Decluttering Thread 5 - Slowly Does It

[Pigtailsandall]

We filled the previous thread quickly! I'm still in the middle of my annual leave and working through my old sentimental items so I need to keep the momentum going! It's taking ages.

@incessantnamechanger
@EllieQ
@nordicmum
@IndianSummer78
@Realfastfoodie
@nordicmom
@CornedBeef451
@thingshavegottogo

@stealthninjamum
@pissedoffneighbour22

Sorry for anyone I missed! Hope you find us!

So far this morning I've read one instructions leaflet, decided I don't need to keep it so it's being recycled. Total is 1024

Feeling bogged down with decluttering now. Once all the easy things are done it's such a slow process. Can't believe I've decluttered over a thousand things in around half a year and it's made no visible dent. Things look tidier and aren't spilling out everywhere, so it is better, but I expected to have clear uncluttered areas by now

At least my mindset has shifted, I keep having thoughts of getting a skip and going totally minimalist overnight. That's the kind of thought that would have brought me out into a cold sweat a year ago.

Shocked at how much I get rid of is essentially junk that I should have dealt with at the time instead of keeping it just in case. Whenever I include leaflets, packaging, empty boxes etc it's because they have been hanging around a long time labelled as potentially useful. I went into this at the start of the year thinking I'd struggle to get rid of one thing per day. Now I look around the home and think we could get rid of 3/4 of this and life would carry on as normal.

I've totally stopped buying blankets, shoes, towels, crockery, kitchen appliances and cleaning products. We have enough. The cute stuff stays on the shop shelves now. Still got to crack books, magazines, clothes and craft supplies

4 more hair lips that are just too small to be of any real use. Total is 1028

Hair *clips

Had another go this afternoon and got

Combats
Jeans
Shorts
2 blouses
Magazine

Total is 1030

Oops can't count, total is 1034

2 books donated today and a pair of ropey knickers chucked away.

Got another box of paperwork to go through this evening.

Wow, lots of progress everyone!

Just sold a really nice kids’ jacket that wasn’t getting enough use to justify keeping it. I’m counting it as a win.

@IndianSummer78 - you are totally right… the trick to this working sustainably is to avoid “ins” as much as possible… dealing with things as soon as they arrive, don’t keep the old one for spares, just don’t buy unless you really really need it! Am really having to fight the nesting instinct though..!

RealFastFoodie I'm a shopaholic so the struggle is real. I had to fight the urge to keep my old bathroom scales for spare because it goes against everything in my less well off past to get rid of something that's totally fine. I had to keep reminding myself that if I can't read the display, it's of no earthly use to me whatsoever, that's why I got a digital one

One last thing for today. A beach towel that leaves lint on me whenever I use it. I rarely go to the beach so if I really need a towel I can use a regular bath towel, of which there are plenty. Total is 1035

We was 15kg over our baggage allowance coming back from holiday! How? I think it was because our swimming things was wet. Should have thrown out that old bra! 😁 we asked to put 10kg in hand luggage as it was €160 but I would have been OK binning things rather than pay that. Fortunately we wasn't charged and it went into the hand luggage ok.

It's really sobering to see what you need for two weeks. I only really needed what I had that case. If I applied that to my wardrobe...

Even then we came back with clean clothes!

In other good news the Vinted seller has put the price up on her MK bag so I won't risk it at the higher price being a good fake.

I can really understand the problem if you are a shopaholic @IndianSummer78. So hard to limit the “ins”… hopefully all the decluttering helps with motivation though!

I think being a shopping addict is a bit part of my issue and really it's taken years of cnt like thinking until its gets to work. Acquiring and resistance to get rid is a key part of hoarding. What I do to itch my shopping craving is have a short burst of favoritism things on Vinted, or adding things to baskets that I never check out. It works quite well. Also looking again and again at how much clothes we have it reinforces that we will never ever wear them all. However it does make me sad that I can't access that high now. It was a good to comfort source. I'm hoping one day once the house is tidy that can be my new satisfaction. But right now the house is still untidy and I can't get my shopping high either. So then you feel sad and the desire to buy goes up. But it's always easy to get past it. These feelings for me are short lived.

