Rock Bottom

[Meckity1]

I can't tell you how bad the house is. I am completely overwhelmed. I need to get the house emptied for a rewire. I also have some seriously important professional opportunities going on so I should be concentrating on them - but I need to clean the house!

I need to somehow juggle everything, and I am failing badly. So I'm making a post on here, and I plan to come back every day to just jot down anything I've done to get the house better.

Marie Kondo and Fly Lady haven't really worked for me in the past, but I think if I'm holding myself to account on here then at least I'll get something done.

I'm not a regular on here, but I hope it's okay to do this. I'm just desperate to try and make myself accountable. So I'm sort of happy to be ignored.

How bad is it?

Ordering skips bad, or just a few bum bags of crap bad?

Bin bags 😂

Its easy to feel totally overwhelmed.
Could you prioritise the parts of the house which make the most difference? So the areas you use for cooking/laundry and bathroom or whichever area affects your mood most?

in terms of the re-wire, can you get this done in an easier way? Upstairs first maybe? Hard to empty a whole house if you are busy with work projects.

An electrician told me recently that rewiring isn’t as messy as it used to be. Something about fancy new equipment. I don’t remember more, but when we talked about getting our place done recently, he said would t need to move much for this reason. Or are you hoarding and they can’t get to the walls?

What is your time scale?
I know how you feel, we were about to have a new kitchen fitted last year, when my Dad died. We had to empty everything out at the same time as planning the funeral.
In the last 12 months since, we’ve had to empty each room in turn for plastering, new flooring etc.,
I’ve lost the will to start putting things back together and doing the declutter I'd hoped for before it all began.
But you can get through it. Bit by bit. I find the only way is to concentrate on one small area at a time with a goal to what you want to achieve just in the time you have. If you then achieve that, it’s one thing less to do and slowly but surely you’ll get through it.
I’ve just sorted through Dads house (taken me a year to motivate myself! I really didn’t want to do it) and have felt such a sense of achievement and feel so proud of myself, like I’ve done it for him and the house looks lovely now. Good luck.

OP as someone who has had houses rewired before I would say that cleaning is the last thing you should be doing. The dust will be horrendous. But yes the emptier - the better.

A skip for the crap and a nice neighbour/friend or family for precious stuff. Cover everything that can't be moved with some kind of protective sheeting and seal up kitchen cupboards and wardrobes with tape - the dust will literally get everywhere.

Do you have a shed or garage you can temporarily move stuff to? Rope in friends, family to help.

One room at a time - you can do this

Thank you for all the lovely responses, I wasn't really expecting them.

The house is just full as well as messy and dirty. I'm making calls about whether I would actually use the yarn/read the book/wear the clothing and when I actually get around to it I get rid to tip/charity shop. I need to lose a lot of my son's outgrown clothes as well.

We are hoping to get the house decorated as well (I can't do it) so perhaps moving to AirBnB for a few weeks while the whole lot happens. House hasn't been decorated for 20 years.

Timing - If I put the washer and the dryer on and then plug in the iron, all the lights go out. I can't use the main oven (electric) without losing all the power sockets downstairs. My son has important exams in February so I suppose I need to act immediately after then.

Sorry if I have missed anyone.

Have you had the electrics all checked? It may be that there are some wiring faults that can be fixed rather than it needing a full rewire?

@trickyex I've had a bad feeling about the wiring for a while. We moved in over twenty years ago, and it's become very obvious over the years that it was originally an amateur job. Lightbulbs never last long in any room, so I think it's the whole house.

Last year they found that something wasn't earthed properly and that something (didn't understand what) was attached to the general, massively high voltage main source. Northern Electric were called in and we ended up getting a new fuseboard and earthing whatever it was to the water pipe.

DH and I are in our fifties and have come in to some money. The idea is that we get the place rewired and decorated with carpets (only one room has been re-carpeted in over twenty years and they are down to threads) and then we don't have to worry into retirement.

I'll have a think about getting the other parts of the house tested, but I sort of want it done, so I don't have to worry about it.

Just wanted to say it's really a good idea to do it now in your 50's as my in-laws can't face the upheaval of any DIY now they're in their 70's

OP sounds like a good plan.
Could you enlist some help to get things organised?
We can give virtual support and advice but its not quite the same as lugging boxes around (something I have done far too much of the past 20 years, so I really sympathise).

Yarn. Go on Freecycle and Freegle and offer it to someone who is knitting blankets for charity or something. Just get rid.

Books. Split into batches of about 30 and pick out the ones that you must keep. Out of print or first editions are either keep or sell.

Novels you have read, charity shop.

Cookbooks, unless you use them or are Keep or Sell, charity shop.

Anything that you feel you don't want but should have, charity shop.

