Swedish clean

[DaisyNGO]

I'm not dying

Just wondered if anyone had done this.

Reason - limited living space and feeling overwhelmed.

My DP and my sister are the sorts of people who live so minimally. It would make a huge difference if I could get rid of stuff, like to the point there's actual furniture we could get rid of.

Also curious, psychologically, has anyone found that doing this type of thing makes them feel better about a smaller living space?

Any general advice welcome. I admit, I have had times of regret at getting rid of certain things but now I think I am past that stage.

Op. Stop clutching your tiny violin. Take a photo, pop it in a charity bag. No-one needs to keep it. And if you DESPERATELY do, put it in a box frame and put it on the wall so you can admire it forever.
If you are able to get back to hiking, you can buy new ones - don't hang onto things because of the sunk cost fallacy, that's why my marriage lasted as long as it did ;)

I need to tell my parents about this death clean.

@MrsPleasant

Op. Stop clutching your tiny violin. Take a photo, pop it in a charity bag. No-one needs to keep it. And if you DESPERATELY do, put it in a box frame and put it on the wall so you can admire it forever. If you are able to get back to hiking, you can buy new ones - don't hang onto things because of the sunk cost fallacy, that's why my marriage lasted as long as it did ;)

Hahahaha 'sunk cost marriage'. Hahahahahaha. You win mumsnet. How many of us can relate to that?!!

MrsP - I love my tiny violin!

No seriously, re-buying things is not an option, so the boots will have to be stored at my folks.

@userxx

I need to tell my parents about this death clean.

Ooh maybe not I haven't told mine. Are you worried you will be filling skips with stuff?

We're in the process of doing this after dh had a health scare that shook us up sufficiently enough to think about sorting paper work etc and being aware of what we will leave behind. It's very therapeutic.

@DaisyNGO I'll need to buy shares in a skip company!! To be fair they did a massive clear out when they downsized, the only problem is they downsized to a 3 bed detached so still plenty of room to fill with shite 🙈

Here to recommend the minimal mom march motivation series on YouTube, also features the same youtuber mentioned in pp, but also many other vids on Swedish death cleaning. Very motivating and inspiring when youve blizted the easy stuff but get stuck on more sentimental things

Over the past few years me and my DH had accumulated so much stuff, two merged households and stuff from relatives who had died. We’ve just gone through a major building project and we had no alternative but to finally declutter. My DH isn’t good at this but I did it cupboard by cupboard and box by box over the 9 months prior to the start of the building work. I spent 4-6 hours each weekend sorting stuff out - bought lots of big plastic boxes with snap lids and a label maker to store the stuff I wanted to keep. Duplicates or never/rarely used items were disposed of.

Excess furniture and household items were sent to charity or put on the local freecycle site. We took a boot full a month of stuff that was no good to our local tip - electrical stuff, textiles, cardboard, bits of wood - so that it was recycled properly. CDs were sent to music magpie. Good clothes I would never wear again went on Vinted.

Unexpectedly my hoarder DH really got into freecycling and has loved the thought that stuff is not going to landfill and will be used by other people. Sure some people may be just selling it online but good luck to them.

Most people were really pleased to pick up something useful for free, some offered services in return like window cleaning after our work finishes, or offered plants for our garden. We got to know people from the area we hadn’t met before and I feel so much calmer without all the stuff we didn’t use or need. It was very therapeutic and I couldn’t believe how good I felt afterwards.

Now our work is nearly finished, I’m really looking forward to getting the stuff I’ve kept out and if it doesn’t fit, it’ll go on freecycle.

I would say start small, but keep going. It’s one if the best things I’ve ever done for myself. My only regret is that I didn’t do this years ago.

Thanks for sharing

I thought this was a really good no nonsense way to motivate me, then
I woke up and looked at the mess on my bedside table and just sighed.

Laziness and lack of routine are things I need to work on too. But I will get the clean done first.

There’s a really good challenge where you get rid of 1 item on the first of the month, 2 on the 2nd, 3 on the 3rd, and so on and so forth. I’m sure there’s a current thread somewhere on here that you could jump on to for some inspiration and momentum (I’ll have a look if I can find it). I’m going to do that starting January 1st.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule

There’s a really good challenge where you get rid of 1 item on the first of the month, 2 on the 2nd, 3 on the 3rd, and so on and so forth. I’m sure there’s a current thread somewhere on here that you could jump on to for some inspiration and momentum (I’ll have a look if I can find it). I’m going to do that starting January 1st.

