Page 2 | Save me while I die of embarrassment.

Teenprobs · 2022-08-23T14:08:13+00:00

Been away for a weekend. Got back late Sunday evening. Had a burglary while we were away so dealth with that all day monday and also, was unwell Monday from all the travelling, and then last night DP ended up in A and E with horrendous tooth pain, so my planned I must clean up day that was this morning, but i was awake literally the entire night so opted to sleep for the morning instead, so british gas have turned up for their engineer appointment this pm despite cancelling it this morning. The house is a shit hole. I've washed up and Wipes sides but the cupboard of doom was full up and there's washing everywhere and theres crap from the car. So I want to die of embarrassment. Tell me your stories.

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 16:01

catsnore · 23/08/2022 15:59

Not really house related but I once went in to a hairdresser's to make an appointment for a student cut. When I got back to college a friend pointed out I had something in my hair. On closer inspection it appeared a pigeon had pooed on my head on the way there (I had felt something but it was raining so assumed it was water 😂). So the whole time I was making the appointment and chatting about what I wanted etc I was visibly decorated with a pile of poo 💩

Still went to the appointment. Had washed my hair by then 😂

Did they book you in as pigeon shit hair lady lol 😆

OP posts:

tellyiscrap · 23/08/2022 16:31

I'm cringing here ...

Many many years ago I lived in a one bedroom flat alone
Sat on the loo having a number 2 , hear a knock at door , rather than have that random person hear me flush directly opposite front door , I decide to close bathroom door and answer front door , see off random person , close door , flush toilet ... oh no

Standing at door is absolutely gorgeous council man telling me we all getting new baths and can he have a look at mine to see what I need ... while my poo sits in toilet .. I had to quickly make up a bf who was in the bath and could he come back in 20 .. gutted

Flushed , cleaned air freshener ready for his return wish I'd said sister brother cousin in bath 🤭

JimmiChoux · 23/08/2022 16:32

@Teenprobs I had the estate agent round a while ago, he spent the first half hour telling me about some hideous properties that he had encountered, he was really going to town and in great detail. I didn't offer him a coffee incase he told his next client about my hideous taste in mugs.

I wish I had been brave enough to tell him that his shirt was far too tight and I could see his belly button where the buttons were so stretched.

What was wrong with your dh's tooth, sounds awful.

BronwenFrideswide · 23/08/2022 16:34

StrawbHead · 23/08/2022 15:20

Many years ago when I was single, a gas man showed up to read my meter the day after I'd had a party. I'd tidied and fairly adequately wiped around so that was all good. Not so good was when I opened to the door to my under-stairs cupboard and a random, unconscious man rolled out.

Oh that's just brilliant😆

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 16:41

tellyiscrap · 23/08/2022 16:31

I'm cringing here ...

Many many years ago I lived in a one bedroom flat alone
Sat on the loo having a number 2 , hear a knock at door , rather than have that random person hear me flush directly opposite front door , I decide to close bathroom door and answer front door , see off random person , close door , flush toilet ... oh no

Standing at door is absolutely gorgeous council man telling me we all getting new baths and can he have a look at mine to see what I need ... while my poo sits in toilet .. I had to quickly make up a bf who was in the bath and could he come back in 20 .. gutted

Flushed , cleaned air freshener ready for his return wish I'd said sister brother cousin in bath 🤭

This is a brilliant story!!!

OP posts:

Homewardbound2022 · 23/08/2022 16:46

A few weeks ago, while my cleaning lady was doing the ironing, I went into my bedroom after she'd changed the sheets and spotted my rabbit (not the 4-legged variety either) sitting on the chest of drawers in plain sight. It had become lost in the bed clothes and I'd forgotten about it. She could barely make eye contact with me. I briefly considered firing her so I wouldn't have to see her again.

DogsAndGin · 23/08/2022 16:46

What an awful run of luck OP 💐 you deserve to treat yourself after all that! Forget about the gas man, I’m sure he’s seen worse, go and get yourself a glass of wine!

