she’s here after a brief chat, and make sure she gets very nice birthday/Christmas gifts in hope I never loose her!

I remember this stage so well, I was exactly the same, we would sometimes stay up late one night cleaning just because it got to a point where it was worth being tired just to sort it, but thats not ideal - could you ask round anyone to hold/ entertain the baby for you for an hour/ couple of hours while you clean, or pay a babysitter to do it, it may be more effective that way round than paying a cleaner?

I used to do the cleaning in small increments e.g. difficult to manage the whole bathroom at once, but I would just clean the sink, or the loo, and then do something else later or the next day. It's difficult to keep a house immaculate but if you keep doing small jobs whenever you can then you can stop things getting out of control. Also, get your partner to help!

I completely sympathise, I have a 3.5 yo and a 1 month old. I manage to keep on top of hoovering and laundry but any more detailed cleaning has really lapsed. the bathroom mainly as dust seems to build up so quick, and it really shows as the bathroom is all white.

Don't really have any tips, but wanted to reply you're not alone!!

I'm seriously considering a cleaner when I go back to work!

I used to clean one area of the bathroom after I’d used it, for example I might have a quick wipe of the sink with spray and a cloth after washing my hands or cleaning my teeth. I always cleaned the toilet after using it before I went to bed. The bath was cleaned after my children used it, I’d wrap older ones in a towel and cuddle baby while wiping round the bath with one hand!

I kept a basket of cleaning things in the bathroom, out of reach of the children, so everything was to hand. I had three pre school children with just one bathroom so it had to be kept clean.

Other cleaning jobs were also done at odd moments, often late at night after the children were in bed. I was lucky though in that my children were all very good sleepers and did not need much soothing before going in the cot. From day 1, they always slept in a carry cot or cot, mainly upstairs in the bedroom which left me with quite decent intervals to clean, cook or often have a doze on the settee!

Thanks. I could look into getting a cleaner but I’m reluctant after two bad experiences - it does make you feel a bit taken advantage of!

cleaned the lounge this morning before DH and DS woke and DS has already spilled yoghurt - grr! I’ll have a clean house one day and then I’ll probably miss the chaos!

Single parent here. This is the trick. Also decluttering.

Could you pop your daughter in a stretchy sling? My daughter is/was a clingfilm baby and this was the only way I got anything done.

I find The Organised Mum Method podcast cleans (about half an hour each) are really good for keeping on top of the house. It’s not perfect but it’s good enough.

Same here. I do the sink quickly when I am going to the loo and shove loo cleaner as well. Spray the shower and take a sponge in when I get in myself. And get the corners quickly when I notice! I leave cleaning stuff out of kids reach in the bathroom so I can just do it quickly and it's not a major job - different bits on different days.
But we also have a cleaner that does main bits of the floors etc so I just have to do the extra bits (corners, dust etc) when I notice and have a spare hand and literally 2mins to do a tiny bit. Incrementally it helps and is easier than trying to do 'a clean'
Also - standards can drop! When you have young kids it's pretty impossible for everything to be clean if you're managing it as a couple x

We've just done a big declutter and reorganise of stuff which has really helped, but I agree, it always seems to be the bathrooms that are the hardest to keep on top of (it doesn't help that it's the worst job to do as well). I only have 1 child atm but work full time and am pregnant with number 2 so will have a similar age gap to you OP.

Does your 3 year old go to nursery or any form of childcare at all? If so I would try and get the cleaning done when he's there and your little one is napping.

Do you have a partner? Tag team. He takes them to the park for an hour leaving you home alone. Or, he gets them ready for bed upstairs whilst you're tidying downstairs (or reverse the roles).

I am probably late to the adulting party but I realised in the last month there is a difference between:
-cleaning
-tidying
-decluttering/sorting.

I used to try to do all 3 at the same time.

We do have a cleaner for 2 hours a week. If we didn't I would spend an evening (once the toddler was in bed) doing each of the above.

I spend 2 hours a week just tidying and putting laundry away as well as the daily reset of toys!

I clean the bathroom every day after I’ve had a shower!
bedrooms are cleaned every morning after getting out of bed
downstairs is cleaned every day too, kitchen is cleaned every time I’ve used it
I tidy as I go
laundry is done every day and it’s just a case of putting it in the machine and letting the machine do the work

There's a lot of 'I' in that op, does your partner clean?

We have a cleaner for an hour a week. A robot hoover I send around in the week too. Bathrooms I sometimes do on the hoof, eg clean sink while DC are taking an age to have a poo, or do toilet while they're in the bath (yours are too young to look away that long!)

A slightly mucky house is good for the immune system!

No, it's really hard at that age. IME 4 months is a really tricky age, they are very grizzly and want holding a lot. You often get snippets of about 2-10 (maybe 20??) mins in which to do anything at all, including preparing food for everyone, going to the toilet, paying attention to your toddler, sitting in peace with a cup of tea etc.

What has helped me is having a sort of "layers of cleaning hierarchy" - I used to have this as Kitchen > Bathrooms > Living room > Hallways > Bedrooms. But even that was a bit too in depth and I would always feel like everything was chaotic.

