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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Decluttering regrets

17 replies

frozendaisy · 15/04/2021 15:13

Has anyone decluttered something that you later regret?

I got rid of a second two step stepladder then the one I kept broke. A dehumidifier, as I was given a new one but it wasn't as good.

I haven't regretted getting rid of some books that the kids now want to read. They are dead weight/space. And you can never predicted a person's personal reading choices.

I am currently on a big push declutter and don't want to throw in haste but also don't want to keep unnecessarily. It's a fine line with some items.

OP posts:

ginghamtablecloths · 15/04/2021 15:24

Whenever you chuck something there's the question - what if I need this/will it come in handy, etc? I got rid of a lightweight stepladder as I didn't feel safe on it, replacing it with one with a couple of handy grab bars on each side. It feels safer but weighs a ton. Not such a good move then.
I've got a spare stove top kettle at the back of a cupboard. I can bet my boots that if I throw it away the electric kettle will conk out. Like a lot of things it's swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

Oblomov21 · 15/04/2021 15:36

A few things. Dh gave an air conditioning unit to my sil. How I regret that.

Years ago, I sold a whole set of proper brio wooden railway and all the Thomas the tank trains set on eBay. Woman complained. Now wish I hadn't bothered. Bitch.

WhereIsMyMojoGone · 15/04/2021 17:34

I've only regretted getting rid of one thing but I can't even remember what it was now, so it can't have been that important.

Yes, you're going to make mistakes, probably. It is a process. Is the regret because it would be expensive to replace?

Oblomov21, that's really annoying about the train set but its not that you regret getting rid of it but more that you sold it to her.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 15/04/2021 17:43

I love The Minimilists’ take on this. They say that even if you do regret one or two things, the benefit of getting rid of the other hundreds (or thousands) of things far outweighs the regret.

So, instead of regretting the few things I threw away in haste, I try and think how much better my life / home is due to all the stuff I did throw out.

Saying that, I do regret throwing away an old pair of doc martens and a couple of bags I wish I still had.

DDIJ · 15/04/2021 17:44

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

SnarkyBag · 15/04/2021 17:47

None at all and I would say I got rid of about 40% to 50% of everything we owned a few years back.

I don’t keep spares of anything. If it can be replaced for less than £20 I don’t worry about it. I’d rather spend the £20 and only have one item taking up space at time. I actually can’t think of anything that I’ve had to replace that I threw out spares of.

AcornAutumn · 15/04/2021 17:48

Yes I have regrets

But I have never "decluttered" anything that would be expensive to rebuy.

So in my small flat, I still have a dehumidifier, two small heaters, a full length mirror and probably other stuff that won't get used in this flat.

It might well be used in the not- near future but no way I am getting rid of stuff like that.

It's also sad when you go to the wardrobe thinking "where is my green scarf" and realise it's in the charity shop.

When you live in a small space, decluttering from necessity means you have to get rid of stuff but I am now very careful about it.

lljkk · 15/04/2021 17:56

a few things yes. Never massive regrets, just that I hate spending money pointlessly if I rebuy.

I have some books I want to declutter after rereading them one last time... of course I'm slow to re-read. In theory I will sit in sun & read them (when it gets warm enough to sit in sun). I would regret giving them away without one last read.

Mostly it's nice to just get rid of hugely unused & underused stuff and not have it overfilling my life.

I retain an issue with socks. Down to about 99 pairs and can't bring myself to part with any that are still wearable.

WhereIsMyMojoGone · 15/04/2021 18:32

@lljkk my mum's thing is table linen. She has drawers full of them and many she has not yet used. I think that's a bit sad as she has saved them for best. But I guess it gives her joy.

Twatterati · 15/04/2021 18:43

I really dislike decluttering from an emotional point of view. I love it from the freedom it brings but always have a nagging 'what if....'

Did once take a 'keep' bag to the tip by mistake and was distraught at the time but can't even remember what was in it now.

My dad is quite a hoarder which causes my mum huge stress, and I really don't want to be like him (he's got FAR worse as he's got older). He's not extreme in as much as what he keeps has a purpose and is more like a collection for him (over 400 Zippo lighters anyone?) but his collections have taken over their house and they have about a dozen sheds in their garden.

How do you all feel about getting rid of things your kids might have wanted to keep? Things like favourite childhood stuff, school books, keepsake 'tat' - do you get rid of it anyway, ask if they want it, keep some stuff?