If it’s any consolation, we’re doing various bits of DIY around the house so the living room and kitchen look like a bombsite! I don’t even bother to explain anymore, my family and friends know what’s what, and I don’t give a stuff if the postman judges us 🤣

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 16:47

JimmiChoux · 23/08/2022 16:32

@Teenprobs I had the estate agent round a while ago, he spent the first half hour telling me about some hideous properties that he had encountered, he was really going to town and in great detail. I didn't offer him a coffee incase he told his next client about my hideous taste in mugs.

I wish I had been brave enough to tell him that his shirt was far too tight and I could see his belly button where the buttons were so stretched.

What was wrong with your dh's tooth, sounds awful.

Still waiting to see a dentist but he ended up on a morphine drip as he was climbing the walls and was puking shivering sweating and swearing profusely

OP posts:

goldfinchonthelawn · 23/08/2022 16:49

StrawbHead · 23/08/2022 15:20

Many years ago when I was single, a gas man showed up to read my meter the day after I'd had a party. I'd tidied and fairly adequately wiped around so that was all good. Not so good was when I opened to the door to my under-stairs cupboard and a random, unconscious man rolled out.

Comedy gold.

shiningstar2 · 23/08/2022 16:49

Not quite a housekeeping one but embarrassing non the less. Many moons ago we had a plumbing disaster. No water for anything including morning showers so I got straight on to a plumbing firm who said they could come out later in the morning as it was an emergency.
My pleading that it was urgent must have rung home because before my teenage daughter and I could get dressed there was the sound of the door bell ringing.
Picture the scene, middle aged woman opens the door in dressing gown with bright eager smile, ushering young plumber in. Teen daughter appears at the top of the stairs in dressing gown just as I turn to the plumber and say 'thank God you've come, we're desperate'. Poor bloke didn't know whether to climb the stairs or run for his life. Just as he's deciding daughter raises eyebrows and says speak for yourself mum, I'm not desperate. 😮That broke the ice lol and you could almost see the poor man breathing a sigh of relief😀

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 16:50

Homewardbound2022 · 23/08/2022 16:46

A few weeks ago, while my cleaning lady was doing the ironing, I went into my bedroom after she'd changed the sheets and spotted my rabbit (not the 4-legged variety either) sitting on the chest of drawers in plain sight. It had become lost in the bed clothes and I'd forgotten about it. She could barely make eye contact with me. I briefly considered firing her so I wouldn't have to see her again.

This reminds me of the time that after morning sex afrer the school run I took mine to the bathroom to clean, the door knocked and I left it in the sink then forgot and went to work, I remembered half way through my day and had to make an excuse to leave work to hide my vibrator before my teen came home from school and saw his mums dildo in the sink.

OP posts:

Homewardbound2022 · 23/08/2022 16:53

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 16:50

This reminds me of the time that after morning sex afrer the school run I took mine to the bathroom to clean, the door knocked and I left it in the sink then forgot and went to work, I remembered half way through my day and had to make an excuse to leave work to hide my vibrator before my teen came home from school and saw his mums dildo in the sink.

Show quote history

Brilliant!

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 16:53

DogsAndGin · 23/08/2022 16:46

What an awful run of luck OP 💐 you deserve to treat yourself after all that! Forget about the gas man, I’m sure he’s seen worse, go and get yourself a glass of wine!