That's not right for me but I hope you like it.

The goal here is to be done a few days before Xmas, so things can be taken to parents shed when we go there, then we get back and do a bunch of decorating while DP is off work so the flat is ready for sale in New Year.

Today isn't much use as we have some Xmas things to take DC to, and when I get back I'll be too tired, but i've left a load of paperwork out to sort. There's a lot of work stuff in there from 20 years ago which will be totally irrelevant now. Tomorrow hoping for a big day of attacking it all.

Thanks! It sounds like you’re going to be best off just starting small - one small area/one hour’s work/one box-bag-drawer etc. Then it’s likely the motivation will increase as you start to see progress.

Have you found that the death cleaning is the approach that resonates most with you, then?

On paperwork - oh my goodness I just recently got through about 12 years’ worth and wow it felt good not to have that physical and mental burden anymore! Good luck with it.

I haven't heard of this specifically, but having had to clear out my parents home a couple of years back, I really don't want DS to have the same experience I did.

This has made me quite determined to get on top of all my paperwork and bits & bobs I really don't have a use for. DH is very minimalistic, it's just my stuff . I could do with taking some time off work and devoting a couple of days to it .

One thing DH and I were both determined about was not to bring additional stuff into our home that we didn't really need from our respective parents' homes.

I always try and keep my house ‘ death ready’. It sounds morbid, and I’m in my 30s. But If I was to be hit by a car tomorrow and leave my dh or child the burden or clearing out stuff, I would hate it.

My parents keep everything just in case. They take about all the value of collectible random books and stuff they have piled high that we will inherit. Sorry but it’s just a mess. They can’t even use the house to live properly for today. If they died tomorrow I would just invite a charity in to take whatever they want to someone who actually uses it.

Those hiking boots, why keep? You haven’t used for 3+ years and health reasons mean not using right now. Realistically they could have been donated and used by someone who really needed them. By moving from yours to your parents space your just moving the burden.

I read the book after hearing about it from here. It's a lovely book, a reflection on life & things.

I've very gently started sorting my stuff out since. Big house, lots of stuff, was dreaming about being on a train & having too many bags & boxes, so definitely time for some work on this.

So pleased my adult children don’t want to leave their unwanted stuff here. (I only just have enough room for my own!)

@AtlasPine

So pleased my adult children don’t want to leave their unwanted stuff here. (I only just have enough room for my own!)

My parents have encouraged me but they are like me - if they had to buy it again later, they'd kick themselves. Or I am like them, lol.

They have got space.

Re the boots, the doctor would certainly say hiking is quite possible for the future and I don't want to fork out another £100.

It's been really interesting hearing everyone's perspective, thank you.

I think I've got a better handle on the possible and the probable future, which helps in knowing what to keep.

I gave my mum the book to read after me. She lives in a very cluttered house. She liked it too and read bits out to other family members, who also could do with a bit of sorting.

I hesitated but she's the same age as the author, so I thought she'd like it.

I toyed with the idea of being a digital nomad about a decade ago, just suiting ourselves about where we went in a motorhome.

Had to revise all the plans when life took a very different, although rewarding, turn. Now the idea of the Swedish death clean is most appropriate. I don't find it at all morbid; it helps me focus. I'm trying to fit all my personal things into one room, with everything else being for the family as a whole.

We are in the middle of a declutter. We are in our 30s with young kids so not really death preparation but wanting to make living better. DH is resigned to the fact he will need to pay for someone to come and empty his parents properties. I’m going to help my Dad sort out his junk room in January and I’m hoping not to end up bringing much of it back to ours.

The death clean.

Yes, I'm planning on doing this quite soon as I'm no spring chicken and given the number of people I know (many younger than me) who have died recently, I just want to simplify everything for my kids after I'm gone instead of them having to sift through all my shit.

I used to volunteer in charity shops and it was absolutely heartbreaking to see the stuff coming in when someone had died. CD and DVD collections, clothing and personal effects, crockery, cutlery, all manner of furniture and ornaments. The family were going through so much grief anyway, and then having to clear their loved ones homes.

I don't want my kids having to dump cardboard boxloads of my stuff in the local charity shop, so I'm clearing it all myself before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

There's a lovely sense of freedom to it to. Shit you've carted around for decades and you look at it and realise, it's actually meaningless to anyone else but you.