Keeping the house clean as a working mum- what am I missing???

[shreddednips]

Hoping someone can help me with some ideas for getting our house under control I work part time as a freelancer with 1 year old DS with a childminder 3-4 days a week. My DS is extremely clingy and my husband works long hours and is unbelievably messy. I'm putting my foot down over it as best I can but really that's a whole other thread.

My friends seem to have tidy houses. They seem to cope with working and housework with small children. I'm doing what feels like my best but I'm losing the battle against the constant ocean of washing up, meal preparation, hoovering, laundry....DH problem aside I feel like there's some way of managing this that I'm missing, and it really makes me feel upset, like I'm failing.

I'd be so grateful if people could share with me their tips, routines, systems, ANYTHING to help me. I'm determined to get this sorted and have systems for keeping things relatively clean and tidy (with my DH doing his bit) before DS is old enough to pick up bad habits and ideas about mummies doing all the cleaning.

Organised mum method, it helps

Thanks! I'll have a look at it now. What I need is a very clear system.

After every meal clean up dining table/kitchen.

Before bedtime/bathtime tidy up the lounge/any downstairs areas that need it. Make your DC help you. They are old enough to pick up toys and pick them in a box. As they get older, they can do more. If necessary run the hoover around.
The idea is that when DC goes upstairs, downstairs is tidy.
If DH is around one of you can do bedtime while the other does tidying downstairs.

Make a list of about 10 meals that are quick and easy to prepare and which includes some that can be made out of normal store cupboard food. Eat them on rotation.

Before you go to bed put in a load of washing. Hang out to dry in the morning. If there's still another load in the washing machine put it on to wash while you're at work.

Have lower standards. You need hygienic, not show home.

Assign a regular time at the weekend when the whole family cleans the house. DC can be given a brush/cloth and encourage to "help". As they get older they can do more. DH must do his fair share!

I don't think anyone with small children really gets the mess under control. If we have visitors we have a mad tidy so that's probably why you think your friends houses look tidier than yours.

I aim for a basic level of hygiene, but the house is always covered in clutter and toys.

it's not 'DH problem aside'. We keep our house clean because DH is also a tidy person and does at least half the work. If he was instead creating extra mess, it would not be possible.
DH must step up, he lives there as well.

DH needs to step up or hire a cleaner to do his half.

I am a very tidy person. DH, not so much. He knows that having an untidy house drives me nuts and thus pays to have a cleaner come three a week to do essentially his half of the housework.

My best ever tip, and I can't stand mess, is to declutter. Floor wipes buy your kitchen floor a few more days. Always empty the bin before bed.

There isn't any magic cure,you just have to do it every day.

Declutter.
Baskets in every room to scoop toys into at the end of the day or if visitors are coming.
Make the bed as soon as you get up(I honestly think this sets the tone for the day)
Today away and wash up/dishwasher after every meal.
Every time you leave a room give it a quick scan to see if you can take something with you.

And repeat...

I'm not back to work yet, but have two small ones. The biggest thing for me is tidying as we go. Don't go upstairs for bath and bed until the lounge is tidy, tidy away all the bath toys before you can get out, etc.

Have a system, break it down, it doesn't take much to keep on top of it once you've got into the routine of it. I meal plan for the week and get groceries delivered online to save time.

Daily tasks (about 30mins per day)
Load of laundry (set it on timed overnight and hang it up in the morning, lay away in the evening)
Empty dishwasher
Wipe down kitchen surfaces
Tidy away all toys and stuff laying around
Possibly a quick hoover or wipe down bathroom surfaces if you have time

Weekly tasks (2 hours approx). We blast it on a Sunday together, working top of the house down.
Dust
Hoover
Clean bathroom
Mop floors
Ironing

Every couple of weeks (or longer)
Clean windows
Change beds
Clean fridge/cupboards/oven
Sort out outgrown clothes/toys etc

I've worked part time since my DS was a baby and to be honest I also struggled and my DS was never clingy. I ended up getting a cleaner and it helped enormously. I found i could keep on top of the basic tidying up and washing up/laundry as i knew my cleaner would be in every Wednesday to manage the bulk. My DS is now 6 and at school and i still have a cleaner. Its definitely worth it.