At a hoarding support group years ago someone said she regretting things bitterly she threw out decades ago. Luckily I just get immense regret that's gone in 24 hours. There only two things I regret getting rid of in thousands of items.

Realistically everything I need I can buy again. The only really irreplaceable items I have right now are my mums rings. Even my car I could replace. A tidy house for my kids I can't get back

To be honest @IncessantNameChanger - in my opinion it’s not even a tidy house for our kids that we are aiming for… it’s a more comfortable, calmer and happier way of living. We are the only people who can give our children a less stressed mum with time to play with them rather than getting anxious trying to cope with the mess. That’s what I’m telling myself

I think my kids was OK with the clutter and mess until they hit secondary school age. My 19 year old told me this year he feels the house is toxic because of the mess. But I am hoarding level mess. Clear floors, clean, no rubbish kept, no out of date items etc but just too much of everything. It was very painful to hear him stay that. For me it's that I can hardly ever find the things I need level clutter. You couldn't grab armful of stuff in 30 minutes if a visitor dropped by. It's just tipped from clutter to a hoard maybe when I had my third child 11 years ago.

I am unpacking and decluttering AGAIN on the realisation that the summer looks pretty done. My youngest two have enough summer clothes in the wash from holiday.

29 things out today for clothes recycling bin. I have lots I could donate or sell but I feel myself procrastinating so I'm going to stop now knowing all the holiday washing will fit easily away.

I swear to god vlothes breed in my house. I still feel positive, my dd room looks lovely still. But I'm back to feeling sad and disappointed in myself.

Don’t be disappointed in yourself @IncessantNameChanger, you are doing a great job. We can see the progress you have made already!

Incessant you're doing really well if you're a hoarder. Your after pics looked amazing. It's taxing on the brain though figuring out what to keep and what not to. Emotional too, if you're a hoarder? Don't beat yourself up for not doing it all in a day. Could DS help you with the decluttering or can you not give that control over to someone else? I'm just wondering if there's any specific areas of the house or categories of items where you could let him decide what stays/goes and leave him to get on with it. He'd be up for helping by the sounds of it

I know exactly what he means about the place feeling toxic. I'm not a hoarder but I have so much stuff in a smallish space that's how I've started to feel, like it's getting a bit toxic

I don't crave shopping for a high but if I see things I like I'm not much good at denying myself, then I keep the old thing "because it's not worn out/used up yet" or "just in case". It's a consequence of growing up with next to nothing, everything had to be saved for, so nothing was easily replaceable and there was never money for treats. I'm finding it hard to shake off that mindset even though it's not my situation any more

I've come to realise there's always going to be something I like and I'm going to be able to afford it. Not like in the past where if something was available and there was money for it it was best to buy it right away, because next week either the item or the money might not be there

I've got two choices really. Either I stop shopping altogether for about ten years whilst we use up all the surplus or I accept there's going to be a certain amount of shopping but that means I need to declutter the unnecessary, disliked and imperfect

I can't choose the third option of living in a hoard because apart from the fact I don't want to, where does it stop? When I've run out of money for storage units? And what's the point of hoarding stuff I can't use because I can't easily get to it? So, if I'm not going to turn into an accidental hoarder, I need to declutter

Today I didn't have much time for decluttering but I've decided to donate the cot mobile to a charity shop. Total is 1036

@IndianSummer78 I could ask ds if he wants to sort a area with me but I'd find that incredibly stressful as he would throw everything out. His room is also a big mess of his own doing. I periodically sort his room out for him. Maybe we could work together.

