How to prioritize when everything is needing attention?

[Releasethebreak]

I won't bore everyone with the details, but like so many people, my life has been fairly challenging during the past year under lockdown. I've ignored everything except my family, my work, and two other important priorities.

My house is a total mess and getting worse by the day. It's out of control and we can't find things easily anymore! I am behind with tidying, cleaning, laundry, gardening, life admin. I have put on weight and I've become very unfit. I have abandoned my hobbies which used to keep me sane.

Thankfully, the two other priorities have now resolved (a legal issue and supporting an old friend with cancer) and my work is starting to easing off for the summer so I now have time to turn my energy to everything else.

But where to start? I have always been really bad at prioritising and everything is urgent. Please don't laugh at me but I am after advice about how people schedule their day in detail to take care of all the competing priorities, both necessary and enjoyable.

Can anyone point me in the direction of any weekly schedules that include housekeeping, self care and hobbies? Do such things exist? Anyone willing to share their own?

Hi OP, I follow TOMM, life changer, there is a bootcamp option, I love it! Good luck, take things slow!

The organised Mum Method. Google it. Amazing!

You need TOMM, it's the organised mum method and it really does work for lots of people.

The FB group is quite useful too to keep yourself accountable.

Marie kondo could work well op.
I loosely use TOMM too but out of synch with it at the minute. So I am decluttering like crazy again. You know when you find 5 rolls of sellotape and birthday cards and batteries but you've bought more because you have too much stuff.

I have lost my mojo in terms of self care but am going to go back to a daily bath rather than quick shower. Bought a lumea and tan twice a week. Just for me.

Maybe write out a schedule for yourself?
What would work for you?

Tidy first prioritising what just makes life really hard, or will cause a big problem if left undone.
Only clean the vital stuff while doing this.
As the house improves it will spread naturally to wanting to get back to more self care, as you'll feel better.

Thank you Galwaygirl (my mother's from Galway!) I've had a quick look and it seems like a realistic system . TOTT looks interesting too. I guess once I am on top of the housekeeping again, I can look at restarting hobbies. But usually, if I don't have any time to do anything creative, I get really demoralised and then don't do anything.

Thanks Woodlandbelle but I tried Kondo about five years ago and just couldn't get on with it at all. I really know what you mean about buying duplicates though and then losing them too! . I think a daily schedule might be useful too.

Lots of votes here for TOMM. OK, going to go for it!

Thank you everyone!

You could use this as a reset too and examine what is actually important.
For example, providing clean clothes can be a real stress point. Stop ironing. Wash a load a day, and sort out an easy indoor hanging system.
Decide whether you want a sterile clean home, where housework is your hobby. Or start a new active hobby and see if that in turn increases your energy and motivation generally, so you actually ultimately achieve more.

Perhaps try TOMM and keep Sunday's free for self care and creative hobbies?

FindingMeno (love the NN! ) The laundry is definitely a stress point. We all have far too many clothes. I might start by reducing that.

Yeah I definitely need one chunk of time for creativity to keep me mentally buoyed up while doing the soul-destroying stuff. It's dawned on me after 20 + years of marriage and children that I absolutely loathe housework.

That last para was in response to wheresmymojo btw.

I'm assuming you're still married? And the kids are teens or older? If so then they need to all e pulling their weight too.

I know Verity my DH more than pulls his weight , he cooks and clears up most nights. The teens are a bit of a losing battle but they have had disappointment after disappointment recently for various Covid- related reasons and are only just keeping it together. Don't really want to put any more pressure on them ATM leading up to exam season.

Look up www.flylady.net
Also, www.becomingminimalist.com and www.zenhabits.net

Between them they have turned my life around

Thanks Fleahopper I will have a look.

I found fly lady practical but her religion and Trump supporting put me off in the end as I got a lot of emails about it.

Tomm works well and I like the phone app.

Kondo looks at the emotional reasons you might be keeping clutter and her books are worth a read.

On a practical level I also find a robot Hoover useful for maintenance and some family members have robot mops.

The less stuff you have the easier it is too keep things sorted.

I find a timed schedule works best for me when there is a lot of jobs to do as it's pre-prioritised.
I'd take a room at a time, write a list of tasks which need doing and then schedule them by time over however many days..(being careful not to over commit) and making sure you schedule in breaks too!
I do this for my work tasks and find it helps me be the most productive and I always feel satisfied with all the ticks at the end of the day.
When things are more in order focus on minimising 'things' and decluttering. Overtime with less things you can ensure everything has a place (so it's easy to return it once used) and you'll spend less time managing the stuff you have.
Good luck! Xx

I don't subscribe to her emails as there were so many @Ineedaneasteregg

I know she's religious but I can handle that, but I didn't know she was so pro-trump.
I have found her strategies extremely useful, but on my terms.
It was really through her that I came across the minimalist blogs and podcasts.

I also think that she might well help @Releasethebreak as she is keen on making time for self care and family, which OP asked about. But I agree it's a bit full on sometimes!

I followed her for a good while @Fleahopper the politics only kicked in towards the end.

She is good on looking after yourself and some of the reasons people end up in chaos.

My initial question is how many people live in your house and what ages are they!

Soontobe60 I need to sort out my own actions first before anyone else in my family. I've been occupied with two major "projects" that have eaten up my time when I was already under extra pressure because of Covid work related stuff and that's what's caused the issues here.

I did try Flylady for a bit a while back. Bits of it were good but I got annoyed with it because more and more things kept being added on that supposedly only took "five" minutes and took me a lot longer. Didn't know she was a Trump supporter!

I would focus on one area at a time. Perhaps a room that you spend most of your time in or somewhere you could make a big impact on. Once you’ve started you will gain the enthusiasm and rhythm to keep going. If you have stuff to get rid of then make the necessary piles and take to the charity/dump etc that same day or at least get it in the car. Once you’ve made a start you’ll be fine. Good luck.

In your position, I would do one room at a time plus a load of laundry a day. To include drying, folding and putting away.

As well as organising your time you need to prioritise. To prioritise sit down somewhere completely different, a park bench is good, and decide what really stresses you, what makes you feel good, what you don't care about. Look up the Eisenhower decision matrix. Don't waste time and emotional energy on stuff that doesn't matter.

And also, wear things more times and wash them less often.