Ladies, how do I get my husband to understand and do some very basic things?
- He doesn't go into a room and think oh okay we need more of that, for example when we run out of detergent, he asks me where it is instead of buying more. He waits for me to tell him what to do like I'm the project manager of the household.
- Our wetroom gets mould in the grout if the floor is not dried after use. I have repeated myself at least 5 times in the past two weeks alone for him to dry the floor after using the shower, does he do it? No. Does he complain endlessly that the floor is wet in the downstairs bathroom. Yes.
-If laundry is not spun and moved to the drying rack or tumble dryer, you get mildew or the clothes will smell really bad. You can't leave them in the drum wet for days at a time waiting for your wife to finish the laundry.
He does not put his clothes away. I've sat him down more times than I can count now telling him I'm not his mother, hang your shirts, put your underwear away, this is ridiculous. His response was always defensive but now it's just 'that's not how my brain works.' He leaves it in the wash basket, last time for over a month.
Other info: We are married, have lived together for 4 years, been together for 12. He is 28, I am 27. We have a fortnightly cleaner for 3 hours, for our 3 bed home. She makes a word of difference. The problem isn't the house is unclean, it's his mindset and unwillingness to see the problem. He is intelligent, an IT engineer, very well spoken, his upbringing wasn't great and he never did any chores or his own washing... I have seen his parent's house and I don't think they clean it more than once a year.
We have lived together for 4 years, I have SO many times explained this problem to him, asked him do you see me as the keeper of the chores or something? He says no but also says he just doesn't think that way. I have politely mentioned he bloody needs to, like now. He responds "Yes, I know, I'll do it." But he doesn't. I don't know if he's waiting subconsciously for me to pick up these chores.
I work full time, he works full time, so I have as much time as him, and do my half of the house work, often jobs go undone simply because I put my foot down and refuse to be a housewife. That is NOT what I am, I am the breadwinner, work just as many hours as he does, I am pregnant, tired, fighting Hyperemesis, trying to keep this house clean as possible and trying my best here. Any advice?