What is this spider? TW: spider picture

[Gumbo]

There's a large creature lurking on the outside (thankfully) of my bedroom window. It's really hairy! What is it? Do I need to torch the house?

You're not a Woodlouse and you're indoors, so I think you might just survive Bessie's little trip past the window.

I wouldn't mind at all if it was just strolling by, but it's been there all day and has setup camp! It's the top floor of a 3 storey house, so it's not nosing around in the garden either... I think it's planning on breaking in and moving its big brothers in too!

You could encourage her to relocate with something that won't hurt her, like a feather duster - but you would need to let go of the duster quite quickly...

She's waiting for the boys to come to her yard, after all.

Leave it alone. It's not in the house.

That might work...although it might launch through the window as soon as I open it, with a suitcase in each hand😧
Is it definitely a girl spider?

It's not the clearest photo, but, yes, she's got the long, elegant legs that the males don't have (they're markedly smaller as well).

I'd leave her be if I were you. She's magnificent and doing absolutely no harm to anything over the size of your little finger nail. Except for the boys. She's tough on those.

No, and I intend to keep it that way!

Just wondered what spider it is, it looks quite reddish rather than the normal brown ones I normally see.

It will be one of the garden spiders. An Orb Web of some kind. They usually have a whitish cross on their back.

Woodlouse spider. Nothing else wants to have a go at the things because they're armoured and not very tasty (although Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall reckons they taste like prawns when cooked - same family, apparently). But they've evolved to be able to get through the armour to take advantage of an abundant species/food source that nobody else wants.

Wow, I've just googled woodlouse spiders... I definitely need to keep it outside! Painful bites aren't my thing, that window will be staying firmly shut!

It's not a woodlouse spider - they don't spin webs - as thir name suggests they run around in the floor hunting other bugs.
It's definitely a 'common or garden' Garden Spider. Which can also nip painfully, but you have to harass them a lot to make them. You should be quite safe, they rarely come indoors.

Garden spiders are fine @Saisong , the woodlouse spider was sounding quite alarming!

The spiders are huge and are everywhere at the moment aren't they!! 😩😭 I invested in peppermint spray which I've gone round all the doors and window frames with to deter them from coming in.
But in the garden and in the hedge I've seen some mahoosive garden spiders recently. I'm scared to walk up the garden to get the washing in, esp when it's getting dark!

Agree it isn’t a Woodlouse Spider.
It is an unusual colour, but it looks like a Garden Spider. They tend to just set up camp and stay there, they don’t wander about. I had one live in my window for two or three years. She got thinner through the Winter, then fatter again in Summer.

I don't want it living in my window for several years 😮! I'm sure we'd both be happier if it was a couple of floors down...

I got v fond of mine, I even named her. Then one day she/he started walking about, obviously looking for a new place or a mate, so then I relocated her to the garden.

Definitely an adult male. You can see the expanded palps (boxing gloves) which males use for mating.

Also, males usually have relatively longer legs than females but smaller bodies.

@Gumbo He'll be looking for females to mate with now. Won't live more than another few weeks. It does look like a Garden Spider, Woodlouse Spiders are totally different.

My dd thinks I've lost the plot because I've named all my house spiders and said we have an understanding,

They leave me alone
I leave them alone

So far they appear to have signed the contract

Well I'm happy to report that he appears to have made the long absail down to the ground to find a garden where presumably he's supposed to be, no doubt to go and harass the girl spiders instead of me.

Thanks for the input, I hadn't seen a large red garden spider before (and to be honest, I hadn't wanted to either...)

To catch spiders I cover them with a class, have a piece of cardboard ready, then slide it under so it’s like a lid. Then hold palm over cardboard until I can release down the bottom of the garden. Is just in case anyone doesn’t know the quickest way to catch them. They scuttle off, happy out.