Untidy house, overwhelm, please help!

[foodaddict21]

I am certain I won't be the only one here struggling with this.

I have 3 kids, a DH and work full time. My house is, mostly, a mess of clutter, half finished jobs. Every room bar the bathroom (which is lovely) needs a mega de clutter.

I suspect, having recently had a DC diagnosed, that I have ( or have many traits of) ADHD. The anxiety & overwhelm at the thought of how much needs doing is just, well, utterly overwhelming.

I have a cleaver once a week for 2 hours, and I love the day she's been, but still it's the corner of the rooms, the dining table mountain, kids clutter. Has anyone been here & gotten sorted? I don't want to live like this anymore! I feel so amazing & relaxed when a room is organised, clear & tidy.

I am in the same boat as you and totally sympathise! I did have some success with the organised mum method, but I am waiting for the kids to be back at school before I start that up again. Am also interested to hear other's suggestions at ways to keep on top of things!

I sometimes set a timer for say 20 minutes and decide to clear as much as possible in the living room, and then once the timer goes off I feel motivated by how much you can achieve in a short space of time......this encourages me to do more.....

I use boxes, medium size packing boxes. One at a time and I fill it with stuff to give away. Another as stuff to sell, another to go to the tip and so on. If it’s not been used in a year it goes.
Start small. One corner or one cupboard at a time.

It's about the stuff. Start with the living room and take everything out that you don't want in there. Then deal with the pile of stuff. You have to be ruthless!

Agree with @AbbeyGailsParty - start small - one space at a time. If you think about it all, it is overwhelming. If you say “Today I’m going to do the dining room table” then it’s completely do-able, and it doesn’t feel overwhelming. Good luck!

Honestly your house a lot better than ours. Also 3 DC here, and my husband is very untidy and doesn't really do a lot of housework. It's pretty soul destroying.

This week I got totally fed up and decluttered the playroom which took a whole day. I was pretty ruthless at getting rid of anything broken/missing a part/not played with recently etc. I didn't get through it all and there are still two boxes of 'assorted toys' aka junk but it is a lot better.

I did the kitchen the following day. I put all the stuff from around the edges into the middle of the table and just worked my way through it. There's one box for assorted wires etc, everything else found a home or got recycled etc.

Both of those rooms took an entire day, while the 2 older kids were at school. I'm working the rest of the week so that's it for the moment. It was satisfying though.

Honestly much of my issue is my DH but he doesn't see it that way...

I am you @foodaddict21 . The only way I can do it is to tackle a tiny space, or gather like objects together.
If somewhere is tidy, it stays tidy, but if it becomes a jumble, all I see is so overwhelming I get depressed and can't tackle it.

Music, timer, bin/recycle

I'm the same op. I've learnt to just get rid of stuff. It's the only way.

You have too much stuff. Honestly, if our house gets untidy, it's because we have too much. You don't need it all. Be ruthless. I use Marie kondo. We've got an empty double-garage. Don't wait a year to get rid of stuff you havent used, just do it. I never regret getting rid of stuff. I do hate having too much. If you're overwhelmed start immediately. Just go for it. Don't agonise.

start somewhere super easy, like a shelf in the bathroom. Set a 5 minute (or even 2 minute) timer and clean just that area, disposing of anything you can bear to get rid of and wiping down. If you break it down into manageable chunks like that, starting with the easiest, it tends to give you impetus to go on. Even just 1 minute bursts are good enough to trick your subconscious into feeling like you can manage it.

also I would stress the importance of decluttering. you have to make it a daily part of life. The reason people have clean and tidy homes is they are ruthless about getting rid of stuff and make it a daily task even just a very small part of your day. It's especially important when you have small kids. I tend to have regular declutter for a couple of weeks or months per year then once I am done I set a calendar reminder to get rid of just one thing every week day. You will also need to get said items out of your house, not sitting round in bags waiting for the charity shop. I try to combine a weekly bag to the charity shop with the school run on a friday, for example.

The Organised Mum Method is full of great principles -
Massive declutter
Place for everything
Rethink your sytems
Focus on single areas at a time
Daily habits
Timer

Get a good friend to help you blitz the first room. They will motivate you and hold you to account if you start to slip!

If you have a driveway, get a skip. Then get utterly ruthless. Throw out anything and everything that isn't either (a) essential or (b) something you love.

Remember that when you fill a skip, it will all be sorted when it's taken away so nothing is wasted.

One of my rules was - if I was moving house, would I want to take this with me? If the answer was NO then it went in the skip.

I love a big declutter...but it takes a lot of time and energy.

Another way is to tackle one drawer or clutter pile for 10 mins.

Pull everything out onto a tray so you are only dealing with as much as will fit on the tray. Take it somewhere else...like the kitchen table or even your bed and sort into rubbish, filing, donating, putting away. This may then give you a few smaller piles to deal with but they can stay on the tray. Keep going till the tray is empty.

When you feel overwhelmed look at the one clear corner or tidy drawer or one single shelf that is tidy and that will give you a boost.

I used to be like you.

Honestly, becoming a minimalist changed my life.
I watched many YT videos and just started and never looked back.

@foodaddict21 Where are you based? I give introductions to decluttering at Maggies at RoyalFree every month! You could join if it helps 😘

I use little tips and tricks from lots of different places, so a bit of unfuck your habitat (I like the resets - you clear an area, then it only takes 5 minutes to clear it again ) and a bit of Marie Kondo, (I like thanking things that have been useful) therapy things (why am I hanging on to this thing)
all sorts of bits and pieces

I do still live in a super messy house though but it is getting better slowly.