What I have now is this idea:

Dishes > Bins > Kitchen floor (JUST clutter) > Laundry > Kitchen sides wipe down > Bathroom floor (JUST clutter) > General tidy (toys etc) + hoover > Anything else that looks visibly dirty (bedding change, bathroom sink/toilet, floor mop, etc)

What that means is that on any given day is that the further forward on the left something is, it's more important that it happens. If the dishes get done and literally nothing else does, that's absolutely fine. Most days I get about up to the bathroom floor, on a good day I get further, some days I literally load half the dishwasher and that's it (and that's FINE.)

When DH gets home from work he generally does dishes/kitchen counters and just before the DC go to bed he leads a "tidy up dance party" (more energy than me!!) unless they are totally exhausted, and then whoever is not doing bed/bath will tidy or finish up tidying the front room and then we have one of those robot vacuums that we run after they have gone to bed. I can also chuck this in the kitchen during the day which is why just taking "stuff" off the kitchen floor is the priority. Reduce toys down to a manageable level too and store with like things - so all farm animals together, all play food together, all toy cars together. Makes it easier to tidy up and easier for them to get the one specific thing they want out, not dump every box out looking for one thing. Some people do toy rotations - I can't be bothered with this, but I do weed out old/outgrown/broken/incomplete toys quite regularly.

Disclaimer I do have a handy teenager to take down the bins as otherwise this would be a particular sticking point, as we live in a flat. When I lived in the house, it was a bit easier as I could just open the back door and reach the outside bin from there. If I did not have the teenager this would also be DH's job as soon as he arrived home before he took his shoes off - because it's a huge pain to do this with a baby and toddler.

All this in practice means that the bathroom gets cleaned less than it should, but I just don't worry that much about it.

So if I get a moment in the day I will empty/fill the dishwasher, bring plates from other parts of the house, scrape food into bin, however much of this I can get done in the 2 mins that I have or whatever. Then once that's done, check bins for any that are more than about 80% full and empty, then check for what laundry needs moving over, putting away, starting etc.

Dishes are the most important because they clog everything else up if they get left behind, the left out food smells and is dangerous (breeding bacteria etc) as well as making it hard to complete basic tasks like making food. Having a dishwasher makes a massive difference because it means that you can just do 5 mins at a time whereas having to hand wash means running water and then doing as much as you can before the water goes cold, which is a pain.

It can be tricky to empty the dishwasher with a 2yo but at nearly 3 perhaps you can give her jobs - pass her all the plastic stuff, a cloth to dry them off, and a basket to put them in, then transfer the basket to a counter/cupboard when she's done (lots of praise). Hand her the cutlery basket, with knives removed, and let her put them away in the drawer standing on a chair. If you have one of those newer dishwashers with the cutlery tray thing, see if you can buy a basket for it for now just for this purpose.

Bins similar - if they're full it prevents things from being thrown away so all the mess starts to expand extremely rapidly.

We bought a tumble dryer. I was spending so much time on hanging hundreds of tiny items up and this has saved my sanity and freed up so much time.

Also, partially done laundry is ALWAYS in a laundry basket. This prevents it from spreading around and getting mixed up with dirty stuff and then you have to wash it again because you can't tell what's what. Having every task being interruptible is key with DC of this age.

Will your nearly 3yo start preschool in January? That will help a bit although you'll have a 6mo then However IME it's sooooooo much easier once they can sit up, as it means that you can plonk them next to you for 10 mins or so while you do a job. Hand them a clean saucepan and wooden spoon from dishwasher while you empty it, taking sharp/breakable things out first. Hand them a basket of unpaired socks while you sort laundry. Let them play with dryer balls. Get them to "help" you put things into/out of the machines, let them put the tablet or washing liquid in (very well supervised). Move them to each room as you put the clothes away etc.

If I had to rate household appliances for essentialness when DC are little:

Washing machine
Microwave
Dishwasher
Some kind of quick hoover (hand held or robot)
Tumble dryer

I've considered hiring a cleaner to do bathrooms, floors and beds. But not in the budget right now.

Just don’t tbh. Especially when my kids were that age.

Quick bleach/disinfect round the toilet once a week and you’re golden. Do it when you’re getting out the shower. You can get those blue cleaner blocks that go in the cistern to keep it fresh the rest of the week.

If your partner is fussed about a sparkling bath or sink, they can do it. Or they can sort a cleaner.

I was the same as @SoftSheen when mine were babies/toddlers. Broke it down into tiny tasks. So I never cleaned the bathroom in one go but I’d do sink at some point, loo at another, shower when I was in it etc. I’d also change a nappy and then get an extra wet wipe and wipe a surface or bit of skirting or a handprint off the wall… It was amazing to me how much I could actually get done this way! I could vacuum the main floors ok with baby in a sling but the stairs and when I needed to move furniture was harder

When my 3 were little I followed Flylady and the house had never been cleaner (before or since!).
I really should get back on it - mine are all adults now and the house is still a mess 🤷‍♀️.

I did little by little. One thing I found useful was when the kids were in the bath I'd clean the rest of the bathroom. Then when they got out of the bath I'd quickly clean the bath. That way, the whole bathroom got done while they were happily amused in the bath.