Hacks/tips running home for FTM returning to FT work

[arb123]

So I’m a FTM heading back to work full time in 6 weeks after 12 months Mat leave ( potentially dropping to 4 days) with DD starting FT nursery and I’d love to hear from folk on their top tips/hacks/products for keeping on top of household stuff, life admin and the like whilst both parents work. I know it’s going to take time to get used to a brand new routine and the mental load is already heavy so anything that makes life easier.

For context we already do what we can early morning/evening/weekend - loading dishwasher overnight, washing clothes, cleaning house etc. We do a click and collect grocery order once a week. No physical/practical support from family simply due to in-laws in another country, and my dads a full time carer to my mum (both only children so no aunts/uncles etc). We will both be hybrid working, aiming for different days at home and im lucky to be flexi so my aim will be in for 7ish to leave 3ish to then collect DD whilst DF deals with her in the morning. I was thinking of setting a weekly list so who ever is WFH can do some things on lunch break or whatever but not sure how realistic that is.

Anyway any fab tips fully appreciated…TIA ☺️

The one thing that had the biggest impact was spending the first 15 mins or so of the first working day of the week collating checking both work and home diaries, looking for important events and if anything needs to be done to prepare for them, and working out what needs to be done when.

You also need to find a way to deal with nursery/school admin (either update home diary immediately - with both date of event, reminder the week before and note of any Stuff you need to provide and when; or glance over and unless urgent response is needed deal with it the next weekly collation session.

I found this made me more efficient both at work and at home, as I got prioritisation and planning updated on a regular basis.

I did it, because DH travelled a lot for work. You might want to find a different balance if yours is normally there

@AuntieStella Thanks and good advice. We both use the time tree app at the moment and things are colour coded so it's a good idea to utilise that more. Both of us have to travel, although I think it will be less post covid but will still call for being really organised when only one parent is available at home to do everything.

I was thinking of setting a weekly list so who ever is WFH can do some things on lunch break or whatever but not sure how realistic that is.

This is exactly what we do and it works well for us, as you can just pick an item off the list and crack on with it if you find you've got a spare ten minutes.

We also have a digital calendar that we can both access/update. Everything goes into that immediately : birthdays, appointments, social plans.

We collectively meal plan 3 to 4 days ahead and make sure ingredients are brought beforehand so I can prep as much as possible the night before. We're in the habit of eating early so we've always had dinner at the same time as 3yo DS. It avoids eating into your whole evening by doing two lots of meals.

@LoopDiL00p great to know the list thing works, will definitely give it a go.

I was thinking slow cooker type meals too with coming into winter so like you say buying ingredients ahead of time that can be chucked together. I'm hoping some nights we can eat together, certainly DD and I but DF doesn't have set hours and at present being in office some days doesn't make it home for her bedtime never mind dinner. Hopefully as she gets older and is capable of staying awake abit longer that will change.

Appreciate the tips so far.☺️

1. Switch from C&C to deliveries, it will save you time
2. get a cleaner if you can afford one

We tend to be up quite early because the DC wake up early so do things like put the washing on a timer overnight and use the time in the morning to hang it up.

We try and get as many chores and admin done in the evenings as possible to keep weekends for family time, but in reality we're knackered and often just flop of an evening. A bit of structure helps.

Hybrid working is a blessing and do a such as you can at lunchtimes!

Get a cleaner if you can afford
batch cook
try and schedule in some time for you and DH to chill (during COVID, we tag teamed for this)

I do little and often, the only useful tip I have to offer is clean the bathroom whilst they're in the bath. I also finish my lunch/tea quicker than them so tidy/clean the kitchen around them. I tend to get them to help too and do it when they're around, stuff like loading the washing machine and getting their own plates and cups etc out of the dishwasher they love. Good luck!

Cleaner!!!!

No idea if Nurseries allow it but we used to drop DC at the childminders in their PJs at 7 having had no breakfast and picked them up in pjs at 6/7.30 having had their dinner.

I only worked 2 (long) days though but this took massive stress out of my day as I could focus on work and not child related tasks with then 5 full days with the DC

I have a weekly planner on the fridge because we find it easier for everything to be visible, and you see it multiple times a day. It has who is doing what, and a meal plan for the week.
You could easily add a list to it. Also it is good when dc get older and can read, helps them remember a) what is going on and b) what day they need to take xyz to school.

