Husband helping with housework.

[Wilkie1956mog]

DH washes up after every meal, has done for years. (I do the cooking and a probably 60% of the housework.) We are both retired. But - he doesn't do a very good job and it does my head in. He leaves bits of dried on egg and sauce etc on plates and spoons. I'm forever taking a plate or utensil out of the cupboard to use and then having to wash it because there's some old food stuck on it. I've mentioned it once or twice but he thinks I'm fussing and says "Well, just wipe it off." Or he says maybe I should do it myself if I don't think it's good enough. Or he blames it on "poor light" in the kitchen. AIBU to think that if he's going to do it, he should do a proper job and not just rush through it and not scrub things properly??

Hi OP. Give him a different job to do and you take over the dishes? I'm obsessive when it comes to washing up. Too much I admit. I bleach my cups every day 😕😕😕

Get a dishwasher

I do the cooking and a probably 60% of the housework

Start serving him partially cooked food, and extra small portions, and if he complains even once, tell him maybe he should do it himself if he doesn't think it's good enough.

Seriously.

You need to find things that you care less about to get him to take responsibility for. If you haven't been retired long then now is a good time to divide the work up differently. Maybe he washes all his own clothes and cleans upstairs. He also goes for shopping (even if you do online order, he collects etc.). It might also be worth getting him to cook say two nights a week. At first it might not be great, might also involve lots of pans so a good time to shift to whoever cooks also washes up.

Ditch the idea that he’s helping. You’re both retired, both need feeding, both make housework etc. Saying he’s helping suggests it’s your responsibility and if he does anything, he’s helping you.

Split the jobs 50/50. Make sure that he does stuff you won’t need to pick fault with.

Put them in the sink and leave them for him to do that evening with the dinner dishes. Keep doing it every time you find a dirty one.

@HotSince63

I do the cooking and a probably 60% of the housework

Start serving him partially cooked food, and extra small portions, and if he complains even once, tell him maybe he should do it himself if he doesn't think it's good enough.

Seriously.

This.

I agree with keep putting them back out to do, occasionally at the very least. Although it still seems to be putting you in charge of the mental load if whether dishes are correctly done, so isn't a long term solution