If it’s any consolation, we’re doing various bits of DIY around the house so the living room and kitchen look like a bombsite! I don’t even bother to explain anymore, my family and friends know what’s what, and I don’t give a stuff if the postman judges us 🤣

I'm bloody pregnant for more bad luck (not that this is unlucky were very happy and excited) but I'm sad at the lack of Gin in my life recently as its been a run of bad luck the past 2 weeks

OP posts:

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 16:55

shiningstar2 · 23/08/2022 16:49

Not quite a housekeeping one but embarrassing non the less. Many moons ago we had a plumbing disaster. No water for anything including morning showers so I got straight on to a plumbing firm who said they could come out later in the morning as it was an emergency.
My pleading that it was urgent must have rung home because before my teenage daughter and I could get dressed there was the sound of the door bell ringing.
Picture the scene, middle aged woman opens the door in dressing gown with bright eager smile, ushering young plumber in. Teen daughter appears at the top of the stairs in dressing gown just as I turn to the plumber and say 'thank God you've come, we're desperate'. Poor bloke didn't know whether to climb the stairs or run for his life. Just as he's deciding daughter raises eyebrows and says speak for yourself mum, I'm not desperate. 😮That broke the ice lol and you could almost see the poor man breathing a sigh of relief😀

Teens always trying their best to show us up!!! Love it!

OP posts:

Overpaymymortgage · 23/08/2022 17:03

This isnt going to help but a few years ago I had a Hotpoint man visit. I had a broken wrist so had not been able to pull out the broken washing machine to clean before he came. I apologised for the mess behind it and he said "oh thats nothing" and proceeded to show me photographs on his phone of messy houses he had visited and tell stories of washing machines covered in piles of rubbish and dog mess everywhere etc. I felt so sick. Im now always extra careful to clean before I have tradespeople in.

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 17:03

JenGin · 23/08/2022 15:53

It wasn't embarrassing for me but many years ago my boyfriend at the time had turned up at my front door paralytic in the early hours of the morning as he'd thought he lost his house key. After shouting at him and telling him he needs to grow up I went back to bed, expecting him to follow and pass out in a heap on the bed. Woke up to knocking on the door and quickly rushed to put on my dressing gown and answer it. I did note that my boyfriend wasn't passed out next to me but in my tired state just assumed he'd got up and staggered home at some point.

The knock on the door was my friend/colleague who I'd agreed would pop over to drop of some stuff before she went away. Apologised for forgetting and bleary eyed led her to the living room for a quick cup of tea. As I noticed a trail of clothes it dawned on me what had happened but it was too late. We were in the living room and there was my passed out boyfriend completely naked on the sofa. I suppose the only saving grace was that he was sleeping face down so at least some of his dignity was kept in tact! Why he was naked I don't know but he explained that he thought he I was angry at him so took it upon himself to sleep on the sofa instead of the bed!

This is my favourite! X

OP posts:

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 23/08/2022 17:06

Am sure your place is fine and he has seen worse, I would have just told him had been away and had been burgled. Am laughing at the man falling out of the cupboard. Once when I was visiting my sister 30 years ago in the house where she was renting rooms and it was a very large place and I went up to bed and my sister came in waking me and said get up that I was in the wrong bedroom and that it was a famous Irish actor's bedroom ha ha.. We still laugh about it, imagine if he had come in to find this 17 year old with mad wild hair in his bed.

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 17:07

Overpaymymortgage · 23/08/2022 17:03

This isnt going to help but a few years ago I had a Hotpoint man visit. I had a broken wrist so had not been able to pull out the broken washing machine to clean before he came. I apologised for the mess behind it and he said "oh thats nothing" and proceeded to show me photographs on his phone of messy houses he had visited and tell stories of washing machines covered in piles of rubbish and dog mess everywhere etc. I felt so sick. Im now always extra careful to clean before I have tradespeople in.

I always am too ! But couldn't face the pre clean having zero sleep last night. I wish they had just called them rather than emailed... Its now done, and he was nice and I hope I never see him again. Haha

OP posts:

StarCourt · 23/08/2022 17:08

Moved into my very first flat, in the 90's, it was a Saturday and brand new boyfriend had helped a lot with moving.
Next morning the door buzzer went at 9am. It was my parents,
they'd decided to pop in and see how I was settling in.
Cue random man ( to them ) walking out of my bedroom right in front of them. Wearing my dads dressing gown. Mortified

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 17:09

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 23/08/2022 17:06

Am sure your place is fine and he has seen worse, I would have just told him had been away and had been burgled. Am laughing at the man falling out of the cupboard. Once when I was visiting my sister 30 years ago in the house where she was renting rooms and it was a very large place and I went up to bed and my sister came in waking me and said get up that I was in the wrong bedroom and that it was a famous Irish actor's bedroom ha ha.. We still laugh about it, imagine if he had come in to find this 17 year old with mad wild hair in his bed.

