How do others do it?

[Jbear59]

I'm a full time working mum (demanding job), 9 Yr old son (lots of activitss going on outside of school), recently partner has moved in with us. The house is a constant mess, sometimes feel that even if I had 36 hours in a day there would still be jobs to do. Laundry is never ending, same load of washing generally goes through twice before I get it out.
I generally can't stand mess but I feel like I'm drowning in it atm.
Partner will be helpful and contribute if asked but doesn't see mess unless it's pointed out. Have tried getting ds involved In chores but it's a painful effort which often results in me wishing I'd done it myself. Any tips for keeping a tidy home whilst also being constantly rushed off my feet!

Don’t have an answer for you but wanted to say you’re not alone!! Feel like some people make it look so easy and it can be a really lonely experience feeling like you can’t hold it together housework wise because you’re doing other things.

Have a talk with your adult OH about it? I presume he lived independently before he moved in with you and so knows how to 'keep house'.
If he only does stuff when asked, treat him like a child and mock up a chore rota, even include DC in things like keeping his room tidy, polishing or something you feel he can actually do.
No need to try and do everything yourself as it will lead to burn out, and probably also building tension and resentment

There have been other threads on this, so I’ve posted this before but ..

1. mass declutter
2. get proper (closed) storage
3. teach your dcs & DP to tidy up after themselves
4. laundry - several baskets, put clean clothes in them & owner puts away … incl kids from age 7-8 or so. A load a day
5. cleaning:

• have a few daily basics (dishwasher, sweep kitchen, quick wipe if basins/bathroom etc)
• then break the tasks into chunks and do a bit everyday, either a room or a task (dusting/hoovering etc) - 20-45 mins per day - I have a regular routine with set days and this helps a lot as I don’t think about what to do I just do it

the only way really is to do it - either a big marathon weekly or a bit each day

look up ‘the organised mum method’ - starting with the boot camp and then maintaining works for me, as does doing some deep cleaning on a regular basis

I dont know.
I'm full time WFH with 3xdc - 1 primary, 1 secondary and 1 on an apprenticeship.
DH is great, and will do ANY chores but doesn't necessarily see them unless they're pointed out.
Most days I'm in my office from 7am til 8am to check emails and work out workload for the day, DD2 leaves for school at 7.40 and DS is up at just after 8am.
DD1 takes herself off to work anytime between 7.45 and 8.30am.
I take DS to school at 8.45 and after that I'm generally at my desk until 11am ish when I get a coffee - that also includes a load of washing going on and dishwasher load/unload and dinner prep.
Some days I manage to push the hoover round, but some days not, and before I know where I am it's 3pm and I need to do school run. That takes us to early evening with dinner etc and if I have an evening meeting I'm out of the house until 9.30pm ish.
DH will clear up kitchen etc,but all too often it's midnight before I find my bed and I have a list of stuff I planned to.do and didn't get done.
My working day is a minimum of 7 hrs BUT its totally flexible so I'd I want to work in the middle of the night I can.
I squeeze shopping into at least one day time, as well as the other stuff like bathroom cleaning etc.
Sometimes I get really resentful and wish I had a cleaner etc, but truth is I'm a control freak and I don't like to spend money if I can do it myself. A cleaner once a week would be a godsend!!

It sounds like you need to sit down together and write up something more structured than just hoping son and partner help out. It sucks and I sympathasise as my DH has a very high mess tolerance, so I do feel like I'm often repeatedly asking him to do the blindingly obvious!

I would come up with a daily system, where everyone is expected to do a few small tasks. Say Monday you put on wash and hang it up whilst DP cooks. DS helps with washing up etc.

As for decluttering, set everyone in the house a target of throwing away five items each day. You'll be surprised how much this makes a difference for a very small amount of effort. You could use Christmas as a motivator for this, especially good if you have someone in the house who is keen to get the decorations put up.

Lastly, invest in any labour saving devices you can afford and think will help. We've just bought a Robot Vac and it's the best £100 I've ever spent. Quick few minutes whip around to move any obstacles off the floor. Then set it running whilst I get on with tidying the kitchen, doing laundry etc. It somehow motivates me to see how much I can get done whilst it's running and there's something satisfying about hearing the sound of the hoover and not being the person actually doing it!