Can happily de-clutter my own things but feel terrible if it is someone else's or something they might want at a later date. Not sure why as they are probably unlikely to want to see the miniature Eiffel Tower they bought age 7, but you just never know! I wonder if this is because my mum got rid of literally everything of mine and I wish she hadn't.

FourTeaFallOut · 16/04/2021 11:06

My DM was a thorough and regular declutterer. Honestly, I'm just relieved I'm not expected to haul shit through my life as a shrine to my younger self.

I do stop short of unannounced purges while the kids are at school though. I think there should be a window to retrieve things they are not ready to let go from the out pile before being jettisoned for good.

yeOldeTrout · 17/04/2021 07:48

How do you all feel about getting rid of things your kids might have wanted to keep?

Short answer is I tossed a few things they missed -- but only a few. I try to treat them DC individuals. They mostly wouldn't get around to making the decision, is a problem, I have to ask them except not DD...

DD has fierce hoarding instincts. She would never throw away anything ever. I don't feel bad about getting rid of a lot of stuff -- she'd literally keep every scrap of clothing she ever owned. I've had to work hard to persuade her to part with unused & unappreciated things. I simply don't ask about a billion school notebooks etc.

DS1 turfs stuff out ruthlessly, easily lets go.
DS2 has a tiny number of things he treasures, indifferent to rest of his stuff.

Olwyn35 · 08/07/2021 09:42

It’s not my regret it’s my grandson’s. Parents left decisions to him when he was 6, and he decided he wanted many of his nicest toys to go to the charity shop to help other children. He only kept Lego. One thing that went was a great castle, a Christmas present from us 18 months ago - bought at our son’s request and all of us played with it and loved it. Our grandson rang us last night and asked us where we bought it, so he could buy it again with his pocket money and I felt so sorry for him. His parents aren’t bothered either way and are happy for him to make his own choices. He’s now 7. What to do?!? I’m wondering if he won’t be happy if we can’t find the exact same one - and so far we can’t. Also if he didn’t want it a week ago in a fit of enthusiasm for tidying, does he really want it now for summer holidays?

thelegohooverer · 08/07/2021 13:06

I’ve had a few regrets but only a few and I’ve appreciated the effects of decluttering everyday, so I’m happy with that ratio.

The things I’ve regretted have been very random and unpredictable, and not once been things that I struggled to decide about. And even then, I haven’t always got around to buying a replacement. In fact, right now, I can’t think of a single example.

I’ve found it helpful if I’m struggling to make a decision, or with the emotional loss, to put it aside for later and just get on with easier things. I’ve found that the more I practice letting go of the obvious junk, the easier it gets to tackle the hard ones.

user1494055864 · 08/07/2021 14:04

I think my main regret is not the decluttering itself, but the ridiculous amount of money I've spent over the years on stuff. I didn't have much as a child, so I bought my own children everything. If they expressed an interest in a particular toy, I would 'have' to buy the whole set, different characters, accessories for it etc. Not for them, but to satisfy my collecting bug.
I probably would have paid my mortgage off by now if I had reined in my spending a bit. I spent well over £100 on stuff like shopkins figures. Terrible waste!!!

YupIHave · 08/07/2021 18:08

@Olwyn35 Aww at your grandson. Personally, I would ask children to just declutter say 5 things at any one time or give them a small box and say fill it up. Also, keep it for a few weeks so if there are regrets, item(s) can be retrieved. Obviously, this doesn't help your grandson this time but you can ask his parents for next time.

Why don't you offer to go to the toy shop together and buy something new. (Will probably choose Lego though.)

Olwyn35 · 08/07/2021 18:59

[quote YupIHave]@Olwyn35 Aww at your grandson. Personally, I would ask children to just declutter say 5 things at any one time or give them a small box and say fill it up. Also, keep it for a few weeks so if there are regrets, item(s) can be retrieved. Obviously, this doesn't help your grandson this time but you can ask his parents for next time.

Why don't you offer to go to the toy shop together and buy something new. (Will probably choose Lego though.)
[/quote]
Thanks. It’s a good idea to go slow and steady like that, more reassuring for children. I think our grandson got a bit carried away with helping charity and at age 6 didn’t realise when things are gone, they are gone. On the plus side, most things don’t seem to be missed! It’s so sweet he was proposing to spend his own money and didn’t ask for us to buy the castle again and our hearts melted. I think going together to the toy shop to choose something is a lovely idea! His parents would support that (so long as what he chooses isn’t massive!).

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