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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Firing the cleaner - am I too picky?

21 replies

PartyintheKitchen · 30/03/2022 11:49

I've just fired my cleaner and I feel terrible and need to share to make sure I'm not BU. She has been with us for 5 years and has always been an ok cleaner, not amazing but ok. She is very sweet, reliable and trustworthy. I had some time off over the last 6 months and as I had time to pay some attention I realised she was a bit meh. So I had a chat (via text - her English is pretty much zero) and asked her to change afew bits and she hasn't really taken it onboard. Some examples: (1) not to water(or kill) the houseplants - I have had to throw out a number of plants over the years as they rotted from her severe overwatering (2) not to vacuum the skirting boards with the hard edge of the vacuum cleaner - she has marked every single wall and skirting board in the house by doing this every week. We only moved in 3 years ago to fresh house and already the paintwork on every single skirting board and wall needs to be redone because of this (3) the floors are regularly left dirty even though she vacuums them - I don't know how she manages to push dirt about? Then the dirty floors are lightly mopped (4) loos are not wiped down on the outside. I have small boys who are not great at peeing "in" to the toilet and so this is a key need on a weekly basis. I realised when the kids loo was a bit stinky that she just ignores this (5) she doesn't wipe down the table or counter properly, just a light wipe (how do you even do that?) (6) she puts away dirty chopping boards in the the cupboard - as in breakfast dirty, crumbs, jam - it was generally the only thing left out from breakfast each week as we would have everything else tidied away by the time she came so that she could "clean not tidy".

It had come to the stage where I was cleaning up after her each week to get to the level of clean I wanted. I am not too up my own backside to clean, but I am too knackered from a busy job and 3 kids. This is my payment to me each week to get some rest from the neverending task that is housework. My husband does a lot of things but cleaning is not his forte. If I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done really and the house would be a pigsty. Over the last 5 years we have paid her religiously, even in lockdown when she couldn't come (for months) to make sure she wasn't out of pocket. I recommended her to a friend who was desperate for a cleaner and she only lasted a week as my friend who I trust simply said "she's crap". I have had enough. She doesn't speak English so I texted her to tell her - shitty I know but we always communicate via text as otherwise it's impossible to communicate. I offered her 2 weeks payment to cover her for a bit. I think that's reasonable as she's a service provider not an employee.

Am I terrible? Should I just stay with reliable and trustworthy and suck up the issues? We're just over covid (all 5 of us at once) and I'm so knackered I don't know if I'm being too picky or unreasonable and feeling quite emotional about all of this.

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TopCatsTopHat · 30/03/2022 11:53

Sensible decision respectfully enacted for sound reasons imo.
It's tricky employing other people, so many possible pitfalls, this is why people look after a good one when they find one!
Let's hope your next one is reliable and effective... Who has your friend ended up with?

RebeccaCloud9 · 30/03/2022 11:54

It sounds like she was rubbish and not doing the job you were paying her for. You asked her, with specifics, to improve, and she didn't. Don't feel bad.

toastfiend · 30/03/2022 11:56

She's providing a service and the service isn't up to standard. I'm about to get rid of ours for the same reason - I feel a bit bad, but I've given feedback and opportunities to rectify issues several times, which haven't been taken, and I wouldn't expect to keep my job in this situation if I persistently performed below expectations.

If you feel that awful then give her a month's notice to find something else, as you might in another role, it doesn't sound like you're contractually obliged to, though, so depends how much you want to help her out.

Jillyfernilly · 30/03/2022 11:57

Sounds sensible. I struggle without a cleaner but my last one and i parted ways after she kept leaving my flat partially unlocked and the lights on.

For security reasons I never told her when I was travelling (which pre-covid was frequently) so I was unhappy about the impact on my flat security and electricity bill as potentially all the lights could be on for a week!

PegasusReturns · 30/03/2022 12:01

Sensible and texting if she doesn’t speak English is fine.

You are however now going to invoke the wrath of the “how dare you leave your cleaner with a toilet anything other than immaculate” crowd. Good luck.

Dancingmoonlight · 30/03/2022 12:24

Bit confused about why you mentioned she didn’t speak English twice?

PartyintheKitchen · 30/03/2022 12:24

Thanks so much for responses, feel like I'm on the ropes this past few weeks with covid and you know - probably not the best time to fire the cleaner but I'm just fed up.

Friend's cleaner is coming for a trial this week, she sings her praises so fingers crossed she is good.

@PegasusReturns I don't understand - will I upset MNetters about my toilet cleaning reqs? Confused

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PartyintheKitchen · 30/03/2022 12:25

@Dancingmoonlight no reason, just repeating myself without thinking to be honest!

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girlmom21 · 30/03/2022 12:28

You're paying her to clean and she's not cleaning. You need a cleaner who will or you're just throwing your money away.

rookiemere · 30/03/2022 12:35

We have had cleaners and it's one of those things where either the person is intrinsically a good cleaner or they're not. In this case I wouldn't say what she's doing is dreadful, but it's not working for you so I'd part ways.

TabithaTittlemouse · 30/03/2022 13:11

I think mentioning the English thing is because it was done by text.
If she was an English speaker- not ok. She’s not so it’s sensible.

You aren’t getting what you are paying for so I wouldn’t worry op.

