SUSTAINABLE DECLUTTERING-top tips here please

[majorstress]

my arms are aching from yesterdays decluttering efforts , and I feel guilty for doing it instead of interacting with DDs. I can't do it when they are asleep because I'm doing their rooms mainly.

What I really want is it for it not to come back! HOW do I organise the cupboards, drawers, the MESS? I don't want to spend all my time doing this-it makes life seem pointless.

One thing I've realised is that I have put things we use a lot in hard to reach top cupboards, and little used stuff taking up the prime positions. So need to move stuff as well as chuck more out.

I want dds to be able to dress themselves and soon put away their own clothes-but the drawers are too crowded. But I find it hard to work out HOW MANY of each sort of item they need. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE.

thanks guys I got kicked off the pc so that DH could do his work email. Now he's on the phone upstairs to work, in dds BR.

He took today off, becasue it is halfterm.
I also lost the black bin liner roll yesterday silly OR WAS IT SUBCONSCIOUS so can't pack the stuff for the charity shop. I use the door to door too, they save me lots of time ever few weeks.

I've advertised some (free) stuff on the local netmums, have offloaded lots that way, haven;t used freecylce yet, did try to get rid of broken piano for church once (failed)

On the plus side I have meanwhile sorted all the bedding and towels!!! go me.

I can;t say anything, becaseu he is trying to get a big promotion and this is how it is with him, and will stay. We'll have a superduper outing later today, and come back to the mess.

He can be good at decluttering but no time ATM.

I noticed once dd1 started school they don't need much, thanks for the specific list hana

Anyone else able to say how many clothes a school child needs? Uniform and non uniform.

I've thought of trying to increase storage, this house is poorly laid out as well, but can;t remember what we have already-so I think it isn;t a lack of storage problem, it's just way too much stuff.

I've evn thought of moving to a smaller place as a drastic way to force the stuff out.

EVERYTHING is going to be OKAY NOW!!!

I found the bin bags.

What blueshoes said. But add that freecycle is good.

Look at number 6 on this list

OK top tips for staying on top of BOOKS? As an extra motivator there is a church book sale coming up which I would like to support.

Thanks all, it has helped motivate me to have some extra tips on how to do it. good ol flylady eh? I even have her feather dusters, must teach cleaner how to use it .

the living room is now festooned with most of 2 dds remaining clothes but i am SURE this is progress (???)

We dumped two big bags at the Charity bin yesterday.

I am staying focussed on clothes ATM, with a beady eye on the toys next week when dds go back to school and I have a day at home.

The other thing I have done is suspended some of my usual activities so I can do this-not just declutter-(clearly as flylady says you have to DO SOME DECLUTTERING EVERY DAY FOR LIFE-it's like a diet) but get to organise things to STAY that way. My mistake (well one of them) in the past has been to think I can do this ON TOP OF everything else.

I just am having trouble accepting the facts a) I am older b)I have a permanent back injury and this is how it is going to stay c) I am a mum of young children (I have been very unhappy in this role, and beat myself up for it, but that doesn't help.)

So temporary measures: a)I have hired a cleaner to come 5 days a week! (she is inexperienced and hard to teach but the best I could get) b)I am cancelling my vegetable box for now (no surprises to cook before they go off) c)I am cooking to a rigid simple menu-dds only like pasta with bottled sauce anyway so hope it chokes them, and my mum used to say.

Try putting a lot of suspected not used toys in a bag/box and shoving it in the garage/loft. If no-one misses them - ditch them in 6 months.

That's my test for whether something goes or not. I ask myself - would I/dh/ds ever notice it gone?

The "Oubliette" approach: I have a sudden impulse to do that with myself!

That is a good approach. My decluttered friend takes it one step futher and chants "it's in the loft" whenever her dcs ask what happened to X? Of course the item is long gone, and they forget again after a short while.

a note of caution-I once got dd1 to choose some toys for charity sale at the hospital where I work, she was about 4 and a good sort for thinking of others. I vetted and made sure she put in nothing touched al all for months. After the sale ended a week later, she suddenly asked for a soft toy snowman-cried and cried and still goes on about it aged 7! Never again.

I?ve really found FLYing helpful in decluttering and just getting organized. We are starting a newbies thread here if you want to join us!?!?

Majorestress - if this helps you:

DD, aged 6 - 3 pairs jeans, 5 skirts, 1 everyday dress, 2 party skirts, 1 rain coat, 1 warm coat, 1 pair shoes, 1 pair trainers, 1 pair wellies, about 8 long sleeved tops, 3 cardis, 7 vests, 20 knickers, 15 socks.