Did you ever find out who this was?? That's hilarious!

I was expecting a much different reaction to my post I'm feeling so much better now! X

OP posts:

stillvicarinatutu · 23/08/2022 17:09

Try this for size .

I was seeing someone who was very adventurous in the bedroom.

Never having experienced such things it was all quite exciting.

He did climbing so had spare ropes ....which he attached to my bed . And also brought with him a rather garishly coloured toy .

These things were left out as I live alone , while I went to walk the dog .

When I got back a note was through the door saying the window cleaner had been . My then pet we said oh so t worry they do it all with poles these days .
The next time they came - I was home . They do it with ladders and buckets and NOT with poles . They must have seen everything.

I now hide and close the blinds when they come round . 😂

Pollydon · 23/08/2022 17:10

Ok, imagine the scene. 28 weeks pregnant, DH and DS are on a trip to stay with MIL(, I'm just getting over horrendous morning sickness & vertigo so not fit to fly)
I decided to do a load of batch cooking for the deep freeze . Kitchen is upended but meh, I'm pregnant and tired so I have a kip on the couch.

Woke up to FIL and SMIL ( aka the most judgemental couple on earth ) staring through the kitchen window, open mouthed at the " devastation " ( their word ) . Luckily DH called as I was trying to explain, keep my temper, not burst into tears and not throw up.

As DH was having a word with his dad, my parents arrived with more provisions for my batch cooking extravaganza. Smil let's them know that she has NEVER seen such as mess, to which my mum replied " Hardly surprising Elenor, what with you having a housekeeper and never having to actually use the kitchen yourself "

T'was 25 years ago so I can now look back and laugh, but at the time I was mortified.

Luminousnose · 23/08/2022 17:11

House was on the market. All sparkling and fresh. Ten minutes before first viewing I thought I’d just whip round and check I had’t forgotten anything. Opened my bedroom door and was hit by the most Godawful stink - I’d shut the cat in and the bastard had done a protest poo right in the middle of my bed! Cleared it up and opened all the windows, but … they didn’t make an offer!

Original poster

Teenprobs · 23/08/2022 17:14

Pollydon · 23/08/2022 17:10

Ok, imagine the scene. 28 weeks pregnant, DH and DS are on a trip to stay with MIL(, I'm just getting over horrendous morning sickness & vertigo so not fit to fly)
I decided to do a load of batch cooking for the deep freeze . Kitchen is upended but meh, I'm pregnant and tired so I have a kip on the couch.

Woke up to FIL and SMIL ( aka the most judgemental couple on earth ) staring through the kitchen window, open mouthed at the " devastation " ( their word ) . Luckily DH called as I was trying to explain, keep my temper, not burst into tears and not throw up.

As DH was having a word with his dad, my parents arrived with more provisions for my batch cooking extravaganza. Smil let's them know that she has NEVER seen such as mess, to which my mum replied " Hardly surprising Elenor, what with you having a housekeeper and never having to actually use the kitchen yourself "

T'was 25 years ago so I can now look back and laugh, but at the time I was mortified.

You're mum is a legend! I'm a 58 saucepan person for a simple spaghetti Bol so I can picture the devastation easily!!! Haha. She sounds a total knob!

OP posts:

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 23/08/2022 17:18

No never did but I probably had a lucky escape or maybe he did. I love these stories hilarious and cheering me up as have such tummy pain and no renee or gaviscone. I remember had guy over to clean chimney in old place as do not have open fire on here and he asked to use my loo after, took me nearly hour to clean it as black soot everywhere, the cheecky fucker.