House full of clutter and toys

[Tiredmumclub]

I was just hoping to vent and maybe chat to someone else about this subject that's really affecting me. My house is of average size and I have two small children with a lot of toys.
I seem to have the most amount of laundry in the entire world for some reason. There is always toys everywhere and little tiny bits off of toys. Always dishes to wash up/ dishwasher to load and I work 40 hours a week. The house makes me so anxious but I can't seem to break the cycle of being perpetually tired after doing my 40 hours, making the dinner and doing the bed time routine. I just feel like absolute rubbish and totally overwhelmed so I end up leaving it. How does everyone do this? When I go to other peoples homes it's really clean and organised and they know where everything is, and there isn't mountains of washing in every room- what am I doing wrong. We wear the clothes we have and the kids play with the toys they own. If I have a clear out I'd be throwing things away that we use. Just don't know how I've ended up in such a state.

I’m the same! I only work 2 days a week but activities for the kids take up most of my days off so I still don’t get anything done.

We also have so much stuff that even if I do tidy it’s just ruined again instantly as they get things out.

We wear the clothes we have and the kids play with the toys they own. If I have a clear out I'd be throwing things away that we use

You may still have too many items though. We minimised and it made so much difference. We cut back to, for example, four large dinner plates, four bowls, eight medium plates.

How many of each item e.g. soft toys, trousers, forks, tea towels do you have vs do you need? It all takes storage space.

I find minimising soothing. I have what I need, the house is tidy and easy to keep clean.

@Tiredmumclub it sounds better than it is, trust me! But I would say that you have to start and then carry on iykwim because if you don't you'll drown!!

You have way too much stuff. I cleared a bin bag of soft toys before Christmas. Going to get rid of another smaller bag this week.

Then I will buy a bean bag cover to store the rest. I gave lots of the big plastic toys away.
Will sell some

Just do it op!!! It will make your life so much better.

Storage and lots of it, had cupboards built either side of the chimney breast, bought him a midsleeper bed with storage underneath, tidy up time every evening before dinner including DC, I got some big heavy fabric boxes so there's one with brio/trains, one with wooden toys and role play stuff, one with arts and crafts etc. One or two boxes out at a time and if he wants more out I've gets put away. We've got one of those lockable plastic storage units in the back garden with his scooter, bike, little tikes car etc in. Hooks and shoe racks in the cupboard under the stairs. Everything has a place for it to go, so closing away is easier. We also got a robot hoover last year which is great motivation to pick up and get DS to, quick the robot is going off soon and he'll suck up those toys...

I am also brutal about crappy plastic toys with tiny bits, family etc are well aware of this. I'm just not having that junk in my house, DS has lots of toys, games and books he doesn't need magazines with little bits of plastic etc, my DNs have more toys than a toy shop and nothing is intact, every set, game etc has bits missing, hundreds of pounds of things like LOL dolls that just get lost and rarely played with and their dining room now has the table up against a wall and there are just toys everywhere, it's unnecessary. I work full time and so does DH, so if it gets behind there's no time to catch up. We have wooden floors downstairs and are strict about whether things like painting/play doh are done (dining table with oil cloth on the floor or on play table that has wipeable silicone cover) or DS would have it trampled all over in no time. Same as no eating/snacks on the sofas. If they're not there they can't make it a mess.

Feel the pain too. I hate dealing with this shit. Christmas slightly ruined for me because the sitting room (only decent-sized room in our house) looked like a bomb had gone off in a charity shop.
Which got me (retentive by nature) to thinking that I would pack some stuff up for the charity shop. Ended up with three small bags for Oxfam and three large ones of rubbish (puzzles with missing parts, clothes with missing zips etc, things no one would want etc.) In the end binning it is the only solution. (This is all Marie Kondo really has to say, other than encouraging folding nicely.)

I don’t know how you do it OP (and so many others on this thread) when you work so many hours and have more than one DC to look after. Please don’t be so hard on yourself, even though I know it’s easier said than done.