DS, aged 4 - 15 pairs trousers, 2 smart shirts, 10 long sleeved tops, 1 rain coat, 3 warm jackets, 1 pair shoes, 1 pair trainers, 1 pair wellies, 7 vests, 20 pants, 15 socks.

All approximate. No school uniforms here.

Wow DH that is a lot less than we have, except maybe pants. good for you, I will emulate you!

Remember I have bought almost none of this, I think that adds to my problems-(Internal dialogue "keep this because it goes with that", "this jumper is a bit tight but don't have another that fits ATM" "nice dress never worn, might get invited to party next week")

I guess it's true the few things that I chose I tend to hang on to-they wear more too . I hotly deny being sentimental but I guess this proves it.

I feel a bit strange about Flylady, I was REALLY into it for a while, and did my typical thing of buying and STUDYING her books and stuff-I even have two purple ostrich feather dusters-large and small. they make a nice ornament . Maybe I should throw them out first.

I feel like I DO understand where she is coming from. I have used to great advantage the idea that you have to do things in small doable DAILY stages, and it has worked on certain projects, especially where I told SOMEONE ELSE how to do it! They thought it is MY idea.

But in the end I just can't establish good habits myself for any length of time. I get bored, distracted, forget where I was, have a mood swing or go off on a tangent. And since dd1 started school, the continual shifts to routine with 14 weeks off school at different intervals, and all the other problems to do with that and dh ever-more demanding job, have made life really difficult. I work part time and am no longer efficient there either, I feel a terrible failure about everything.

I hate our life amd keep trying to fix it, but each round of attempts is a bit slower and more tentative.

I'm still here majorstress! Just got back from a day at work - I work 2 days, otherwise SAHM.

Our house is a mess too. Way too much stuff, even though we are not materialistic people.

One mantra I am trying to live by is: "for every new thing you bring in to the house, get rid of an old thing".

Chuck it, sell it, recycle it, or give it away.

Of my DS's 15 pairs of trousers, I think I've only actually bought him one. All the others were given to us as gifts from grandparents, or hand-me-downs from generous friends. So as soon as I get a new bag of hand-me-downs, I try and get rid of the equivalent number of items to charity or pass on to another friend with a younger DS.

Recently DH and I went to car boot sale: net profit, after paying entrance fee, £132! Most of that in £1 or 50p items. We did sell other, larger things, but those probably only accounted for £40 of the total profit.

People will buy the most amazing stuff. I sold one of those little padded toilet seats for toilet training - for 50p! - and a baby knife and fork - again for 50p. It all adds up...

Majorstress - my DDs 4 and 1 yo, share a small wardrobe. I have hung two bars one above the other in the middle for dresses, tunics and bulky items and on either side have hung 3 of those hanging cloth things with about 5 or 6 sections each, two wide ones for tops, t-shirts skirts, trousers cardigans etc and a narrow one for tights, socks and pants. This way I, and they, can see everything. The baby also has another hanging wardrobe in the bathroom over a work surface next to the changing mat, with vests and pyjamas.

majorstress - if it helps:

DD, aged 3.5 - 2 pairs jeans, 2 pairs jogging bottoms, 5 skirts, 2 party dresses, 1 winter coat, 1 rain coat, 2 hooded jackets, , 1 pair trainers, 1 pair wellies, about 6 long sleeved tops, 8 tshirts, 1 jumper, 1 cardi, 15 knickers, 10 socks, 3 tights.

I do Flylady and have surges of energy. I have made my routines and work with them then also get bored and go off the boil. As they are written down I pick up where I left off and so on.

I post on the main FLY thread every now and again but I feel quite anal about 'doing it properly' and not just making general lists so depending on my mood dip in and out.

Today I have been in the garage. I have shifted 8 things on freecycle (only 1 thing I listed ahas had no takers) and have posted 10 things on ebay. I dont do ebay very often so will have to see what happens.

