Do I need a housekeeper?

[KatyNana]

Sorry, bit long.

Fairly large 5-bed house in London, there's four of us living here including two kids aged 4 and 6.

We both work full-time, and make use of after-school clubs and a little grandparent time for childcare.

We have a cleaner who comes for 3hrs/week. This is enough for kitchen/bathrooms, hoovering most rooms, and sometimes changing the beds.

However, I find we just cannot keep the house looking clean and tidy at all. There's so much paperwork, school stuff brought home, clothes and toys left everywhere, art projects, bags half unpacked, laundry not yet put away etc etc. Surfaces and sometimes floors are a mess.

We get half way through and then kids, work or the need to collapse in front of the TV for an hour get in the way.

So, do we need a housekeeper for a few hours a week? It's not cleaning it's really tidying and organising and putting laundry away.

However, I'm a bit concerned about whether someone else would know where things go, whether this is what a housekeeper even does, and also unsure about the privacy aspect - someone dealing with all the stuff like paperwork and clothes I feel is more private.

What to do?

Oh! I also feel weird about this because I feel we should be able to handle it ourselves. And also that the kids shouldn't grow up thinking someone else is going to clear up after them. But also a calm tidy home would be amazing.

I think paperwork should be dealt with by you.

As for the rest, I wonder if a nanny would be more suitable...then you could do away with the after-school clubs. Nannies don't really do heavy housework but I think they do general tidying and organising of the kids stuff and as your DC are in school, I wonder if you could incorporate general tidying and light cleaning duties into their day?

Just a thought...

3 hours isn't enough, unless you're doing cleaning as well during the week. 4 hours at least will mean it's a deeper clean with time for a bit of tidying, or 5 hours including laundry (maybe stripping and remaking the kid's beds on arrival and putting the dirty things in the wash, then hanging them up/tumble-drying, plus also sorting out a previous load and maybe a bit of ironing if there's any time left), or use the hour to get help with another big job each week like fridge cleaning.

If you want to, you could get a few hours another maybe later in the week for a freshen up and maybe change the other bed. If you have the money, I'd suggest paying someone for half a day and asking them to come in, cook a dinner, tidy the kitchen area and maybe run a hoover downstairs, then pick up the kids from after school care and bring them home, sort bags, play/ do homework, and then either serve dinner or heat it back up so you can eat with them without cooking for once. I personally don't have the money for this, but had a couple of months with a family member staying with me, and she offered to do this once a week and it was AMAZING.

Other thing is that at 4 and 6, they're old enough to know the basics of putting their bags away neatly, taking out water bottles and snack boxes to the kitchen, keeping toys and books tidy (with a little prompting). Your life will get easier, and it's also much better to teach them young, while they're still listening!

I do housekeeping as well as cleaning.

In regards to paperwork, the family have a filing system. I file bills, bank stuff, appointments, kids stuff etc for them to read.

The lady who I housekeep/clean for took a few hours to show me around, where everything goes etc, so I knew.

I generally fold and put away everyone’s clothes, make packed lunches, sometimes prep dinner if required. I also do grocery shopping (the family have a folder of meals that they all like, so I know what to order).
I walk their dogs and sometimes pick up the younger child from school.

I also do the cleaning, ironing and will sometimes sew repairs if needed.

I work for 3 days a week, about 5-6 hours per day.

@Bookaholic73

I do housekeeping as well as cleaning.

In regards to paperwork, the family have a filing system. I file bills, bank stuff, appointments, kids stuff etc for them to read.

The lady who I housekeep/clean for took a few hours to show me around, where everything goes etc, so I knew.

I generally fold and put away everyone’s clothes, make packed lunches, sometimes prep dinner if required. I also do grocery shopping (the family have a folder of meals that they all like, so I know what to order).
I walk their dogs and sometimes pick up the younger child from school.

I also do the cleaning, ironing and will sometimes sew repairs if needed.

I work for 3 days a week, about 5-6 hours per day.

You are an actual angel.

I’d imagine you’re well paid and not doing it for philanthropic reasons, but you’re still a saint and I want one of you in my life.

Sorry, that wasn’t very helpful to the OP

OP, if day go for it. Having a cleaner/housekeeper/someone to do your ironing is just another job that’s outsourced like ordering a takeaway. If you can afford, go for it.

Definitely not an Angel, haha!

Honestly, I love my job so much. The family are lovely, treat me really well, pay nicely, and I’m respected by all of them.

Unfortunately not all of the families I’ve worked for are the same, hence why I’ve been working for this specific family for 7 years.

@Bookaholic73 that sounds incredible.

Thats 80% of the heavy lifting right there. I would love to have such a thing in my life. I only wish I could afford such a valuable service!

If you can afford it I’d recommend having a cleaner twice a week, Mondays & Fridays. Change children’s beds on Mondays, yours on Fridays. Can do ironing on Mondays so you can do washing over the weekend. You could also have a supermarket delivery on Monday so you are set up for the week, could the cleaner put it away for you? The hourly cost of the cleaner could make it worth your while.

Op, I have a full time housekeeper but I do my own admin.

I was a bit embarrassed when I first employed her but not any more.

She does almost everything for me and I just please myself as to how i’ll spend my time but my son who’s disabled is still my first priority in life.