I feel an abject failure on a daily basis. We have a lovely 8 month old DD, she sleeps for good chunks of time, not always at the right times but still enough time for me to sleep quite well in theory. I’m on mat leave so should have time to get things sorted. But….
House is a tip, stuff is everywhere, clothes (clean) piled up, mountains of laundry to do every day even though there is only 3 of us. No decent storage anywhere. What storage we do have is crammed full with seemingly no time to sort it out otherwise other essential daily jobs get left behind. No spare money to get more storage.

I’ve realised now that my chronic slowness at completing tasks which has been a lifelong thing is a huge problem for me now we have DD. I feel I’m letting her down and it really effects my MH. I try so hard to do things as quickly as possible but it always end up taking me twice as long as everyone else it seems. So the time I have to do things is just enough to do the daily essentials and all other stuff keeps getting left. I need to sleep when DD sleeps as much as possible otherwise I don’t feel safe looking after her, it’s all a total catch 22.

I feel your despair OP even though I have much less on my plate than you. You’ve had some great ideas on this thread. I’m going to try and use some of them myself.
Keep your chin up OP, that’s what I’m going to try and do.

To anyone struggling please watch Joshua Becker's youtube videos (I mention him a lot but he changed my life).

He doesn't prattle on like a lot of youtubers. He is clear, concise and to the point. And wonderfully encouraging.

Don't buy more storage until you know what you actually want to keep.

If you're short of time, pick one small space to sort and you will see the difference. Mine was our batteries drawer. Was full of different sized batteries and random junk. Now it just has batteries sorted into boxes (old swimming goggles boxes ) and is a joy to open. It could fit twice as much in it but I don't need it to and it remains tidy and neat.

I also did my coats very early on. I had 9 and got down to 5, each one performing a different function. So I also reduced my decision making. No more "this autumn coat or that one?" There is only one so I grab that and go. And the coat cupboard is emptier making i easier to get at everything in there.

What does DH do OP?

If there are two adults in the house, the only way you’re going to sort this is with teamwork.

We have set tasks, for example DH will buy all of the food and cook all of the meals and does all of the finances / life admin. I do cleaning, tidy up after meals, organisation and we split laundry.

Agree with PP that reducing stuff will help too. Marie Kondo method takes AGES but is worth it in the end. There’s a website called Neat Little Nest that has a huge declutter checklist you can get via email, which she has based on the Kon Marie method.

In the end binning it is the only solution. (This is all Marie Kondo really has to say, other than encouraging folding nicely.) This made me

Another tip is STOP bringing new things into the house. This saves time: no shopping (including online), no deliveries to fetch, no new things to find space for, no packaging to get rid of.

Stop buying stuff, just STOP
Pass on anything and everything that doesn’t fit, wrong season or worn out
Baskets for toys in every room, chuck out anything broken or missing a part
Purge as you go.
Ten or twenty minutes a day, put in headphones, be decisive

Too much stuff drives me mad, I live with teenage hoarders. They can keep what they want in their rooms, now I have no control over it!

@HelloDulling

That feeling of overwhelm is so horribly suffocating.

Do you have space in your house to store things? Can you put half the toys away for a month, then swap over?

And with clothes, small children really only need a few changes of outfit. More than that could go to charity, and when they go up a side, DON’T BUY SO MUCH!

If you have less stuff, you’ll have less to do.

Yeah every item is a job waiting to be managed.

I used to feel like this and basically the kids grew up and a lot of the stuff stress sorted itself out. Everything fits in their rooms just fine now. So there is hope! You will need to gradually move toys on to their next home but over time they wont get replaced.

Washing isnt meant to ever be done so if you go round someones house and its not out, they havent done it because youbare coming round and will do double the next day. I dry it in my room with a dehumidifier in there so its not hanging around the whole house too.

Thank you to everyone who has replied. I feel like a weight has been lifted by hearing that I am not alone.
Since I posted this I have got a new large sideboard that is arriving next week. I have watched loads of Joshua Becker videos about clothes and de cluttering and I have been to the tip and worked my way through the soft toys and done a charity shop drop off.
So many good ideas and suggestions and support. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Well done OP that's brilliant!