I have the professional declutterer from the adult MH team seeing me currently but I'm not sure what our goal is. 3 visits and nothing done yet. I know what I need, like today, I sorted a bag to donate, get mentally burnt out and it's sitting in dd room. Ideally someone would gently move me on when I get stuck. I can now sort vast areas but then I don't make the final step and get it out the house the same day.

I also know I buy new things if it fits with my rules, so five or ten out for one in until that category is under control.

19 items to the local baby charity who put out an appeal out for the exact things I had sitting in my to go pile.

Two more sales on Vinted and two more things listed.

975 items out year to date.

By the end of August I want to have sorted out the clothes stored under my bed and my goal is 100 outs for August. More if i can!

My parents were (are) proper hoarders and it wasn't until I left home that I understood others don't live that way. So good work incessantnamechanger in recognising and tackling the issue.

Well done @Jellycatrabbit, it’s so satisfying when you know things are going to a good home isn’t it? I love giving to the baby bank, and actually take a lot of pleasure in making sure it’s all nicely washed and folded and I’ve removed anything that’s in less good condition to put into the clothes recycling.

My folks aren’t hoarders in the normal sense, their house isn’t overfull, they don’t buy too much, but they don’t get rid of stuff even when it’s broken. I find it difficult to let go of things that might be useful, and it really means you can’t find anything when you need it.

I'm going to be brave today and give all of yesterday's sorted items to the clothes bank. I toyed with keeping it to sell next summer on Vinted, but I need to create room to store that. I'm not at that stage yet. Ideally I'd get the summer bits out from storage in April and sell anything to small then. But for the few quid I'd get for them, I need that 8 moths of space more. I still have so much to clear before I get to that stage.

That’s amazing @IncessantNameChanger - think of it as “buying” yourself space maybe? Totally agree that unless the money is needed more than the space, getting them out of the door is a great plan.

I went on a mad spree sorting my cleaning cupboard out last night and have grabbed a whole load of books, which has given me back a whole big shelf. Not sure which of these I’ve already posted, but this is my running total…

6 kitchen cupboard junk
1 jacket sold on FB
32 books to charity
9 cleaning cupboard clear-out

63 total for august
905 total

One thing sorted today thankfully ; my bedroom aircon is working again . Turns out it wasn’t broken this time like last summer when the pump went but just full of dust that had blocked a drainage pipe . They told us to vacuum it every few months from now on then it’ll hopefully be ok with the yearly service . Other units will have to be serviced another date though and the ventilation by the same people too but just glad this is now operational .
I folded all the clean laundry for the first time since before our trip and the amount of it was crazy so it took me most of the last night .
Some outs from laundry , DD room and DS looking through his .
Have asked DH to take pictures and to list his piece of sporting equipment now that it’s a good weather . He then still has 2 boats and camera stuff left to sell plus my few designer clothes, bags and shoes we’ll need to do at some point so I’m keen to get on.
Still feel like I’m drowning in jobs and now ones related to DS impending leaving for Uni end of September too. Have started preparing but need to wait for next week’s results day to find out where he’ll go . I’m getting more nervous now .
Gardener is due tomorrow , it’s looking good with the recent rain . Window cleaner on Friday .
Our dog has been on and off funny about his paw so that might mean a trip to the vet .

Out:
-3 kids unused travel games
-1 driving test theory book
-1 driving test theory flash cards
-2 half used sticky notes pads
-empty headphones box with spare earpieces
-3 DD magazines
-1 empty Lego box from DD room
-1 notepad from a magazine , she’s got tens so not keeping it
-2 DD books
-20 or so DS magazines earmarked to go once he’s finished leafing through them
-1 foot gel I sampled that seemed quite useless
-1 DD party bag nail polish she’s tried but now it’s going
-1 pair of DD small sweatpants
-1 pair of DD small leggings
-1 pair of DS old trousers with a hole
-1 pair DS shorts
-2 pairs of DS old pyjama bottoms
-4 DS old T-Shirts
-2 DH T-shirts
-1 pair of DD old trainers
-1 pairs of DS small swimming trunks
-5 pairs of pants
-34 pairs of socks