Having my housekeeper means I can be a very hands on granny to my many grandchildren and after 20 odd years of being the sole carer to my boy I’m really enjoying having someone else think about most other things for me.

I think the ideal would be to have someone, in addition to the current cleaner, to come in for two hours during the day to make the beds, tidy up, do a load of laundry, fold/iron/put away yesterday’s laundry, clean the kitchen, walk the dog, prepare school lunches for the following day and prep dinner. That way you walk into a clean and tidy house every evening and you’re not faced with the accumulation of the previous days’ sins.

I had that for a few years when my kids were similar age as yours and it was life changing. As the kids got older I got them more involved in doing their own stuff and now I don’t need it (but I also work slightly less hours than I did then too).

Sorry just to add - without her and the carers I now have for my son we couldn’t live a normal family life and I will never be able thank them enough. They know how much I appreciate them and I can honestly say I love them as well.

I am in nowhere near your bracket but I’m planning to have something like this start. Housekeeper is too formal a title for what I am after but it’s not a cleaner I need either.

Someone to do the things like ironing, putting away clean washing, changing the sheets on the beds. Just the things that would make my life easier!

@ThePoint678

I think the ideal would be to have someone, in addition to the current cleaner, to come in for two hours during the day to make the beds, tidy up, do a load of laundry, fold/iron/put away yesterday’s laundry, clean the kitchen, walk the dog, prepare school lunches for the following day and prep dinner. That way you walk into a clean and tidy house every evening and you’re not faced with the accumulation of the previous days’ sins.

I had that for a few years when my kids were similar age as yours and it was life changing. As the kids got older I got them more involved in doing their own stuff and now I don’t need it (but I also work slightly less hours than I did then too).

There is no way that can all be done in 2 hours though, especially for a family of 4+

I wonder how much it would cost to have a housekeeper? I would absolutely love to have some help me. Is it the same sort of cost as a cleaner? So £15 per hour? Or can you employ someone on a daily or weekly basis? If I could find someone good I would absolutely pay for this service.

I don’t think 3hrs a week is long enough for cleaning. We have a cleaner for 2x 3hrs a week, and although we only have one more bedroom than you - I still don’t find that enough! We do have an amazing housekeeper who deals with all of the laundry, groceries, sometimes cooking as well so that helps. Also, we are all on the same page about the children pulling their weight in terms of tidying their things, putting washing out, etc. The latter has been the biggest help!!

I fantasise about having a housekeeper on an almost hourly basis. I’m thinking of going for a full time job, and if I get it, I’ll definitely consider it.

Thank you all this is really helpful and I'm going to think about it more tomorrow when less tired.

We have no pets, no school lunches. Kids are constantly reminded to eg put shoes away and clothes in the washing basket but they still manage of course to leave a trail of stuff everywhere. Also we don't iron anything. Either stuff goes in the dryer or hung up straight out of the machine. Beds changed every two weeks is OK by me.

Cleaning - it's true three hours is not really enough so it's quite a basic clean but we do a bit ourselves and have a robot hoover. And not particularly high standards!

Paperwork, I've ordered some filing stuff and will put a system in place.

We have both recently landed higher paying jobs (after both being made redundant during lockdown) so can afford more help. I do feel bad about needing it but should probably just get over that.

Go for it, buy more hours. I’ve learned over the years (64) that the money expended on some things gives good value in regards to time saved for other fun stuff if you know what I mean
My eldest adult son and wife in the Far East have high flying well paid jobs and 3 children under 3. They have 2 full time live in maids. The 2 maids do everything from cooking to picking the children up from nursery. When the eldest grandchild was ill last month and out of nursery for three weeks my son asked me how on earth I’d managed when him and his brothers were ill and off school. I reminded him that I was unable to work as the maths just didn’t add up so was a stay at home mum or part time until they could fend for themselves at home for a day off school sick.
Another of my adult sons employs a gardener once a fortnight to keep on top of the mowing, pruning, weeding etc as he says the outlay far more compensated for the extra family time they get at the weekends.
Make your money work for your family situation so that you can spend time doing what you want to with the children, they aren’t little for long.

Three hours a week cleaning is nowhere near enough in the circumstances you describe. Get a cleaner four times a week. One who is prepared to be flexible. And do duties like laundry and peparing food.

Totally agree with that @Knittingnanny! Every word! Almost every stress in my life is related to the fact that I simply cannot (due to health) keep my house tidy therefore to pay for that would just lift the biggest weight.

@slightlyworriedthissunday it’s only with hindsight though for me!
Actually most things in life relating to being a parent are “ with hindsight”!

I feel the same as @slightlyworriedthissunday. It would make me so much less stressed and enjoy my time with the family so much more.

I think you need a cleaner once a week to do
A full clean, perhaps on a Friday to change beds etc, maybe five to six hours and you also need what I think was called a 'daily'.
They could then clear breakfast, load dishwasher, washing machine dryer etc, perhaps prepare supper, maybe a quick wipe over bathrooms, kitchen surfaces, floor etc.

Actually this probably describes what I do at home having been made redundant last year and choosing not to return to work.

Do people have someone come and do things in the house for them every day? It seems a lot in terms of time and money although I suppose housework does need to be done each day so if you can't do it yourself or don't want to then I guess that is the answer.