BlingLoving · 30/03/2022 13:16

Unless you're paying her £5/h for 3 hours and live in a 5 bedroom house with 3 reception rooms.... YANBU.

The problem with cleaners is that it's an intimate relationship by nature, which makes it difficult to fire them etc. But at the same time, that same level of intimacy means that if it's not working for you it impacts you very heavily.

I probably need to have a slightly tough conversation with my cleaner and I'm dreading it for all the reasons above. Today will be a lighter version of the tough conversation. But if things don't improve it will be the tougher conversation.

timestheyarechanging · 30/03/2022 13:20

You've done the right thing, don't feel bad. I had an amazing cleaner for years and recommended her to a (school mum) friend who wanted her to work 10hrs a week and also do baby sitting - so she sacked me as I only had her for 3hrs a week! The one after that was rubbish - I think she just sprayed cleaner and poured bleach around to make the house stink but not cleaned properly. I was too much of a coward to tell her I didn't need her anymore so got a friend to pretend she was me and fire her!
I then split from my husband, couldn't afford a cleaner and now have to do it all myself!

PartyintheKitchen · 30/03/2022 13:40

@timestheyarechanging absolute nightmare to lose your amazing cleaner to your friend like that.

@BlingLoving nope, I pay her £50 for 3 hours a week, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. I think it's enough time as we don't have a ginormous house. Also she doesn't clean the sitting room to allow her focus on bathrooms and kitchen which I have said to her on many occassions.

The intimacy comment is very true, she's very familiar with my kids and always has a sit down + coffee which I make her each week. I think it has got to the stage where I feel I'm working for her a bit and I'm resentful as I feel I'm always minding everyone (kids, my own parents, dh to some extent) - even though she's not dreadful as @rookiemere says. I just want someone to do what they say they will do without the guilt. Maybe that's impossible.

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BlingLoving · 30/03/2022 13:53

I'm resentful as I feel I'm always minding everyone (kids, my own parents, dh to some extent) - even though she's not dreadful as @rookiemere says. I just want someone to do what they say they will do without the guilt. Maybe that's impossible.

Oh my word, I think this is what it comes down to. such a good way to express it. Maybe that's why I love my ironing lady so much - she improves MY life with very little effort from me. And she's completely reliable.

I nearly started a thread earlier about how much I hate the fact that I LOVE Amazon. And it's the above - they do what they say they will do, in a way that is easy for convenient for me and that makes my life easier. So I can' t help it, I love them. I've just started using their Morrisons delivery - same day delivery, free, cheaper and reliable.

BlingLoving · 30/03/2022 13:56

Sorry, just to go on a bit - it's also about for once not being the person who needs to be considerate and compromising. When you're tiptoeing around your cleaners feelings, even though they're doing a bad job, that's what you feel.

Thanks for helping me work through this for me too. I just had DH storm out of here obviously furious (not with me but with world in general) because he forgot cleaner is coming today and he hates being here when she is and he wanted to shower and now feels he can't. And I found myself yelling at the closed door, "yeah, cos I just LOVE managing the cleaner AND working. SO MUCH FUN."

PartyintheKitchen · 30/03/2022 14:33

Yes there's something about a clean efficient "does what it says on the tin" service. I really understand why Amazon is top dog for you. I'm not sure if a cleaner will ever have that?

My DH is similar ilk. I manage so much of the household jobs/scheduling and he knows it. I've asked him to sit with me and go through all of the jobs we both do so that we have a more equitable spread of tasks between us. I earn the same as him, am as busy as him at work - why do I take on 50% more at home? It will change as I'm not accepting it anymore. Anyways, that is a work in progress but he's up for it. Neither of us like the day the cleaner comes as we can't relax at home (where we both work) but it's worth it!

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MrsGatsby99 · 31/03/2022 06:43

You weren’t unreasonable. You gave her time to improve and unfortunately she didn’t take it on board. I wish I had been like this years ago when I had a truly awful cleaner. I got so involved in her life and problems that it was hard to be honest. The final straw was when she left without locking the house and we live in a busy city, not the safest area.

PegasusReturns · 31/03/2022 13:59

I don't understand - will I upset MNetters about my toilet cleaning reqs?

Indeed there’s a very vocal contingent who think that asking a cleaner to clean your toilet is disgusting and if you do require a cleaner to clean your toilet you should at least ensure it’s clean. People are weird

BlooberryBiskits · 31/03/2022 15:54

YANBU at all, and you were paying over the odds too (I live in London, £13-15 is going rate).

She is careless with your home & doesn't clean well - why do you feel bad?

I've had about 10 cleaners, half were hopeless and lasted a few weeks, 1 was amazing (but went home to her country Sad , rest average. I think many cleaners get bored after a year or 2 and stop trying hard too so standards drop

PartyintheKitchen · 01/04/2022 13:46

Thanks everyone, I feel a lot better about the decision having had your responses. I was neverly massivly involved in her life but I could feel her need for this from me and perhaps that is what pipped it for me in the end. I have enough to worry about. Like most women my age, I have a busy job, 3 busy kids, and my parents aren't in the best of shape. A semi-good/bad cleaner's issues are not part of the deal.

I had my firend's cleaner trial this week and she's great, very thorough and she has agreed to come each week. Hurrah.

In non-hurrah news my wonderful childminder has handed in her notice - I think it's cleaner-karma coming to kick my butt. It never ends does it. Sad

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