How do you find time to clean

[Emeraldrings]

How do you find time to clean? My house rarely gets a good clean. I work full time and so does DH. We have two teenagers and a toddler and I have elderly parents I try to visit every week. Teenagers are lazy about housework and DH is too although he will do DIY, gardening and sometimes wash up
I just can't seem to organise myself to have a cleaning rota. Our house isn't even that big. Much easier when I was part time plus toddler is quite demanding. I rarely get home before 6:30 and by the time toddler is in bed, we've eaten and had showers it's practically bedtime. Can't afford a cleaner plus the house is quite messy even though I try to keep it tidy.
How do the rest of you manage it?

I hate to say it but I do that sodding 'the organised mum method' is good. I don't like the name. Also I find it too much cleaning. But I loosely follow it. I clean the loos every other day, usually in the morning before the school run. And vacuum the main rooms every other day. And do one extra thing in the room that's on the rota for that day. Living room Monday which works well after the weekend. Bedrooms Tuesday. Bathroom Wednesday. Kitchen and back extension Thursday. Then and I think this is the best bit, clean something weird on Friday that you would never normally get round to. Like the oven. Or outside space. Or the blummin slatty cupboard in my house.

Oh and then not much at the weekend! But I do catch up thinks I've missed.

However I do think you need to get your husband and kids in on this. Not do it all yourself. Maybe your husband could do the level 1 and you could do level 2 or something.

Yes also do team Tomm here. Little and often and get the teenagers involved, you're doing them no favours by letting them be lazy.

I do the organised mum method, but also split duties with DH so that one of cooks dinner and the other one does the days cleaning.

For dividing up household labour, I used a book called Fair Play, had a meeting with DH and shared the work more fairly. It's still not perfect, but we feel like a team again, and it helped us, not just with everyday housework, but also the longer term jobs that neither of us had the energy to tackle.

Getting a robot hoover has helped massively. I put it on most days which helps keep things looking clean and tidy, then Friday evenings is my cleaning time. Straight after dinner I crack on and do everything reasonably well (with a more thorough clean over a weekend every school holiday) - I know I'll enjoy the weekend a whole lot more if I wake up to a clean house, and if I'm to bed late I can sleep in (maybe not possible if you have a toddler). I get some everyday things included in my children's chores which earns their pocket money - setting and clearing the table, picking up after the dog in the garden, emptying the dishwasher, and ironing. Kids are 12 and 14.

We have a robot hoover so clear the floor downstairs every night and upstairs every morning for it to run round. This often just involves heaping toys onto the sofa.

Then I do bathrooms and kitchen properly on a Saturday.

But things like skirtings, bannisters etc never get cleaned. Maybe once a year I'll make the effort.

There is thread after thread on here with the same problem but it is so easily solved.

Apart from caring for your toddler, just stop all cooking, laundry etc until your husband and teenagers do their share.

Find 20 minutes for a family meeting, tell them that being lazy is unacceptable, get them to literally sign their names against a list of jobs then go on strike until they pull their weight.

In a similar situation (but without a toddler) I once went on strike for 3 weeks. I held really firm. If they had no clean clothes, if they went hungry, if there were no clean dry towels, if the family bathroom was too disgusting to use, I just blithely ignored it. I ate at a friend's house several times or made a quick picnic and went for a long walk at dinnertime. Kept myself busy and avoided any pitiful looks or sighs. Honestly, it was life-changing.

When things started to slide afterwards I only had to suggest another Mum Strike for them all to remember how miserable they were and get back into line.

I'm not sure you'll like my answer, but since you asked - I don't work full time. I still very easily 'work' full time though made up of about 4 hours paid work, 2 hours house/garden/admin, and 2 hours cooking/ferrying my teenagers about.

I loosely follow flylady - namely her daily 'flight plan' but i do not recommend signing up to her emails. She sends hundreds!!
My family are grown up now so it's easier, but I remember being in your shoes and I can sympathise!
What I found helpful was developing routines and not aiming for perfection.