If you're cooking, cook more than you need so there are leftovers.

You sound pretty organised!

Yes to deliveries rather than C&C. I bought an extra fridge freezer (had space in outhouse) and meal planned a week at a time, buying everything inc milk etc and on a good week there would be no top-up shopping required. I have a set day I aim for - do the order on a Wed for delivery Fri evening, which gives a spare day for remembering stuff I forgot etc.

Prioritise your cleaning. Keep the bathroom clean with a little & often approach. Do the kitchen before bed every night without fail. Hoover hall & stairs to give nice first impression for guests ☺ I aim for a daily & weekly list, plus then I used to use the FlyLady routines (zone based) for other cleaning - they are v practical, you can ignore the American waffle that comes with them, the world keeps turning if you miss bits.

Handle every bit of admin as soon as it hits (especially nursery/school stuff) - reply to letters, party invites etc immediately.

Don't sweat the small stuff. I remember hearing a group of parents debating which school polo shirts to get. Omg. Your child is 4 and requires a white polo shirt; they come in three-packs in the supermarket.

And yes eat together is a good idea. Double dinner takes up your whole evening.

Batch cooking, batch cooking, batch cooking and an excellent cleaner/ retired housekeeper.

An ironing service if you need one. I had a lady that ironed for me for twenty odd years, she became a friend of the family, we took her on holiday once when she was having a rough time. I'm not saying you have to spend a fortune, but a bit of help in the right places makes the world of difference and is worth spending on.

If you can find great people like these - car mechanic, plumber, electrician, etc- and treat them decently like you would want to be treated, appreciate them, life becomes so much better. You and your child will be surrounded (ideally) by love, goodwill or friendship, which makes life so much easier and better for everyone.

Good luck. 😊

Thank you so much for the tips/hacks! I don't feel that organised but have been trying to be/think of what to do. Some things had crossed my mind - cleaner etc. I hadn't thought of cleaning the bathroom whilst we are in it, I do try when I'm in it ( in a rush albeit). The kitchen I try to do at the moment whilst she eats.

I think the reality is some things will spill in to the weekend as we are already knackered in the evening. We try to give each other time - DF golfs and I used to train at gym 5/6 days a week, at the moment I make it to a spin class every couple of weeks 😂 alas we both like to do these things on a Saturday morning so it is a tag team effort/turn about. Tbh it's a tag team effort for everything....I think a cleaner will definitely be on the cards.

We need to get power into the garage for an extra freezer so can do more batches of stuff and yes a grocery delivery makes more sense.

The nursery is 8-6 so not sure re pjs but it's something to think about. She'll get ready and breakfast at home and the timing works out for dad to drop her off before he goes to work/WFH as he normally starts 8.40-9. The idea being he'll do drop off and I'll do pickup regardless of in office/wfh.

Luckily my friend is a mechanic, a friends son is an electrician and we also have a plumber so these are all really useful, and we have a great joiner as we are still doing renovations on our house. My friends have also offered to babysit in future ( when she's a fair bit older) and hopefully once breastfeeding ceases things will be a little easier for me personally.

Do people really have time to discuss school uniform?!? That made me laugh!

Yes! Get the garage freezer! Definitely worth getting the power sorted so you can get that in.

We only got ours recently, but it's been great for batch cooking and for getting big bags of 'chuck in the oven' type foods.

One tip I read on here which we’ve adopted is to have a weekly ‘meeting’ with your partner. So on a Sunday evening or whenever sit together with a glass of wine and some lovely snacks (to make the experience a bit more pleasant!) and look at the calendar for the weekend ahead and make decisions - who’s picking up DC when, who’s doing the online grocery shop, who’s posting the birthday card to Aunty Sheila, who’s buying a present for cousin Billy’s party next weekend etc etc. Will mean jobs are fairly shared and less panic sessions during the week. Also keeps chats in the week more fun as if one of us strays into life admin and says ‘we need to open an ISA’ or whatever, the other says let’s discuss it at the meeting, and instead we can get back to chatting about something a bit lighter 😁

@Sammysquiz wine and snacks to make it better...I like this idea ha ha!