Please help - decluttering and maintenance advice

[Fuuuuuckit]

Hi all. I've had an almighty year - my mum died in Feb, I've changed jobs and just getting over covid. My car just cost me a fortune to fix and I've not got a spare penny to throw at my pigsty of a home.

It's not at hoarding levels by any stretch though I do have boxes of stuff from my mum's to be sorted, but my MH manifests in laziness around cleaning and tidying. I need a list - a programme of jobs to do, a deadline, and some sort of weekly/monthly plan to keep on top of things.

I'm not a fan of flylady, I need something a bit more bossy/no BS to give me a kindly kick up the backside.

Standard 3 bed 1 bath semi, shouldn't be too hard, right? (single parent, 2 kids)

Any pointers?

The organised mum method sounds like a good option for you. The app has a great to do list for each day and pings up a reminder. Mine has appeared as I was typing this 😁

Why don’t you set yourself the challenge to review 10 items a way starting in one room and see how far it gets you in a month.

10 items is manageable. Keep/bin/sell/charity

if you’re unsure make a box of unsure and see if you use. If you don’t after a month get rid

You could tackle one room at a time and a do a clockwise clean - just move clockwise round the room cleaning as a you go. If there is a lot, just do a bit each day (say a quarter) then move on to the next section of the room.

My best advice would be:
Have a few bags at hand; one for charity shop, one for rubbish etc.
Have an exit plan for all items - as soon as a bag is full, bin it or take to charity shop.
Once you have more of a handle on things, ensure everything has a home so you always know where things go.
And live by the mantra 'don't put it down, put it away' but this only works once everything has a place.

In terms of cleaning, TOMM would be great to keep in top of everything on a weekly basis.

Get yourself on eBay. Once the money starts coming in it might motivate you.

Just one box at a time I reckon. One pile for the bin, one pile for charity shop and one for eBay. Only keep what you need.

Oops sorry op, I should have said, TOMM is for the cleaning rather than the decluttering.

Can you have a charity bag always on the go? Or a box if there's anything you're selling?

The one single thing that I found that helped me and still does is "5 jobs a day" I am in the middle of a massive house reboot which keeps getting slowed by various things well outside of my control (family illness, a flooded bedroom...honestly you couldn't make it up) Every single day as well as the general housework stuff I do 5 extra jobs. Jobs do vary in size, so one job can be listing stuff on freecycle, sorting one box or bag, doing some gardening. If its a huge job that can't be broken down...maybe moving big furniture...then I count it as two jobs. If you can't commit to 5 jobs then commit to 3, even 1. When you start, its important not to worry about the mountain that needs to be done, you just focus on that day, that job committment. When you get disheartened, look back and praise yourself for what you have achieved. I don't think there is a fast fix...at least I haven't found one!

TOMM as well as cleaning also has a clutterbuster and boot camp to kick start the process.

Ref the 'stuff' - I agree, one room ( or even one box or one cupboard) at a time. Three piles, keep, throw, charity (or carboot) and an exit strategy so that it's not lingering. Be prepared to revisit the keep pile several times!. Don't do what we did and have a massive clear out and then for two years say that we will do a carboot (and never) do. And then keep tripping up over the boxes for most of those two years... Have just got rid of a massive car load to the charity shop . Feels much better!
TOMM will help with both clearance and then maintenance.

With your mum's stuff I would say, you may feel now that want to keep EVERYTHING for sentimental reasons, which is ok if you are still quite raw and emotional. (I'm assuming you had a good relationship with your mum) But have a plan to go through it again, maybe in a couple of years, when you can be a bit more rational about whether you really need to keep some slightly manky salad servers, just because they were your mum's.

Thanks for that - there has been some upset with mine and my sibling's clearing out style of my mum's things - not salad tongs but other kitchenalia that are equally tatty but part of Sunday lunches, Christmases and birthdays for the best part of 50 years. I've managed to whittle the last few bits as much as I can but there are still boxes of it. I'm going to pack it up and ignore for the time being, at least until I'm ready to integrate the stuff into my own home/drawers etc.

I had a look at the TOMM app today. Not sure I've got the stamina for the full boot camp but I can certainly give a good hour - 90 mins a night until its done.

There's an event I want to host in the summer, that's my deadline now, just need to hope that I have no more catastrophies in the next 8 weeks!

Thanks all!

I think if you're struggling to find time / motivation set yourself a small area or amount of time every day. E.g. one kitchen drawer per day, 2 mins each morning. Just to get the habit going. 2 min is doable even if you're not in the mood.

and I find it helps if you keep a record, listing each day's achievement. then if you miss one you feel bad! it's a good visual reminder. keep it on your desk / next to the kettle / somewhere obv you can see it during the day. you could use the time you boil the kettle each day to do some decluttering!

Make yourself do 10 minutes quick tidying away RIGHT NOW!

Remember that your mum's belongings won't remind you of the past and that your brain will do that for you. You don't need to hold onto everything.

You can't carry stuff around from the past. Anything someone can make use of give it to them. Anything that isn't useful bin it. Keep essential and absolutely cherished possessions only 👍🏼