Spiders - I know this is ridiculous!

[Smiling2019]

Has anyone successfully dealt with a spider phobia? I feel SO silly to be so insanely freaked out by them.

I’m an otherwise healthy person, don’t really struggle with anxieties but if I see a spider over a certain size, I’m almost overcome with fear. I can deal with little ones but the bigger, thicker bodied ones have me in a bit of a state.

At this time of year, when they like to come indoors, I check the bed/pillows/duvet each night before I climb in. Last night, a huge one ran across the bed. I immediately ran downstairs and grabbed my spider catcher and spray and was praying it was still there when I got back upstairs. It was! I managed to squirt it and then get it into the catcher.

Now I know you’re not supposed to kill them and I’m genuinely love to get to a place where that wouldn’t be necessary, but if I don’t spray them and then they disappear under a bed or somewhere, I would genuinely not be able to sleep in that room.

After last night’s deed was done, I finally fell asleep but I dreamt about it and even this morning, I was still jumpy. Believe it or not, but I am actually better than I used to be. Once upon a time, I would not have even been able to catch them, such was the fear of getting that close. Now, armed with a can of Raid, I can!

I know it sounds utterly nuts! I really do! My friends think it’s hilarious but to me it’s genuinely disturbing. I can feel upset about it, for a good 24 hours later. Soooooo silly! I tried googling for answers but every page I looked at, had pictures of spiders on them and I can’t even look at pictures!

Anyone else managed to conquer this one? It’s a daft way to live!

No solutions but I'm the same. Although I can't catch them at all myself, DH has to do it (and he's not their biggest fan either). I really don't want to pass my phobia onto my son but failing already as a stripey one ran down his buggy hood when I was getting something out of the basket underneath and I essentially screamed because it was so close to my head.

I can't even look at photos, either. If I had the money I would try a course. I don't need to handle tarantulas, just be able to trap a typical one in a cup and let it out.

I lived in India for about two years in an apartment where massive cockroaches regularly dropped out of the ceiling air conditioning vent.

It was fucking awful (the roaches, not the country) but it cured my spider phobia. I'll sleep in a room with a UK spider rather than one of those hairy legged little roach terrors any day.

This probably doesn't help you

I have made massive progress with my spider phobia. I was terribly arachnophobic and now can cope reasonably well with them.

Three things that definitely helped me are:

A) running my own exposure therapy programme. If I saw a tiny spider in the house I started making myself watch it for a couple of seconds, then the next day for five seconds and a little closer and I gradually upped the time and proximity until standing looking at a tiny spider didn't raise my heart rate any more. Then I went through the same process with a very slightly bigger spider etc.

B) randomly bumping into a chap who specialises in helping people with this. I was at a summer fair and overheard someone saying about the tarantula over there and sure enough there was a man handling a tarantula, probably about 20 metres from me. I went through the whole fight or flight thing and ended up rooted to the spot until the reaction subsided and just watched from afar. I don't know what possessed me to do it but once the tarantula was safely back in her cage I decided to go and talk to the chap. It was very interesting and somehow I ended up holding this tarantula and almost enjoying it. It was unbelievable.

You probably think this means I wasn't properly phobic but honestly, I really really was before this point.

I know of two people who have had great success with the London Zoo spider course and have, in the space of a day, reached the point where they can handle British house spiders (which I think are waaayyy scarier than tarantulas).

C) If I see a big spider in my house I tell myself that this one spider is most likely one of 10 big spiders living in my house not ever causing me any harm apart from if I happened to see them and react with thumping heart rate etc. So basically, what's the point of being terrified of the one that I can see and know where it is when there are plenty of others around all the time that I cope with just because I can't see them. I tell the ones who make an appearance to kindly keep out of my sight as part of the tenancy agreement. I name them as well. I know it sounds bonkers but it seems to break down the terror to give them personalities.

I've never killed a spider. I just can't bring myself to do it because although I was petrified of them I hated myself more for my fear than I hated them.

Hi I don’t know if it definitely works but I was told to put a few drops of peppermint oil or a citrus spray around the windows and maybe in the corners of the house, I don’t get a load of spiders so I don’t know if it’s the spray or I’m just lucky. I know how you feel I dread this time if the year when the seem to come out 😭

I'd second the exposure therapy route. Start off by finding cartoon pictures of spiders and make yourself look at them, slowly increasing the time you can. From this gradually move up to real photos. You may want someone else to do the Googling to find examples! Maybe even find out interesting or bizarre facts about them. Knowledge gives power!

And then when you catch one, do it in a glass and make yourself just look at it. Make sure it's secure in there and can't escape! Using a jam jar or similar with a lid that you can put on it is good. And then just look at it. No pressure, you don't have to touch it, just gradually increase the time you can look at it. They might still make you jump but it this will really lessen the fear.

If you live near London, London Zoo do a brilliant spider phobia course.

I wouldn't say I had phobia-level fear, but when we moved into our current house I was in tears every 2 days because I was overwhelmed by the amount of spiders in the house. (We live on the water where there are a lot of flying insects = a lot of spiders to eat them).

I waged all-out war on them for about 1-2 years but no matter what I did and how much I thought I made the house impenetrable, they always came back the next spring/autumn.

So just like others have said, when I saw a massive spider chilling outside my window I started watching them and it felt easy from the other side of the glass. Then I moved onto smaller spiders inside, then bigger etc. When I find them now I still want them out of the house, but my heart isn't racing as I catch them, I can just get on with it calmly.

So I would recommend the same as the others about doing exposure therapy. I know phobias by definition are illogical (I do have it for cockroaches) but watching a small animal just go about its life doing spider-y things and ignoring me completely really put things into perspective for me.

I'm generally OK with smaller ones but I don't like the big one. You'll think I'm mad but I am less scared if I decide the spider is female and friendly, and just wants to hang out and help me by eating flies.

I talk to her nicely as I catch her in a cup and pop her outside, and say thanks for all the flies she ate but I don't want her in my bedroom.

I've also had the holding a tarantula experience and I still don't know how I did that, but I got carried along in the moment :o but it did help, because it helps me to think of a "big" spider in my house as a relatively small one really.

Also I've definitely heard a lot about things you can repel them with - have a google.

I meant "big ones". Sorry that made it sound as if there's a single legendary enormous one out there!

There's not don't worry

Following. I had a severe phobia and had hypnotherapy. It didn't cure me but honestly it was a game changer for me. I'm so so much better around them now. Still scared sometimes but way better. I have been able to sleep with the window open this summer for the first time ever. Not perfect though. Theres one in my downstairs bathroom that keeps popping out from under the wall which makes me scream so I won't use my downstairs bathroom now. I was hoping to have another hypnotherapy session before summer before all the Covid stuff happened

We used to get a lot of spiders in our old house, and once the children had collected a load of conkers and left them around the place, in the odd window here and there, and I noticed we stopped getting spiders in the house. Someone told me after I mentioned to them that we don't get spiders any more that conkers repel them. Well, it worked for us.

From reading your post, genuinely I think I am worse than you - I'm really impressed you can deal and get rid of them!

I am petrified, genuinely if I lose one and can't find it I have to leave house for the night. Ridiculous but true, not weeny ones, but anything sizeable, I am absolutely petrified! I live constantly on edge between September - Xmas. 😢😢😢