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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

Bursting out of our tiny 800sq foot house

41 replies

Winnerella · 22/06/2020 14:35

When I moved in to my house 7 years ago with two small kids, it was just the right size but roll on 7 years and now my youngest who got the tiny box room is now a good half a foot taller than I am and he is bursting out of that room. Both kids are so messy. Both blame the other and deny any responsibility at all. I am at work all day and I end up getting home to a mess. I have tried paying them to tidy up but they drag their heels and I feel frustrated that I'm paying them to tidy up the mess they made. So since lockdown began I've got home to a mess and spent an hour tidying up and they fix their own food. It is what makes me feel the least resentful.

My youngest is only just 14. I feel like it will be so many years before he moves out. I am a single parent and there is no more money. I'm lucky my job is secure but it's not brilliantly paid and I was lucky to buy this place at the bottom of the last low market. There is no hope of ever getting a bigger place that is near enough to work.

I keep telling myself I'll de-clutter, I do throw out stuff, but not enough. The house is just bursting at the seems. Not a hoarder though. I can throw out stuff. I'm not excessively sentimental.

I have work tomorrow again so anything I do is put off until next weekend.

I need inspiration. I need a bigger house! But failing that, help me out with stories of how you make it work.

OP posts:

LaureBerthaud · 22/06/2020 14:39

Would it help if you had the box room?

AriettyHomily · 22/06/2020 14:56

We don't have much more space, Dts are 8. I am militant about not having stuff. If it's doesn't get used / played with / worn it goes to the charity shop.

Original poster

Winnerella · 22/06/2020 15:24

I won't swap with my son, it would send a message to him that he is in charge round here, which is an entitlement he needs to be challenged in, not encouraged in!

I am going to get rid of some paper back books.

I'm going to put all my clothes on the bed one day, marie kondo style. I don't think I'll put them away in the same carefully folded way, but I will take everything out and commit to throwing away...........a fifth of it? One in 5 items has to go.

One idea I just had was to get the door to the attic replaced. It's really hard to get it open so I never go in to the attic. I need to look in to that.

The shed is bursting as well!

OP posts:

parentofteen · 22/06/2020 15:26

Our house is about the same size and it feels ok day to day but we have one less human. Are there particular areas you struggle with? EG is it clothes, books/other?

Do you have cupboards? A garage? A shed?

parentofteen · 22/06/2020 15:27

Just seen comment about shed, sorry!

slipperywhensparticus · 22/06/2020 15:32

Same here I'm downloading the we but books app and music magpie I've got a skip I just need to persuade the kids to PART WITH STUFF there excuses are you have books your not getting rid off (not my baby books I don't) you have more clothing (I have office/casual/lounging clothing) you have xyz IM A FUCKING ADULT CLEAR YOUR SHIT OR I WILL

it's not working because quite frankly I'm still pissing doing it all

sillysmiles · 22/06/2020 15:35

Is it a 3 bedroom house?

If your youngest is 14 I would just close their doors and let them live with there own mess but make a rule that none of there junk is allowed in common spaces. All clothes etc need to be in their own rooms.

Then start with your own bedroom, take you time at it and get a feel for it and get into the practice of dumping stuff. I think it gets easier as you go along.

If you can afford it, get someone in to sort out access, flooring and some shelves in the attic, and be clear about what it is that needs storing (xmas decorations, winter duvets) things that need to be rotated.

Can you set the kids to selling anything in their rooms they don't want? And they can keep the money.

Caspianberg · 22/06/2020 15:44

Like others have said, is there main items in particular that seem to take over?
Otherwise i would suggest picking one type and starting there ie books as you suggest. Go through whole house and box up and donate any books children have outgrown, or that aren't read anymore by all of you. aim for at least 1/4 gone.
Repeat for clothing, craft stuff, kitchen drawers, crap in shed.... everything slowly donated or binned by at least 1/4.

Caspianberg · 22/06/2020 15:46

Oh and maybe don't put it off until the weekends, as then its such a big job. Just every evening after work, set a 15 min timer on phone and clear one extra drawer or small area.

Original poster

Winnerella · 22/06/2020 16:19

It's a 3 bed house yes, but there is a box room and two very small rooms.

It's a good idea to start with my own room and to not put it off til the weekend.... I need to do 15 minutes on my room every evening until the weekend I think.

One drawer at a time, and then start with the books on my window sill (book shelves full!) then start on my wardrobe and rail.

I watch these marie kondo shows where they dump every single item they own on to the bed! And because I can't face that, I haven't started!

So, I'm off to do 15 minutes in my own room.

