Smell of urine -- advice please

[ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus]

Can anyone help me with a rather delicate problem, please? I visit an elderly relative every month, and have noticed a smell of urine building up in her house. I first noticed it in her airing cupboard, so I took everything out, threw away some old knickers that I think were the cause, and rewashed all the others in her washing machine. I scrubbed her bathroom when I noticed a slight smell in there too. (I feel a responsibility because she has no one closer who will help. But I can't visit more often.)

The problem is that this old lady is very independent, still lives alone and rinses out her knickers in the bathroom washbasin every day. But it's not enough. As she doesn't have the strength or energy to wash them effectively by hand, I think they need to be machine-washed. I would want to soak them in a bucket until she has a machine-load.

BUT she doesn't use the machine very often. She says her clothes don't need changing every day. She has a weekly cleaner/carer who machine-washes a sheet or towels every few weeks, but putting the undies in with those would leave them soaking for too long. She doesn't want the carer to wash her undies by hand.

I've forced myself to talk to her about this, as she is lovely, and presentable in all other ways, and I hate to see her becoming a smelly old person that people avoid. She was very hurt that I mentioned it, and wouldn't talk about it.

I've used sprays to cover up the smell of urine but I don't think they're totally effective.

Should I buy her a covered bucket to soak the undies till they go in the machine? In which case, what would you use? Milton? (I haven't had children but remember nappy buckets from my baby-sitting days!)

I'm hoping to persuade her to wash all her clothes in the machine every week. What if I can't?

Any other ideas? I'd really appreciate any advice other Mumsnetters could give. Thank you.

Your heart is in the right place but you shouldnt have thrown anything away and scrubbed her batheoom without her permission, was she ok with you doing that. Urine shouldnt smell, she may have a uti. If she can rinse them out then she could use a few drops of liquid wash which she could keep in the bathroom, the bottles can be neavy so you could decant some into a smaller discreet bottle. Im not sure a bucket full of wet pants is what whe would like, who would take them out and put them in the machine.
Would she consider wearing a pad if she is a bit dribbly, can she wipe herself ok, is there carpet in the loo.
Maybe try qnd have a chat with her again, you could say its hard getting older and us old girls do dribble, she might be more open about it if she thinks its commin and can get help with. I would use pot pourri rather than a spray, its less obvious you are trying to cover up any smells.

Thanks for giving this so much thought, HappyHamsters. She's happy for me to clean and rearrange things, but I always ask her first anyway. She was a wonderful home-maker but realises she needs a hand now. Luckily she's happy for me to use my judgement in throwing things away -- she knows I'd never dump something that might have even a bit of sentimental value to her.

She does use small pads when she goes out, but never smells of urine. No carpet in the loo, thank heavens. She can wipe herself fine, and generally has no problem keeping clean. She did once have a UTI, which was quickly treated with antibiotics. Her fantastic GP keeps very much on top of her (few) health issues. But I don't think the smell is normal fresh urine. I think it's just those not-quite-washed-enough knickers on the bathroom radiator that cause the smell.

Pot pourri sounds a great idea -- I'll take some next time I visit.

Your comment about liquid wash in the bathroom has given me the idea of looking for a portable washing machine! I've just looked that up and there are lots of different models. I think if I bought her one and used it, she might take to that. Worth a try.

Thanks for all your advice and also the ideas you sparked!

You could also buy some wardrobe fresheners, they are scented bags to hang in the airing cupboard and you can top them up with essential,oils. I wish I had known about portable washing machines when I was a student lugging it all to the laundrette.

Thanks Happy, essential oils are much nicer than chemical sprays so I'll give that a go too.

Something like baking soda would neutralise the smells. Maybe bio laundry detergent?

Would an anti-bacterial hand soap in the bathroom help? These clean more effectively for less washing time than laundry liquid.

We use Bio D mulberry hand wash for certain tasks because it cleans really well but isn’t harsh on my hands like some soaps. Its anti-bacterial action is from 15 seconds of contact so she wouldn’t have to be standing there for ages to get the benefit.

(I expect others similar products are out there!)

For the bathroom - have you checked the toilet itself? It might be leaking slightly, they can become loose if people rock to get themselves up and off the seat. Plus urine can get into seals/hinges and dribble down the outside of the pan soaking into the floor. If so, once fixed might be an idea to have a toilet frame or a strategically placed hand rail.
might be worth a quick look/sniff ?

Can they be persuaded to use disposable pants, or would that be too expensive?

You can still buy lidded buckets with the manual wash/plunger thing in a hole in the lid which could be a good alternative to soaking in the sink.