Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Sharing the chores

10 replies

Snow34 · 03/03/2023 11:17

Ok so I'm keen to know how larger families runs their household (we have 4 children) Do you share chores with your other half or is it dad works and sits down for the evening and mum carries on?

OP posts:
Theoldwoman · 03/03/2023 13:12

I don’t think it matters how many kids you have, you should be a team and work together in the evenings until everything is done to the level you are happy with so you Can both relax together .

cocksstrideintheevening · 03/03/2023 13:26

We both work ft, me slightly longer hours, three days at home.

On the days I'm at home I put washing in in the morning and get it out at lunch and repeat for the afternoon.

I do the meal plan he does the shopping.

We have a cleaner.

All kid related admin falls on me and it's a bone of contention tbh.

tempusername1234 · 03/03/2023 13:28

We both work, we both do house work and chores.

Lcb123 · 03/03/2023 13:32

Regardless of kids, chores should be split evenly so each partner gets the same amount of free time. and kids should be doing their share

Snow34 · 03/03/2023 14:29

Theoldwoman · 03/03/2023 13:12

I don’t think it matters how many kids you have, you should be a team and work together in the evenings until everything is done to the level you are happy with so you Can both relax together .

This is my view! But my other half seems to think he can sit down in the evenings and says how he's the main bread winner and I only work part time so I should do more and I end up working 24 7 while he sits down on his phone and watching tv 🙄 he will do the odd thing here and there (will take the bins out and will help put the kids to bed)

OP posts:
Snow34 · 03/03/2023 14:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Snow34 · 03/03/2023 14:31

Lcb123 · 03/03/2023 13:32

Regardless of kids, chores should be split evenly so each partner gets the same amount of free time. and kids should be doing their share

Totally agree 👍 need to have a chat with my household I think

OP posts:
JillenTavau · 03/03/2023 14:41

@Snow34 Don't use the phrase help, he doesn't help put the kids to bed, that implies it is your job. It is called parenting a child. He should be parenting.

How old are the children? What chores could they be doing in an age appropriate way? If they can toddle, laundry into a basket. If they are at school they can set a table, load plates into the dishwasher, wipe the table, possibly strip a bed, make up a bed. Lots of children at boarding school do this every week. Not everything falls to the Mum. This isn't the 1950s.

When children come home from school they put their things away, just like they are expected to do in school, coat where it belongs, shoes away, empty their lunch bags if they have them etc. They tidy up after themselves, this starts when they are toddlers. This is a team, the team works together to keep the house tidy. We used to sing a theme tune to a tv show about team work. We'd also chant Team (insert surname or a team name)

Equal free time, why is his free time more important than your free time? I say this as a long term SAHM with a completely plugged in, hands on husband. What sort of role model is your Dh setting for the children? That Dad's get to sit on their arse or those that work full time? Just trying to see his thinking.

Snow34 · 03/03/2023 14:50

JillenTavau · 03/03/2023 14:41

@Snow34 Don't use the phrase help, he doesn't help put the kids to bed, that implies it is your job. It is called parenting a child. He should be parenting.

How old are the children? What chores could they be doing in an age appropriate way? If they can toddle, laundry into a basket. If they are at school they can set a table, load plates into the dishwasher, wipe the table, possibly strip a bed, make up a bed. Lots of children at boarding school do this every week. Not everything falls to the Mum. This isn't the 1950s.

When children come home from school they put their things away, just like they are expected to do in school, coat where it belongs, shoes away, empty their lunch bags if they have them etc. They tidy up after themselves, this starts when they are toddlers. This is a team, the team works together to keep the house tidy. We used to sing a theme tune to a tv show about team work. We'd also chant Team (insert surname or a team name)

Equal free time, why is his free time more important than your free time? I say this as a long term SAHM with a completely plugged in, hands on husband. What sort of role model is your Dh setting for the children? That Dad's get to sit on their arse or those that work full time? Just trying to see his thinking.

I have a 3 yr old at preschool, 4 year old (currently being assessed for autism) , 11 yr old at secondary school and a 19 year old who is usually out working and with her friends. He just seems very old school, my jobs to look after the house and kids and his job is to bring the money in but it doesn't matter if I'm working and bringing in money because it's no where near what he earns 🙄

OP posts:
MysteryBelle · 04/03/2023 19:04

Snow34 · 03/03/2023 14:50

I have a 3 yr old at preschool, 4 year old (currently being assessed for autism) , 11 yr old at secondary school and a 19 year old who is usually out working and with her friends. He just seems very old school, my jobs to look after the house and kids and his job is to bring the money in but it doesn't matter if I'm working and bringing in money because it's no where near what he earns 🙄

You have plenty on your plate. Something that helps me so much is my dh will load the dishwasher etc after dinner. That is my most hated chore. He cooks occasionally but I do most of the cooking and after I’ve made dinner, I’m done! I don’t feel like dealing with the mess afterward. My son is responsible for taking out the trash after dinner, he should be doing more, and dh usually does the dishes and I appreciate that. He doesn’t clean the counters or floor or anything so it’s up to me to really clean but he does clean up my very messy dinner prep by at least loading the dishwasher and doing some stuff in the kitchen. He will also vacuum and does the things I can’t that require strength or skills I don’t have, or scary stuff like when a snake got into the house 😱

New posts on this thread. Refresh page