OP posts:

TheFaerieQueene · 22/06/2020 16:29

Pinterest have some really good storage ideas for small rooms. It might be worth a look there to get some ideas once you have Marie Kondoed!

jamandtonic · 22/06/2020 16:34

I watch these marie kondo shows where they dump every single item they own on the bed!

I don't know about yours, but no way is my bed anything like big enough for that to work...

fruitbrewhaha · 22/06/2020 16:45

What sort of mess are they making that takes an hour to tidy up?

Can you write them a list of what they need to do while you are at work. They should really be helping with chores. Things like hanging out washing, emptying dishwasher or washing up before you get home. Could you give them a ring before you leave work to give them a nudge, they then have 30 mins (or whatever) to tidy up before you get home.

It does sound like you have a lot of stuff, so de cluttering is they way forward. Then they have to get rid of stuff too. Could you create any more storage, ie high up beds with storage under ?

JoleneExotic · 22/06/2020 16:52

Declutter and good storage solutions for the stuff you need. Tis the only way. Said as somebody who lives in a tiny 2 bed.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 22/06/2020 16:54

Starting 1 drawer at a time definitely helps imo. Even clearing out the handbag is surprisingly cathartic.

Would ultimatums for the teens work? "If you don't choose 5 old PS2 games to get rid off, I will just choose for you?"

Attic space might work to store excess in the short term but eventually you just fill it and the problem still exists....

Bluntness100 · 22/06/2020 16:58

I think starting with your own room is a good idea. It’s leading by example. It’s hard to make your kids do it, if you yourself don’t.

So get all your stuff into shape and then make them do theirs and then have some ground rules in place to keep it that way.

YangShanPo · 22/06/2020 17:11

Could the attic be converted? That would give you an extra room.

whereiwanttobe · 22/06/2020 17:24

Definitely do the attic. We replaced our door, had the hatch made slightly wider and a wooden drop down ladder installed. Loft boards are cheap and they lined the beams with stuff from Wickes so that things weren't covered in dust. It cost about £4/500 all in, but it's honestly been a sanity saver.

It's so easy to go up and down now, so all the 'wrong' season's clothes are up there, along with the kids outgrown stuff they don't want to get rid of yet, summer chair cushions, even the big bags of dog food.

Best money we've spent on the house in years!

AramintaJones · 22/06/2020 17:40

My tips, for what they're worth!

Buy some clothes vacuum bags and put all your autumn and winter clothes and coats in them. Suck all air out. Slide under beds.

Be ruthless and chuck all your books. Buy a kindle. (I realise this may not be something you can do or want to do but it rids the house of paperbacks etc)

Be ruthless and chuck (charity shop) anything you don't use

Just have two sets of bedding for each bed. Charity shop the rest

Hire a skip. Fill it (I did this prior to a house move and it was so satisfying) doesn't apply if you don't have enough stuff though

Drastically reduce the amount of 'stuff' the kids have.

It really is a case of getting rid of a lot of stuff and then a place for everything and everything in its place. What's your shed full of? Stuff you use?

winterisstillcoming · 22/06/2020 18:22

I'd say do one drawer each. And if you all do it you get a special treat like a takeaway or a paid for movie if you can afford it.

If you can sell stuff on eBay all the better. Go halves with the teenagers.

Also refuse to buy them anything else unless they tidy.

I'm in a constant battle with 'stuff'. If they can't look after it, they can't have it. Tell them you can't do everything so if they want all this crap then they need to look after it. Otherwise your not going to spend your lonely on stuff you have to tidy up. It's their choice.

LaureBerthaud · 22/06/2020 19:14

I won't swap with my son, it would send a message to him that he is in charge round here, which is an entitlement he needs to be challenged in, not encouraged in!

Well, I was thinking he might just need more room for stuff, studying in and hanging out with friends than you might do.

Original poster

Winnerella · 22/06/2020 20:55

Thank everybody.

@whereiwanttobe this might be a stupid question but did you look for a carpenter to do that job, or do some companies do attic doors?
I will google! But just wondering what route you went.

OP posts:

whereiwanttobe · 22/06/2020 22:15

@Winnerella, yes, we got a carpenter/builder in to do the work, as they had to cut the ceiling to make the hatch bigger, build a new frame for it and install the ladder. We could easily have done the loft boards and lining ourselves, but the job only took a day and a half in total so it seemed money well spent to get them to do that part too.

Thisismytimetoshine · 22/06/2020 22:18

@whereiwanttobe

Best money we've spent on the house in years!

Is there a weight limit, or can you just treat it as a normal floor?

RandomMess · 22/06/2020 22:20

Weight limit depends on original construction so worth getting a builder to have a proper look etc.

I would offer your youngest new furniture to increase storage once he's sorted through his shit.

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