Slightly off topic but why is the "organised mom method" called that? It is contributing to the problem. The expectation that the mother is responsible is so outdated.

I have lazy teens but the rules are that one sweeps the kitchen floor and the other empties bins and clears the table. They argue and moan about this of course, but I leave the room so it doesn’t bother me.
Teens also have to tidy their rooms when I ask so I can clean their floors, maybe every 2 weeks (they have laminate). I strip their beds and put the clean sheets on the top for them to make it.
could you get your toddler involved, loading the washing machine etc, so they’re being entertained at the same time?

I allocate a job each and we'd get it done at the same time so I'd do kitchen except floor and bathrooms, dh would do dusting and hoovering and dd (from about 9 years old) would mop the kitchen floor and tidy her room so dh could hoover it. By sharing the load it's done in an hour and doing it all at same time means no one gets resentful or to opt out. Beds get changed on a Sunday too. Loos etc just get a spritz when needed in between.

Clothes are done on a rota by whoever is home so Monday/Thursday clothes, Tuesday towels, Friday delicates and Sunday bedding.

Dh usually cooks the evening meal and I clean up dishes/surfaces after.

Teens need some chores on a check list especially tidying as if they don't tidy clothes etc it's harder to clean.

You could make a Saturday to be your big family clean up day and all have if in the diary to do together, plan over dinner what items you'll need and who will do what, make it into a competition or something and earn a pizza night as a reward? It's not all your responsibility but you sound the most keen to get it going!

Because the woman who set it up refers to herself as 'the organised mum'. She's said in the past that it's not for mums, it's because she is the 'organised mum* when she started following it after she suffered from PND.

This is what she's said previously:

Over the years I have answered many questions about why it is mum and not parent, or dad, or family or something else.
I called it The Organised Mum because back when I was desperately trying to gain control of postnatal anxiety and over-cleaning that was what I wanted to be - an organised mum. It is as simple as that. I never ever thought I would share it, but when I did share the method I didn't want to change the name. It was such a massive part of me and my recovery that it felt wrong to call it something else.

One touch method I love, if you take a cup to the kitchen it goes in the dishwasher (touching it once) rather than next to the sink and then having to be thought about again.

Little and often, while someone is bathing toddler that’s 20mins, do a speed run and you gets loads done. I vacuum, wipe the kitchen down etc. if I’m feeling tired or ill i sometimes skip doing it but it makes a big difference those 20mins a day.

Your teens need a chore list. Bins, dishwasher, taking washing upstairs, stripping their beds, simple stuff but it will make a difference. Meal plan and have at least two simple meals a week like pasta bake and beans on toast.

This is fantastic, I love it. I’ve not yet needed a move like this but I will remember your wise words should I end up in this scenario when kids are older!

I clean as I go daily, and do a deep clean of some, somewhere when I have a block of time.

I do it as I go although also loosely follow the organised mum method as background.

If I notice something needs doing I just do it, I noticed that the kitchen window needed cleaning after I washed up so did it right then.
If I notice that the sink needs a clean, do it there and then.
Washing up is done straight after eating, oven and microwave are cleaned while still warm. Fridge is cleaned before the shopping is put away.

I don’t actually sit still for long which probably helps.

Why should you do it all? Whatwver solution you come up with must involve everyone else too

Think about having a PUPA (pick up and put away) session every night when you, DH and teens all help for 10 minutes.
Teens could have one small job each day eg empty dishwasher/ take rubbish out etc… You and DH share do a task each.

I've become a big fan of The Organised Mum Method's Rock the Housework subscription podcasts on Patreon. There's hundreds of sessions on there. Some follow the method, some are seperate from it. There's a lot of shorter or multi-room sessions which are great for refreshing/ maintainence/ restoring some semblence of order. They're great for making small, managable, regular installments of progress, and they take a lot of the tedious thought process out of the equation.

For family members, the phrase "while I'm doing X can you do Y" works well at cutting through false notions of injustice.

It's not your responsibility - it's shared with your husband. He needs to do his share end of.

If him and the teenagers don't do much then they need to realise that you won't either.

What's left for your husband to do?!