@IncessantNameChanger that sounds so tough. I have parents who have a big house and tend to not deal with clutter, and I've inherited their laziness. I am at a good stage now but it took me a long time to get there. But suddenly I started seeing a difference and it happened almost overnight. I recommend focusing on one area so you really see the difference it makes. I remember playing a decluttering game with my friends and literally got rid of almost 400 items from our tiny bathroom. I was so shocked. But in the end it looked so streamlined and was so easy to clean (big plus for me) that it spurred me on for more

Well done @Realfastfoodie particularly for the book declutter. I find books v hard to declutter. But they are so big that it often makes a quick and visible difference. I got rid of about 10 recently and it definitely made a dent.

This week's stuff out so far:
Another storage box (!)
2 cleaning products I didn't like
3 kids coats to a friend
A ribbon I was saving
CD
Unidentified plastic object
Pile of paper relating to a hospital appointment
Bath mat

Total is 1380

I find books difficult too @Pigtailsandall, we have shelves and shelves of them. It’s how I was brought up. In some ways, a book on a shelf can never be clutter - it is both beautiful and useful. But I just realised there were a few things I had no interest in reading / reading again and they were taking up space. Agree it feels rather brilliant to have taken a bit of shelf-space back!

And that’s a nice range of objects you have in your list! Lots of wins. I can see decluttering becoming almost a way of living when you get to your stage. Managing the “ins” has to be the most important for me though, and probably most people!

That's encouraging about the sudden overnight difference pigtails. I'm still awaiting that stage!

Yes realfastfoodie I'm beginning to see that decluttering is never really going to end. If I can get to a maintenance level where I can go through the entire place in a week each season to reset it back to streamlined, I'll be happy. I'm a long way off that though

I hope you're feeling better today about your progress incessant. You really are doing so well despite the hoarding

Last night I read and recycled a leaflet, the local newspaper and a catalogue

Today I planted out a plant I'd grown from seed and binned the small pot it was in. Couldn't recycle the pot because I couldn't tell what it was made of.
Used an empty box to organise some craft supplies, which enabled me to bin the ten individual cardboard boxes the supplies were in. They'd been sitting around in a messy pile for ages so this has made a noticeable difference to the craft area.
Went through a pile of clothes and got rid of a top, a blouse, a pair of joggers and a pair of shorts. All too small and all brand new. Oops.

Total is 1054

Yeah with books I have a policy that they need to fit into our existing shelves comfortably. It's not always quite so, so every now and again we look through them. I think nicely arranged they look lovely, but I'm trying to steer away from the dishevelled academic look (which in truth is exactly what I am, ha).

But yea agree that decluttering is never done. But it becomes a natural part of the tidying process - for example, yesterday I was cleaning the bathroom and saw that one of the bathmats was just totally ragged, and we have better ones. I used up the cleaning stuff I had been bypassing for ages and cleaned the toilet bowl with them; found a ribbon under the bathroom unit I had been saving for something and DC had been playing with and binned it. In the afternoon I saw a friend and passed her the kids coats. So it just becomes quite second nature to look for things to get rid of - it is a habit, like brushing your teeth.

This morning I tore up and recycled an old note book that was full up, and binned an expired box of lateral flow test, plus a nasal spray (DH feeling unwell and rummaged around for items and we saw these) so things crop up if not daily, then weekly.

I now have a few larger projects to finish, one which is to take items from our garden which several sets of builders etc have left over the last 2 years as all our house repairs are done - and to finish working through our loft. I also do a twice-annual clothing clearout for me and DH. Once we get to autumn, I will sell/donate all the summer clothes I didn't wear this season. I reckon if I didn't love it enough to wear this summer, it is unlikely I will wear it next year either. I do this for DH too, but I always show him the pile and then he can choose if he wants to keep/disregard

Total is 1383