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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

Does anyone use TOMM?

26 replies

JeffVaderneedsatray · 05/07/2020 17:36

I am, I freely admit, a shit person at keeping our house tidy (and thus properly clean)
It is a combination of hoarding tendencies in all of us, being old, fat and knackered, being lazy and having the concentration span of a knat (I am not NT - possible ADD in the mix)
I have been looking at TOMM and the thought of a system appeals to me especially as the rest of my household (DH, DS15 and DD12) all thrive on routine once routine is established. None of us are NT - DH, DS and DD all have an ASC.
However I am already feeling anxious about it - I'm worrying I won't do it 'right' and thus will 'get into trouble' (Yes, I know no one will ever know if I don't do it exactly as she does but my brain can often be irrational.......)
My biggest struggle is that she makes no mention of a dining room and we have one..........
Just 'boot camped' the kids' rooms in preparation.
Does anyone have any hints and tips and do you all promise not to tell on me if I don't do it EXACTLY right?

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 05/07/2020 18:39

I loosely follow it. You could add your dining room to a Friday instead of Friday focus. I have two living rooms and a dining area and try to do it all on Monday. I might take the 30 mins cleaning and then hoover and mop separately. I like the lists and the principle of setting a timer.

Thirtyrock39 · 05/07/2020 18:51

I do it and really like it, I move the days around a bit and don't do the Friday focus I use that to finish anything I've not done in the week or do things like cleaning washing machine
I know everyone says focus day is key but I don't find it essential .
For me the hall day is really quick - takes about five minutes so you could add your dining room to this day,
For me the biggest improvement is through doing hoovering downstairs and quick bathroom clean everyday . And doing one load of washing everyday
I do ironing Sundays as that's not on the official list

Original poster
JeffVaderneedsatray · 05/07/2020 18:52

Notcoolmum I've just made charts for us to follow ready to laminate (got to love a laminated chart!) and added the Dining Room to the Living room - they are open plan mostly, just an arch between them.

I can't face the idea of a total Boot Camp blitz so it is going to be a nibble away at clutter job. it's taken me aout 20 years to get the house INTO this state so I know if I go 'boot camp' on myself I will become exhausted and overwhelmed.
The kids' rooms this weekend have left me tearful and feeling like the worst person in the world.
Luckily a long family meeting on Thursday has got through to them that I am not the only person living here so the cleaning etc should not be totally my responsiblilty.

OP posts:
Original poster
JeffVaderneedsatray · 05/07/2020 18:55

Thirtyrock39 we have a bungalow with about a mile of corridors (OK I exaggerate but they are long!) I'm sure once I get going then they will be quick.
One of my daily jobs will be to make DH remove DH's shit post from the piano and the kitchen side.

OP posts:
MrsGatsby99 · 05/07/2020 18:57

I do it but not always to the letter and it has still made a big difference to our home. Progress not perfection! The 30 minute timer is helpful. Once you reach that, you can stop. The routine and lists are helpful especially by giving me more headspace. I got the app during lockdown and have found that helpful. All the best. 💐

Original poster
JeffVaderneedsatray · 05/07/2020 18:58

Can I also admit something here? (And not in AIBU becuase I know I'd get torn apart)
I really really really want to get a skip and just chuck all the shit and clutter and cuddly toys.
I know I should sort them and donate the best ones but I know they will just hang about for ages gathering dust!

OP posts:
Haworthia · 05/07/2020 19:00

I loosely follow it too. It really helps me to have a structure to follow (I’m rather neurodivergent myself Grin).

I have a tiny dining room too. It gets a quick Hoover daily just like rest of downstairs. You could clean it more thoroughly on a Wednesday (hallway and stairs day) which is usually a quick task for most people... unless you have a really palatial hallway.

Yankathebear · 05/07/2020 19:14

I follow it. We’ve also had a skip Wink
I’m not strict with it but it helps me to have a routine. I like the app because we can tick things off as we go and everything is broken right down, rather than just kitchen it lists all of the jobs in the kitchen. You can also add bits or move it around, I added cat litter as a reminder. Every 4 weeks on a Friday they have a miscellaneous room, I do my spare room but you could do your dining room.

Notcoolmum · 06/07/2020 11:11

@JeffVaderneedsatray same for me on boot camp. I'm doing the chip away at it thing. Also like it for when I'm not on it but someone says they are coming over. I use the lists and timer approach so I can be visitor ready. And not get myself into a flap.

Piratetree · 09/07/2020 13:02

I don’t follow TOMM but I do something very similar anyway and it generally works to keep the house clean (although I’m fighting a losing battle with four children and a partner who dumps stuff everywhere!) so I would say it will work even if you don’t follow it to the letter. And even if you don’t get everything done that you ‘should’ in a week, your house will still be cleaner than if you do nothing. For example this week I haven’t properly cleaned the high shelves in the dining room or cleaned the mirrors but it was all done last week so isn’t too bad.

Tlollj · 09/07/2020 13:06

I was doing it for years before it had a name. It shows how old I am but we were taught this at school!!
I live on my own now so it’s just so easy to keep the place tidy.

MamaFirst · 09/07/2020 14:41

Pre covid I did Tomm and loved it; honestly find it not doable right now with children home making messes constantly. All routine has gone out the window, let's be honest.

Ordinarily though, it helps to organise yourself and give your cleaning structure without having it take over. Hallway day is normally an easier day, you could put dining room in with that?

MamaFirst · 09/07/2020 14:43

Oh sorry, I see I repeated thirtyrock! I skimmed past that... Whoops.

