Sharing cleaning responsibility with DH

[Margo34]

Anyone else have a partner that claims they just don't 'see' dirt and untidiness?

Anyone else have a widly different interpretation of clean to their partner?

Anyone else get annoyed when partners ask if you want their help to clean/tidy? "no love, I want you to take responsibility for cleaning your own sht up and stop offering as if you're doing me a favour. You live here too shtbag!"

My DH is like this so I stopped cleaning the stuff he claimed not to notice - things like light switches, skirting boards, and doors/ windows - when they got grubby he soon did start to notice. He now cleans them too.

We reached a point the week before last where he asked why he didn't have clean pants. My answer was: "but there are no clothes waiting to be washed in the washing basket, this weeks washing has all been done."

Then last week, instead of using the laundry basket, he piled up his dirty clothes on the floor next to it. I am not his mother!! He never does my washing, he admitted to only ever having vacuumed once in our house (lived here 3 years) and has only done the bathrooms or kitchen once each in 12 months. He never changes bedsheets. I can't not do these things and wait until he notices, it wouldn't be hygienic!!! But agree lightswitches and skirting boards can wait.

How can I get him to see it needs cleaning?!!

Hi op.

You can't 'make him see'. My guess is he can see just fine but if he pulls this pathetic crap you will continue to do everything.

Just don't.

Its basic adulting. Tell him what his share is each day, no ifs or buts.

Don't allow him to disrespect you like this, because that's what it is.

Do you have children? If not, imagine just how useless he would be with them.

He doesn't need to 'see' it. Give him a list of what he needs to do. Split the chores down the middle. We split them in this house by what we prefer doing.

I shouldn't have to give him a list though, surely. I'm not his mother, I want him to take responsibility for himself! I shouldn't have to ask or tell him to clean something, do you see what I mean?

Does such a man exist in anyone else's world?

No kids currently...but one on the way. And yes I'm hoping he will step up, but know it is unlikely as it currently stands.

I did no housework or cooking for most of my three pregnancies. I was knackered, he just did the lot. Currently on mat leave so I'm doing a bit more than him, when I go back to work it will be roughly 50-50. You chap needs to step up NOW. Give him "wifework" to read and tell him he needs to pull his finger out. He can choose to use his leisure money to outsource, I suppose, but only if you have just as much leisure money at your disposal.

I have my DH and adult DS at home. They may clear up after supper, put odd things away, take ironed laundry
upstairs but I do everything else. I do it to my standards as it makes me happy. I know others would wonder why I do it all but it suits me to do so. There is no way either my DS or DH would do things as I like them and I work 25
Hours a week
And they each work 40-50.