Also to add that I use Hello Fresh for our weekly meals and online shop for other household items and food stuff. Everything is delivered at my convenience.

I agree with all the good ideas but I think unless your DH accepts responsibility and tidies up after himself you'll struggle....

I personally don't accept adult's can't tidy even if they're naturally messy. It's an exvuse.

Thank you for asking this! I am in the same boat as you

I have 2 kids under 3 and work 4 days a week, husband works 6 days. Without our cleaner we would live in a tip.

She does floors (vacuum, mop), beds (changes all sheets/linen), washing (folds whatever's clean that I haven't got to, puts on new washes etc) , one bathroom, any general cleaning e.g. loading dishwasher, general tidying e g. Kids rooms, and then usually one other thing a week e.g. clean oven, clean some windows etc. She's there 3 hours. It means I just have to keep on top of basic wipe down/ tidy during week.

If you can afford a cleaner, I'd highly recommend it.

Otherwise, I'm no help to you...

The people with tidy houses and small children don’t have clingy children. They are the people who don’t understand that if you pop child into cot so you can take a shower, you will spend every second of that shower hearing them scream. Of course they have time to tidy. They aren’t constantly holding a child that gets heavier by the day.

I'm not so sure, they work round it, either shower together or at night or do as I did which was take ds into the bathroom with me and just accept it's important to have a super quick shower and if minimal screaming is involved then so be it.

I politely disagree with purple artichoke. Both my children, one in particular, were clingy and as babies would scream when put down, breastfed round the clock etc. Think it’s about getting baby/young child used to having to wait a few minutes. Otherwise you can’t get anything done and they never learn they have to wait.

When they are small slings are a godsend for a clingy child. When they are a big bigger they might like to "help" or do something like bang the pans while you clean the kitchen. You don't lose the ability to clean with a clingy child. It does take longer and you have to do it with child in tow.

Thanks for all these replies, some great tips here. I agree that DH is going to have to step up, we can't afford a cleaner and it's just not on that I'm fighting this battle alone. We've just had a frank conversation and he's agreed that he's got to pull his weight. He's now rearranged some work next week so he can come home and tackle the clutter upstairs while I work. He does improve sometimes when I get really stressed but it never lasts. I've told him this is the absolute last time I'm willing to have this conversation.

The first step is definitely to declutter. DS and I have made a start by emptying out all the kitchen cupboards and making space to put things away. Love the idea of starting to teach DC to 'help'. I've given him his own duster and he's enjoying wiping things.

Thank you thank you!

My DH was the same, i was a bit of a clean freak before having DD and the constant mess of our house was really getting to me. I wasn't expecting him to turn into a domestic god but just tidy up after himself and make a bit more effort. I proper lost it one night when i came down stairs from bathing/bedding DD and he was lying on the sofa watching tv with dirty dishes piled high at the sink and toy/clothes etc lying all round him. He's got his act together since then haha, i just don't think he could see it or it bothered him like it does me. The key is definitely to tidy as you go, wash dishes as you use them, put things away after use etc. Another thing i have found really helpful is batch cooking, try to make meals that you can double up on and freeze (if you have a decent size freezer) then you can get away with not cooking on days you're working, save's a lot of time and dishes. I also make sure to get up an hour before DD, having that bit of time to have a shower and have a quick tidy/put on a load of washing etc makes me feel so much more organised with my day.

Do this dishes or put dishwasher on every night without fail. Wash all of your clothes at the weekend. Wipe toilets and sinks when you use them. Get a robot hoover (Eufy is good). Lose your shit occasionally to get message through to husband. Lower your standards until D.C. is of school age as it gets easier then.

Each member of my family has a crate with their name on. I put stuff they have left lying around in it. When it is close to full I give it to them to empty. They get one follow up warning that the content will be binned if it isn't put away properly.

Come and join us on the Decluttering one thing a day thread! It really helps.

I chuck stuff out. Loads. More than I should. 90% of the kids art, anything that I don't really use. Or even husbands old clothes that he wouldn't chuck, but is gross and needs to go. Obviously I do recycle it or give up charity shop, but sometimes stuff goes in the bin. It's my way of coping in a smallish house.
My parents live happily in clutter so I think that's why.