How to train myself to tidy as I go?

[Times10]

It’s a recurring problem, we tidy up at the weekend, and by Monday every surface (including floors) is a tip again. I have read countless tips, and ideas, but I just can’t seem to train myself to put them into practice. So if you were messy and have leaned to be tidy how did you end up with a system that reminded you to do it? Did you have alarms as reminders? I can tidy up as I go consciously for the first hour or so after a big tidy, but invariably I forget soon after and the mess returns. I’m also rubbish at reminding the DCs until it gets to be a huge job.
In theory I know all the tricks - tidy as you go, touch only once, put it away not down, but I’m missing the part where I have a system that reminds me to do it every single time. Obviously long term I hope it gets to be second nature, but I’m no way near there yet.

The Fly Lady thing of having 15 minute blitzes helps a bit - on the grounds that you can do anything for 15 mins! Also focusing on 'hotspots' where clutter collects. Having one area that you focus on for a month or so, until it becomes a habit, eg making bed & checking floor as clear before leave bedroom in morning, wipe round basin with microfibre cloth after morning bathroom, etc. Feel like it's a ratchet effect, so over 20 yrs I get better, then slip back but not as far, so the overall trend is upwards but slow! I have learned to tidy as I go with the kitchen to some extent, but training myself is like training the kids, ie takes consistent effort!

Every time you boil the kettle quickly do something to tidy the kitchen.

You say you have tried everything but have you read the Marie Kondo book, the art of tidying? I'm not finished the process yet but am getting there: have completed clothes, books and papers and now moving onto the various miscellaneous categories. With each category i tidy and discard through i can see how we are getting tidier as a household. Things are starting to have a place where they belong and that in turn makes it easier to tidy. If you haven't tried it i highly recommend it. She talks in the book about why we find ourselves tidying all the time and the reasons for it.

Never leave a room empty handed.
Glance around a room as you’re leaving and tidy/straighten anything that isn’t in its place.

Tidy up at "transition times"- leaving the house, sitting down to a meal, going to bed.

All you need to do is a quick glance around everytime you finish with a space for the time being, and straighten it up, moving dishes and rubbish to the kitchen and bin. It doesn't need to be immaculate, just make sure nothing is there that shouldn't be there.

If your children have loads of toys out, occasionally just a mini tidy up of things theyre finished with can make the proper tidy up a bit more manageable.

Maybe I should have an alarm twice a day to tidy up (I’m a SAHM so being messy is a real issue!) a la fly lady style. I saw her baby steps but keep jumping ahead and failing miserably as the system isn’t ingrained.
I did follow Kondo 3 years back, got rid of huge amounts, but since then everything is piling back up again, as we’ve had another DC, and the older DCs are just magnets for more stuff coming in all the time! So I guess I’m going to have to start again at the beginning!

The kettle tip and the leaving room empty handed are what I know I should do, but keep forgetting in the moment. Maybe I need posters up to remind me... which will look ridiculous around the house but might be enough to help me do it.

I’ve never managed to use transition times before(I’ve tried, but not successfully), but I think it’s because I need to practice it more. I’m always envious of people who just do it as par of the course , as it’s not something that comes naturally to me.
I’d gain so much time if I could get a grip on this!

I basically need someone following me saying ‘Oi! Did you mean to leave this there?!’ every 5 seconds.

This used to be me! But we moved house and I had a massive clear out. Now everything has a place, we don't buy anything unless it's to replace or we know where it will go, any clutter that comes in goes straight back out the door. Because everything is so reduced we actually have space and it's far easier to keep it tidier. I think you'll then find it much easier to stick to putting away if you do this. It also helps if things go away easily (e.g. you don't have to move the iron to put the pegs away or whatever). Read Marie Kondo's book - it helped me massively.

I think I’ll need to read Kondo again, as it really helped but I haven’t been able to stay on top of it (story of my life it seems)

OP I’m the same
I don’t need a cleaner but I find it very hard not to create mess in my small flat.

I got the impression the Kondo book was no help with that?

Reluctantly, I am going to store some things at mum’s house. I don’t ha e tons of clothes or anything, but just being able to shift winter/summer will free up a suitcase sized space in the small wardrobe.

For me a change just seemed to happen in me. At some point in my 20's I felt rewarded and relaxed having a clear house, or at least an organised one. Everything else felt more manageable without chaos around me. Before that I may have wanted to tidy but got nothing out of the result. If you like something you do it. Pretty much a universal principle. If you feel pleasure and calm with a tidied up house you'll tidy it. Any other reason might not be enough to compel you or cause a real change in your habits.

Well it helped as less stuff = easier to keep on top of things, but we seem to have gone back to too much stuff, and it didn’t help me keep on top of the tidy as I go issue. But then I didn’t get to the end of the categories, and the ones I did do got undone as stuff started coming back in.

You wouldnt need a poster to remind you to tidy up while the kettle boils. A small reminder - e.g. a pink post it note on the top of the kettle, or a blob of blue tack on the button - will be enough just to jog your memory.

Work from home. Then you're surrounded by it so you can't help but tidy up as you go (worked for me anyway lol)

Yes, I saw this quote ‘if it’s important to you, you’ll find a way, if not you’ll find excuses’ so it’s definitely a mind issue, but I wish something would click, as I seem to spend so much time catching up instead of moving forward.

I think I’ll try the post-it for this week and see if that helps!

Donna, I’m a SAHM so I basically am surrounded by it, and even that hasn’t worked so far, apart from stressing me out when I realise I’ve let it slip into chaos again.

Haha I'm like you OP! Have recently tried to conquer laundry mountain by taking up and putting away a minimum of 3 items every time I go upstairs. It's worked the last 2 weeks but I am crap at keeping up with these things.

I will be watching this with interest as I am not very good at doing it either. Although the last few days I have been trying to clear the surface in the kitchen after breakfast, lunch and dinner and that has been helping make it look less messy.

Hopefully this is the year we finally manage to crack this!

I think you should set the alarms.

Yeah, I probably need multiple reminders, so alarms and post it notes together.

First:

A place for everything and everything in its place. Clear out any junk til everything has a home.

Then
Don't put it down ... put it away. Just don't put anything down ever. If it makes no sense to put it away, it probably needs a new home.

I used to be very messy and now I'm not. I wouldn't call myself tidy, but I'm ever embarrassed by how my house looks if people turn up unannounced - which they do frequently

I didn't introduce a system - I just started to get irritated by the sight of mess. So, for example, right now, I'm on the sofa, and have just had a cup of tea and a slice of toast. Old me would have left the plate and cup on the table for a while, but now me will put them in the dishwasher as soon as I get up from the sofa for whatever reason. The kitchen is clean and tidy because after dinner, I almost left the dishes in the sink (dishwasher needed emptied) but then I thought about tomorrow morning and how happy I would be to come down to a clean space for breakfast.

I don't know how you could achieve that mindset on purpose, but that's what changed for me. I'm quite old now, though - you're probably about 30. I was really messy when I was 30

I guess I’m heading in the right direction then, as it’s really starting to annoy me! Possibly more than before, so there’s hope yet that it’ll spur me into action!
Before bed I’ve cleared the dining table and emptied the dishwasher, so let’s see how long this lasts!