Had the dreaded unexpected visitor today whilst my house was a absolute tip

[IncessantNameChanger]

I could die of shame. Bags of sorted clothes to charity on the floor. Not a single sofa clear of coats/ mail/ toys. Table an explosion of random mess. Shoes on in living floor where they was taken off. Toys everywhere.

Then the horror of the question "can I use your loo?"

I have started a thread on my suddenly worsening health and having tests last week for suspected heart failure. I dont know yet what wrong. But I'm so fatigued and breathless and have 4 kids under 18.

Today I had a job interview then took my car to be serviced in a city about ten miles away and had to walk three miles to get the train home. I got back a hour before the school run so just ate lunch and hovered my teens bedroom.

I haven't kept on top of the housework since the kids went back to school. I didnt carry on with my decluttering over the summer. I use team TOM but feeling so tired that's been shelved beyound the daily jobs.

The shame today suddenly opened my eyes to my mess. I know I have to find some energy to tackle this tomorrow now.

Anyone ever been in the situation where they just want the floor to swallow them up? We have a disability socail worker for my disabled child and if they turned up unexpectedly today they would be concerned if I'm honest. Luckily they know what its normally like.

I definitely have selective blindness some months. I cant believe it's only taken two weeks of being ill to descend into utter chaos.

OP. Breathe. A true friend or family member will not have cared ❤️ You sound like you have a lot on your plate. Sending you very unmumsnetty hugs

Hopefully I can make you feel better OP
I am single Mum to dd with additional needs and a few years ago life was just overwhelming.
I had a deadline for a piece of work and had worked at night for the last week to get it done so the house was abominable!! It's normally pretty "lived in" but this was beyond that.

I dashed to work on Friday(taking dd to school en route) to get report in on time and thought I could breathe a sigh of relief and catch up at the weekend. Only to come home from work to find a note from my neighbour saying I'd left the front door open so she'd gone to get neighbour 2 to come in and make sure we were OK.....
They had gone into every room to check 😱

I still cringe to this day, but can at least now I can laugh too (and hope it helps)

Thank you both. I have been doing my dds DLA form and I'm also doing a SEN tribunal for her so I keep thinking " just throw yourself into what's the most important thing now" like endless medical tests, dla, tribunal evidence and next week tackle the house a fresh after summer.

I was telling my teen to get the washing basket and pick up his random socks but I couldnt see the mess downstairs right in front of me.

@LublinToDublin i had someone from Dhs work wake me up one morning as dh had a terrible accident at work. Lots of people turned up that day and my bedroom was a tip. Luckily dh was ok by a miracle and I still think of the shock AND that the house wasnt tidy. It was summer holidays and we seem to go feral then.

Hold your head high - you are doing an awesome job!

I can't imagine the shock you must have had when woken to such scary news. It's a good one to keep in mind when feeling shame about stuff that ultimately does NOT matter.
Getting dc's education right and supporting your family is more than a full time lead

Load not lead

You didn't invite them so they have to take your house how it is.

OP sounds like you've got lots going on.
Bite sized chunks for the house but be kind to yourself, put your health and well-being first.

You are doing a great job in very challenging circumstances. it really isn't easy for you at all

In those circumstances, it was a kindness for you to agree to someone using your loo. I am absolutely sure they would have been so grateful and wouldn't have given a second thought to the state of your house.

Give yourself a pay on the back, rather than judging yourself for not having the house in an immaculate showroom stage.

I spent a good few hours today tidying up. It was very scatter gunned approach so I hovered upstairs. Cleared and thinned out one childs wardrobe. Tipped out half the toys and sorted. Hovered downstairs and cleared the sofa.

When kids went to bed it took ten minutes to get how as it was just before they got home. Feeling better about it now.

I have had my second lot of blood tests si hopefully I am a bit closer to finding out what's wrong with me feeling so tired.

Hopefully if the house is back to passable by Friday I am back at maintenance level. So while it descended into chaos very quickly, I think it should be quick to put straight. It's so hard when it's bad as you cant see how to start. I think just doing the places that bovered me the most today was a quick win.

We are going away for half term so rather than make a mess in that holiday I might hire a cleaner to do a deep clean!