Realistic books/resources on decluttering?

[Justkoko]

I've read a lot of the usual stuff, Marie Kondo etc. But what bothers me a bit is the potential to be wasteful. If you haven't worn/used it in 6 months then get rid of it. It's a bit...harsh? I've got things that I hope to slim into, items I'd really like to wear again so they are going in vac bags in the loft so I can shop my wardrobe in the future and naturally get rid of things that aren't for me anymore.

I'd love to know a bit more about any reading anyone can suggest about decluttering a little bit more mindfully and without suggesting that the best way is to get rid of just about everything. I think a gentler version of minimalism is more workable for me, in that I can slowly chip away at reducing the items in my home. I'm finding I am getting better at it, but still worry about causing regret by getting rid of things.

Anyone know of any resources for the above please?

I think it’s tricky. In my experience, things like ‘oh it doesn’t fit me but I’m going to lose weight’ is an excuse people use not to declutter. Obviously if it’s only been a short time/you’ve just had a baby etc, but when I cleared out I had things I hadn’t worn in years that I said I would ‘slim into.’ And yet I’d say I had nothing to wear!

Can you time label things? So maybe separate the things that don’t fit and say ‘okay I will give myself six months and if they still don’t fit me I will donate them’ and label them with that date.

Also maybe sell some items? I feel much happier selling things than throwing them away, because I feel an achievement. I sold some items on gumtree recently.

Giving to a good cause too. After my last dd (definitely not having more) I only kept a few sentimental items and packed up good condition clothing and toys and gave them to the sheltered accommodation I lived in when I had my son. I had really struggled getting rid of them but I was so happy to think someone in the situation I was in would get nice, well cared for items. Often the donated items are scruffy etc. Obviously it’s still good to have them when you have nothing else, but it means a lot to have something nice.

I have 'winter clothes' and 'summer clothes'. When it's cold, the summer clothes are vacuum packed and put in the loft and the same when the weather warms up. When it comes to swapping the bags, I look at each item. Will I wear it again? No - charity shop or sell it. Does it fit? No, put it in the opposite bag and when the time comes to swap it, if it still doesn't fit, sell or donate.

I do have more bags than necessary but each one has a purpose so I keep them.

Footwear - I have a DM obsession so I do have quite a few! However, when I buy a new pair, another piece of footwear has to go.

I'm a HUGE charity shop/second hand addict. I used to feel so sentimental about donating stuff until I realised if everybody has that mindset, I would have nothing to buy

It sounds like you want an excuse not to declutter. How long have you had the jeans you are going to diet into? Are you currently actually losing weight?

There is two sides of decluttering. One is getting rid of things and the other is not bringing more stuff into your home.

@Duracellbunnywannabe

It sounds like you want an excuse not to declutter. How long have you had the jeans you are going to diet into? Are you currently actually losing weight?

There is two sides of decluttering. One is getting rid of things and the other is not bringing more stuff into your home.

Absolutely - and this is where Marie Kondo works for many. It tackles the root causes to stop more clutter coming in.

Honestly, keeping hold of old things to “shop your wardrobe” at a later date is just keeping stuff you don’t wear! If/when you lose weight those things may not fit, suit or spark joy! Do Marie Kondo again ruthlessly and don’t think of it as chucking out, but keeping - that’s the essence of it.

Becoming minimalist website or fb page with Joshua Becker has some effective points of view. For example he suggests that all the things you have were 'bought' with your time rather than with money - as we have the donate the time at work to get the money to buy them.

I think the big thing with Marie kondo is finding it difficult to translate the 'sparking joy' feeling. Some things will spark joy because they are sentimental but may never fit again or they are just out of style, other things are just practical so not especially joyful, but definitely appreciated and necessary.
I'm dreading regret and just can't make decisions for some reason!

Seriously, at this point you don’t need to buy another book that will just be an extra bit of clutter, you need to pass some things onto new homes. If you are sentimental about everything, imagine the things are alive like in Toy Story and pass them onto new more exciting bits of their story than gradually decomposing in a box in your house. If you are worried about waste, pass good condition items to others to use and recycle anything else you can before worrying about what to do with the very few tatty items left after that. If you think things might come in handy, EBay whatever you can - with the money, you can buy exactly the thing you need in future and money tends to come in handiest of all! If you shop too readily, imagine you have already bought everything you like and are just storing it for free at Hobbycraft/B&M/Whatever until you want to use it - if you need to use something soon you can buy it (call it from your warehouse) but not otherwise. Etc. I’d also recommend boxing up everything you don’t use much as if you are moving house and only get it out if you need it - you don’t lose control as nothing leaves the house without your say-so, but it lets you get used to living with only the things you actually use, and afterwards (if you leave it tears not months) you may go back to the boxes and not want all that random old stuff cluttering up your streamlined home anymore.

(Obviously leave it years, not tears - the idea is to avoid tears here!)

I agree with the ‘sparking joy’ thing - it didn’t work for me. But as I said something like separating clothing by the last time you wore it worked wonders for me. If it hadn’t fit you/you haven’t worn it for 4 years, are you really going to lose weight and wear it now?

If the spark joy doesn't work for you, try it the other other way round as per the minimalists. "If this item was to spontaneously combust how would I feel?" This works for me a lot of the time as we often we keep things out of guilt. And my answer is usually relief. Also start getting rid of duplicates as that is easy. "I have 3 umbrellas which one is my favourite". Then the container principle is helpful. This is my wardrobe and the only place I have for clothes, when that container is full I can't buy more clothes without getting rid of something. Try not to stuff things in other random places round the house. Have a place for everything that makes sense aesthetically and ergonomically and it will make life so much easier. The more you declutter the easier the process becomes and the more you see the benefit. Mainly less cleaning and more time!!

If clothes are too tricky for you to start with then choose an easier category. Rather than spark joy, try looking at all your things from the perspective that they are all going and which do you want to keep - if it was in a shop would you buy it again today.

A slob comes clean (who talks about the container concept mentioned by a pp) has lots of podcasts you can listen to & videos on YouTube which help to make sense of the mess and I listen to those as I declutter and clean, or to give me inspiration to do so.

^try it the other other way round as per the minimalists. "If this item was to spontaneously combust how would I feel?"^

This. I need better ways to reframe it. I'm sure there are lots of things I'd be comfortable without.

It's just feeling wasteful that gets in the way.
If I can get even a few pounds back for some of the better things I'd probably feel better about it, like I hadn't totally lost all this 'stuff'. I don't have loads of money to waste just like anyone else. I buy very little these days, I used to buy too much in years gone by.

I have found The Minimal Mum videos on youtube really helpful.

You need to accept that money had already gone. It went when you bought the stuff.