LOL I'm not sure I should post on here how much stuff my 3 1/2 yo DD has. Not the sort of info you need majorstress And this is stuff that is currently in her wardrobe, not the summer stuff I have put away

I am just guessing but here goes:
20 pairs pants
10 pairs ankle socks
10 pairs of knee socks
8 pairs of tights
6 pairs of pjs
2 dressing gowns
4 party dresses
9 everyday dresses
15 skirts
4 pairs of cords
6 pairs of jeans
3 pairs of leggings
3 pairs of velvet trousers
5 pairs of combats
2 pairs of culottes
2 other pairs of trouserse
22 t-shirts (obviously these mostly left from the summer)
18 long sleeve tops
2 jumpers
2 tank tops
9 cardigans
8 vests
5 swimming costumes
2 bikinis
5 winter hats
6 scarves
1 pair of gloves (bought today!)
4 raincoats
1 smart coat
2 winter coats
1 jacket
1 denim jacket
1 leotard
1 football strip

It is ridiculous. But the majority of this (eg all the trousers and all but one of the coats) have been bought by other people or are handmedowns. Although it is also likely that I have forgotten things.

DS is 6 and as far less clothes, partially because boys less fun to buy for, we don't know people with older boys so no handmedowns and he is in school uniform.

bozza

I'm still at it!!! diverted slightly from clothes to books, we got rid of about 70!!! I took dds to church, sat at front as they like to and dh then sneaked in the back so they wouldn't rumble him to dump the bags for the sale(dds DO like the books but we have literally 100s).

Managed to get rid of some grown up ones too, but he is very resistant. I say that Sherlock Holmes compendiums etc. are VERY readily available at the library but he insists on keeping them.

I used to sort out and give our son's toys and clothes to charity whilst he was at playgroup, but now we do the job together. I've explained how other children, who maybe don't have mummies and daddies etc., would really appreciate playing with the toys that he doesn't play with anymore. I think he understands. We do it twice a year now, and I rarely face any objections to my selection of things to go out.

Boxes are definitely the way to go when tidying up their rooms! How about introducing a "tidy-up time" at the end of the day? We do that and I usually make it fun by having a race or something with him. His room is tidied up in no time at all and without any tears!

Have fun

Well I have managed to get DD's jeans down to two pairs that fit and one pair that is too big. The others that actually fit nicely round the waist are too short in the leg being as how they are 18-24 and she is 3 1/2 so I have put them in a pile to go in the loft.

trousers are a lot less forgiving than dresses, but warmer!

I've just whittled down a few more, but now have lost track of a few piles (inset day today, now I have to work all week to make up for it plus half term! so may never find ANY t-shirts again. grrr).

DD insisted on only wearing a t-shirt in the park today so I am no longer concerned about warm. And DS was playing in the garden in shorts this morning. LOL we also had inset day today.

very unhappy dd1 at dawn this morning, couldn't find her "house" badge that she has to wear. I have bad PMT so stupidly did my usual-"you should have..." and say she'd have to get hold of and pay for a new one herself, though I did relent and give her the 20p later.

there is a distinct possibility that I caused this, I THOUGHT it was safely pinned to her clean jumper, or was it a dress, at the start of half term. It doesn't help that the uniform is bottle green and so is her house colour, it's completely plain and indistiguishable. We didn't have this house business in America, or a uniform, beyond no bare midriff or offensive tshirts! But no excuses, I hate myself this morning!

I do have a slightly better idea of where stuff is and what we've got, well some of it anyway, but fiddly little things like this defeat me.

We had homework tears too, she got up at 5:30 am to do some of it in a totally unecessary panic.

We've only just started this Juniors lark and she is scatterbrained but perfectionist like me, but at 7 it is forgivable.

I (personally) don't think kids need many clothes once they are at school and wearing uniform - though maybe this is because I rarely get mine to change out of theirs when they come home (it usually needs a wash by then anyway).

I find that many outfits get left unworn as they will only wear a couple of things at weekends - as long as you can keep on top of the washing even 3/4 outfits should be ok for school holidays.

I don't buy much for mine - dd gets given almost enough new stuff for Christmas/birthdays and the ds's get lots of hand-me-downs. I try to be ruthless about accepting these - will generally go through the bag as soon as I'm given it and anything that is looking worn or I don't like the style of, I put in a bag for recycling or charity shop, depending on condition.

My biggest single de-cluttering epiphany was taking all the CDs and DVDs out of their jewel cases and putting them into those large folders (about the size of a big ring binder, they take up to 200 discs) and recycling the cases.

It cleared up MILES of shelf space.

And be analytical about what's causing the mess in your place - I realised a while ago that I had little piles of presents I'd picked up for various people (I buy for birthdays whenever I see something that makes me think of someone, so I don't have to panic about a gift at the last minute). Sometimes these things were sitting around for months. I put them all into one cupboard along with the jiffy bags and wrapping paper, and messes disappeared from all over the house.