I wonder if there's something wrong with me i look around and see stuff everywhere

[LJRT]

Hi. Im wondering if any one else out there feels like there or whether It's starting to become a bit of issue personally to me and should I seek help?

I feel my house is constantly un organised messy and has kids toys everywhere. I know in reality it doesn't look like that as many friends and family comment about how tidy it is. But why can I not accept this! The idea of stuff that is no longer in use really flusters me. I've got 7 huge clear clipped boxes in the loft full of boot sale items that we planned on doing this summer obvs didn't because of covid but just the thought that its sat up there really bugs me. (Plus we now need the boxes as were redoing our kitchen hopefully in the next few months so things are going to get so much worst)
I don't know what it is but I spend most of my day tidying and organising. And when its done it still feels cluttered . Me and my husband have always been everything has a place type people but i do wonder if its becoming more of an issue now. And I really hope I've managed to explain how I'm feeling in this post.

I have a friend who likes a tidy attic, though it doesn't bother me personally. Can you sell via a FB page, or take to a charity shop, depending on tier situation?

Yes this does sound a bit like obsessive thinking. Do you think you are focusing your anxiety into keeping things tidy, wanting to control something when a lot seems out of control?

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants

I have a friend who likes a tidy attic, though it doesn't bother me personally. Can you sell via a FB page, or take to a charity shop, depending on tier situation?

I've tried to sell on fb and I've sold some bits of the lot. Husband doesn't want to take to a charity because the money would come in handy ect

@MistleTOEboughski

Yes this does sound a bit like obsessive thinking. Do you think you are focusing your anxiety into keeping things tidy, wanting to control something when a lot seems out of control?

Hmm maybe I do suffer from anxiety and constant worrying!

I can absolutely relate to this. I don't have any useful advice but I know just how this feels and will be interested to see what others have to say.

I suspect I have this problem as well, OP - any kind of low-level clutter around the house makes me really on edge.

I think my media consumption habits aren't helping - I watch lots of home makeover shows & follow several interiors & minimalist influencers. I generally struggle with perfectionism (doesn't mean I'm perfect AT ALL), so I think comparing to immaculately styled / decluttered homes isn't helping.

My mother and grandmother were also borderline hoarders although they had large enough houses that they got away with it, so perhaps that's a factor as well.

Sorry, no advice but you're definitely not alone!

Yep, clutter stresses me out.

Sorry, but that does sound like a issue that is escalating beyond the realms of ‘normal’.

You should really address this issue. Either by yourself or with professional help if that is how you think would help.

Is it-
The boxes are in the loft, full up when they should be empty
The fact you didn’t ‘complete’ a job or
That you feel your not in control somehow?

Once you know the problem, it’s easier to try and tackle it.

Nothing wrong with being organised, clean and tidy, but not to the point it negatively affects you.

Don’t believe the pictures you see on Instagram, they are staged, even the ones that look like they are not.

Tidy house once, take 50008 photos, post them throughout the next 4 months so people think my house is always clean when actually the baby has just thrown food up the wall....again!

If you have young children there probably IS stuff everywhere, so you're not seeing things 🤣. Just wait until your youngest is 10 years old and then they will get rid of all the toys and switch to a nice compact computer. Then you can replace your anxiety about clutter with anxiety about the amount of time they are spending on screens. 👍

I think how you usually feel is fairly common, but that you're possibly veering into it getting out of control.

I can't abide anything under the bed, I couldn't cope with one of thise beds that lift up with storage under them or bed that has drawers in it.

We bought internal doors a while ago, bought them all at once so they'd match, but putting them on as each room is complete. They had to go under the bed as it's the only Soave we have thats flat and not a walkway. I HATE it, even though it's not just crap shoved under there & I can Hoover/dust them etc. And I don't obsess about the loft, but I feel a lot better when I've been up there & had a good sort/tidy. This place is far too small, but I don't want to get rid of too much as we hope to move to somewhere larger again. But arghhhhhhhhh

Not sure what the solution is for you, maybe you just need to have a word with yourself about knowing it IS actually tidy & clean. And maybe work
Out what the real issue is..like worry about you getting Covid/your parents getting it/job worries/etc. It's most likely to be a displacement activity/thought.

I can empathise OP and really felt like this when my DC was a bit younger. I found it was taking up way too much of my thinking time and making me unhappy but it all seemed so important. I started focussing on one room a day and keeping on top of that - going round all the rooms over the course of a week or so and knowing that if something needed sorting, I would get to it. I found that less overwhelming and a way of compartmentalizing. I still struggle a bit but for some reason it has faded and "good enough" seems more acceptable to me.

Can you expand a bit on what you mean when you say that you spend most of your day tidying and organising?

It really shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to put a room to rights (that’s just my opinion obviously, but if it takes longer than that there’s just too much stuff)

Or are you constantly cleaning because you literally cannot bear any mess at all?

To me the word “organising” is a do-it-once and then it’s done concept. Granted, when you start it takes a while, but I think it helps a lot to aim for more simple systems rather than highly detailed ones.

Would you consider just donating the stuff in the attic? Sometimes it’s worth the cost (eg the money you might have made at the car boot, which is likely less than you imagine) for the peace of mind. If you factor in your time, and fuel costs it might not be worth very much. An alternative is to put it on a selling site as a mixed bundle at a low price and see can you move it like that.

Do you donate to charity otherwise? Could you justify giving it to a charity instead of giving in another way?

I don’t mean to be criticising - I’m just trying to throw ideas out to help you think about different angles.

I get immense satisfaction from clearing clutter and this time of year stresses me out with a Christmas tree and decorations etc so you're not alone OP. As a pp said, once your kids get older and toys disappear it does get easier.

Could it be that thanks to COVID you have simply been spending heaps of time at home and become more and more focused on what seems like clutter to you?

I know that in normal times I often think my house is a bit messy but if I go out/away and spend time in others’ houses, when I come back it seems much tidier! I think it changes my focus from individual elements to the whole ‘picture’.