Do the same until you have three lots. Keep, Sell and Charity shop.

Put the Keep ones on your bookshelf. Get rid of the rest - Book bank or specialist charity bookshop for the CS ones. Sell, stick them on ebay or take to a book dealer.

Clothes - take everything out of the cupboards and do the same as you did for the books.

If it doesn't fit, you forgot you had it, or you never wear it, get rid. Only keep things that you hardly ever wear if they are special occasion standbys.

Put the clothes you want to keep back in cupboards.

Bag up rubbishy clothes like unmended things, laddered tights, old socks and knackered stuff with barely any life in them as Rags.

Bag up sellable things for the CS.

Anything with a desirable label, stick on ebay.

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Load the car and make trip(s) to the charity shops in your area.

Do you have any local storage places? When i had major stuff done one the house i found it easier to put everything in storage then sort it before it came back into the house. Double motivation of paying for storage and any stuff coming back i to my lovely clear house worked for me.

OP this sounds like it's intimidating but hugely worthwhile. It'll feel like you've got a new house at the end of it! Please do keep us updated.

If you're spending several thousand on the house, you could consider whether it's worth spending a small proportion of that on hiring in help (man with a van, a storage unit, paying a removals company to send a packet for the day, skip hire. Watch YouTube videos by removals companies on how to pack boxes properly. And just go for it. Start in one corner of a room and work round systematically. I find setting a timer is a good way of speeding yourself up. Estimate how much stuff you can do in 10 mins and race the timer. Is your partner pitching in? You might find you work so much faster if you do the same room together.

Just wanted to say it's really a good idea to do it now in your 50's as my in-laws can't face the upheaval of any DIY now they're in their 70's

That's like saying, you'd better do something in your teens because you won't be arsed in your 30s!

It isn't because teenagers are more likely to get rid of things because it's not cool. In your 30s you will have family clutter. By your 70s you will have a lifetime's worth, and it will be daunting, or will be left to your children to sort out after you can no longer deal with it.

I was a minimalist teenager but by my 30s I was a hoarder.

You might take a look at unfuckyourhabitat.com

Thanks for the link @cakeandchampagne

Thank you for all the support - it's amazing. I wasn't expecting much feedback because it's a big job, and I can see me saying lots of stuff like 'yes, but...' which is really dispiriting.

@helpfulperson I've had a thread in Chat, where I'm thinking about getting a storage unit, and I'm thinking of shedding as much furniture as possible.

@Goldwispa - I feel that it's now or never.

@BarbeDwyer - those are some great ideas. There are some great charity shops on the school run, so I can drop off regularly.

@MistressMind - I don't have family and I'm a little isolated. For various reasons, it's just me. Husband and son are sort of in the background. It is what it is. I'm just really grateful that I've had so many replies on this thread and some great ideas.

Thank you so much!

Ah sorry I misunderstood/assumed about your family. And you don't have to keep responding to everyone individually, though it's lovely that you have.

So which room are you going to tackle first?

@MistressMind - For loads of reasons, it's just me working around a husband and son, but the benefit is that I can do things my way and work to my timetable. Today I am going to work in the kitchen. It's not about cleaning there (thought that is needed). It's just that there is so much stuff and nowhere to put anything.

Plan today is to sort out all the glass for recycling, which I can drop off during the school run. I will be honest, I'm not sure where to start as it feels like I have to move x to get to y, but I have to move z to get to x but I have to move y to get to z.

I have four car tyres stashed in a cubby hole (not my choice). I think I will move them, then I can use that space to store cleaning stuff (currently randomly scattered around), and sort of move around from there.

Sort of typing out loud here. I have some tyres painted and stacked in my garden with honeysuckle in them. I would sort of like to add to them. But I would also sort of not, but if I got rid of the tyres now, it would be hard to replace them if I changed my mind. We have the tyres because husband wrote off cars (not really his fault) and so I don't know if it would be easy to replace them if I changed my mind.

I didn't get much done yesterday, but I intend to come back and post any successes. Thank you for your support.

That sounds like a plan. I know what you mean about shifting everything round but it's inevitable that things get worse before they get better. Tell yourself that's just what progress looks like and tidy back as best you can at the end of the day. Good luck!

I've helped by best friend, who is a hoarder de clutter when she had to move house and it was very difficult.

Things she found helpful we're

Don't associate items with money spent. It's spent now, keeping the item isn't going to bring back the money. It doesn't make a difference if it was expensive if you don't like or need it.

Don't feel you have to keep things that other people have given you if you don't like or need them.

Don't focus too much on how you are going to dispose of things. You need to concentrate on deciding what goes and what stays. That's more important on where things are going to go when they have left your home.