How do you stay organised without being a total control freak

[Kiwistar]

Im feeling so overwhelmed right now. I cycle through various housekeeping ‘help’ methods (fly lady- organised mum method) which frankly just end up making my whole life feel controlled by planning. I’ve got three kids. I also work four days a week in a busy job. Kids all primary age.

If I don’t have lists coming out of my ears or some method on the go I panic that it’ll all go wrong and I’ll end up in a messy house and forget everything. It’s depressing me now. My mind is racing all the time about all the things I have to do and meanwhile life is slipping by and I’m totally mindlessly living in it. I delegate where I can to those at home who can do their not to help but I feel like I have ti be the brains behind all the organisation.

Could you tell me how to strike a balance between living life calmly but still getting everything done that needs doing? Is there even such a thing?

Good question!

I don't bother with pure Flylady or TOMM for that reason, I feel it just creates another task list to keep on top of. We keep on top of the kitchen & hoovering & putting stuff away daily as best we can. Then for the rest of the housework my method is: just do something. Whatever I have time for, whatever seems most urgent, I'll do it.

I grew up with a very organized mother, and at times I resented the feeling that everything was a to do list. Now... I can feel myself becoming the same way and I see how it happens! I want home life to feel calm and not chaotic, but yet I don't want the first words out of my mouth to everyone always being 'now you need to ..'

When I feel like that I reduce my list down to the priorities that have to happen. Delegate some of it if you can. Think about what is the minimum that needs to happen and go from there. Having a daily checklist is helpful for me as it means it doesn't build up into a huge list at the weekend.

Longer term having a decluttered home helps. Also keeping stuff tidy (not necessarily clean...) helps with my feeling of being overwhelmed. Keeping floors and surfaces clear is good to aim for.

When I was married and my DS was little it used to piss me off that I had to be the organised one, but I just had to accept it.

I don’t do the organised mum though I like the idea but I have a very clean home and an organised to a sensible degree. My top tip is to do one job a day (but not to a list)
so it might be cleaning the fridge or making a bed. But I do one job

weve a cordless vacuum so I do that each day in spots where it gets crumbs etc
I batch cook so don’t waste an hour a day cooking and cleaning