FreezerBird · 09/07/2020 14:50

I follow it, loosely as others have said. The house isn't immaculate by any means (especially now with four of us home) but it's never a big job to get it sorted whereas before we let it go too much and then the tasks seemed insurmountable, making us less likely to do it!

She's very clear I think that the 'system' is what she came up with for her own home and family and if you need to adapt it to make it work for you, go for it.

For instance I'm really good at keeping on top of the kitchen as I go along so I found it didn't need a 'day'. Bathrooms on the other hand can be very 'out of sight out of mind' for me so although I try to keep on top of them I also have Thursday as bathroom day rather than kitchen.

All this has mildly gone to pot during lockdown but a tidy clean house is never that far below the surface any more.

Piratetree · 09/07/2020 19:16

@FreezerBird I’m the same, my kitchen is easy to do in small bursts while the kids finish eating or while the kettle is boiling etc but the bathroom needs a proper dedicated clean. Hard water area and using proper soap don’t help it look clean

lazylinguist · 09/07/2020 19:21

I tried it, like I tried lots of other things. I am NT, just lazy. I don't think any system will cure that! A bullet journal really helped organise my life in terms of work and life admin, but I've come to the conclusion that nothing will make me inclined to do more housework!

Original poster
JeffVaderneedsatray · 09/07/2020 21:40

Thanks people
I like the idea of changing the kitchen day for a bathroom day - I'm in the kitchen loads so can do bits and pieces.
I think this might work - I just want a relatively normal house that doesn't make me cry if we have incoming visitors!
I'm currently making some laminated tick charts! I love me a tick chart!

OP posts:
Sonmi451 · 10/07/2020 16:45

I've been attempting to get into the routine of TOMM for a while, but haven't quite been able to make it habitual yet. And then lockdown happened, and everyone being in the house all the time. I'd like to get back onto it though.

iknowimcoming · 10/07/2020 23:35

Hi - I started the messy house boot camp last week and it's slow but sure - finished the kitchen mostly today and will do bathrooms tomorrow ready to start the 'proper' system next week. I'm going to do one bathroom each day rather than all bathrooms quickly each day as I have too many (not a stealth boast) does that sound sensible? House looks so much better already and I'm resisting getting overwhelmed by the idea of perfect (also have adhd)

Yankathebear · 13/07/2020 10:46

Tomm starts over again today. Week 1. I’m going to try and start again.
I use the app and love ticking things off.

Murmurur · 13/07/2020 11:22

Jeff can you recommend any good inspiration for charts? I need to keep everyone on track for the holidays.

I blow a bit hot and cold with TOMM. I use the general principle of tackling living room on Monday etc but we are really fighting mess while we are all home so I need to get everyone to tidy more first.

pinkcarpet · 13/07/2020 12:01

I'm just about to start it. I am adding rooms on to days so will do dining room and kitchen together (open plan so kind of one room) and study/kids play room with the hall. I like the idea of set rooms on set days but we have so much clutter and mess i fear 30mins just won't be enough. I spent 2 hours last night tidying up from all the kids toys that had migrated around over the weekend

Piratetree · 13/07/2020 16:59

@pinkcarpet the first few weeks 30 mins won’t be enough but keep doing it and soon you’ll be seeing better results in that 30 mins. My youngest is 17 months and I’ve only been back following my routine properly for about 3 months but already everything feels cleaner and there is less mess and clutter. We haven’t got rid of anything really but it’s all better organised so feels less cluttered. Now when there are toys all over the floor and Cheerios spilt I know it’s a 2 minute tidy up and it will look good again whereas at the start of lockdown I was tearing my hair out because there was a whole other layer of mess under the toys and Cheerios. I probably do more like 40 mins though.

I have two living rooms and one is joined to dining room so I do all three rooms together. To begin with I was only managing to tidy up, dust surfaces and vacuum but now there’s less mess so all the picture frames etc get dusted too.

With toys I do a quick run around after dinner while my youngest two watch in the night garden and get everything back where it should be. Takes under 5 minutes but means I’m only fighting one days mess at a time.

The other thing that makes a huge difference for me is washing up/ loading the dishwasher straight after dinner then when I make a cup of tea in the evening once the kids are in bed I clear the draining board and give it a quick wipe while the kettle boils. Just having that clear in the morning makes me feel so much better Blush

Lockdownseperation · 13/07/2020 20:10

@JeffVaderneedsatray

Can I also admit something here? (And not in AIBU becuase I know I'd get torn apart) I really really really want to get a skip and just chuck all the shit and clutter and cuddly toys. I know I should sort them and donate the best ones but I know they will just hang about for ages gathering dust!
Do it! I would love to do this!
Lockdownseperation · 13/07/2020 20:14

@FreezerBird

I follow it, loosely as others have said. The house isn't immaculate by any means (especially now with four of us home) but it's never a big job to get it sorted whereas before we let it go too much and then the tasks seemed insurmountable, making us less likely to do it!

She's very clear I think that the 'system' is what she came up with for her own home and family and if you need to adapt it to make it work for you, go for it.

For instance I'm really good at keeping on top of the kitchen as I go along so I found it didn't need a 'day'. Bathrooms on the other hand can be very 'out of sight out of mind' for me so although I try to keep on top of them I also have Thursday as bathroom day rather than kitchen.

All this has mildly gone to pot during lockdown but a tidy clean house is never that far below the surface any more.

Yes, I’m the same. Bathroom on a Tuesday and kitchen as we good. We have a larger house so can’t get it all done in 5 days.