How long is it since you changed your extractor hood filter?

[Slubberdegullion]

3 months? 6 months? Over a year? Not sure you have done it since you had the kitchen re done 6 years ago?

Well I have just three words to say about its probable contents.....

rancid fat globules

I have smelt and seen many bad bad things in my life (including a goat during post mortem, and wet gangrenous toes). This may beat them to the top of the list of things that make me go 'ugk memrmr oh bleeeerrk eckkkkkk'.

Go and replace it now. You know you need to.

yeh..oozing maggots but dh quite quick witted and stopped them all dropping, leapt up with parcel tape and sealed the gap...

well ..that was after we noticed all the wrigglying in the loo seat cover furry affair thing...

thankfully it was saturday...

the pigeon claw came ..fan,not working right and one morning took cover off and grey marbled claw was sticking down.... and i so screamed ...not really a screamer at all...was petrified and it looked petrified..literally!
took me a few seconds to work out what it was in morning blurr...

after two rentokil visits that did not identify problem but really nice bloke..
dh and contractors fixed it all..finally..it was the beginning of the end when my parents came for 12 nights......just a few flies here and there

actually only everfew flies big slow feckers but looked like horseflies easy to swipe..oh, why did mum use my bath book to kill the flies daddy..i heard that more than once...first thing to hand was my i 'dealt with crisis succesfully' reply

as i say can laugh now..especailly at your horror too.....,

yeh..oozing maggots but dh quite quick witted and stopped them all dropping, leapt up with parcel tape and sealed the gap...

well ..that was after we noticed all the wrigglying in the loo seat cover furry affair thing...

thankfully it was saturday...

the pigeon claw came ..fan,not working right and one morning took cover off and grey marbled claw was sticking down.... and i so screamed ...not really a screamer at all...was petrified and it looked petrified..literally!
took me a few seconds to work out what it was in morning blurr...

after two rentokil visits that did not identify problem but really nice bloke..
dh and contractors fixed it all..finally..it was the beginning of the end when my parents came for 12 nights......just a few flies here and there

actually only everfew flies big slow feckers but looked like horseflies easy to swipe..oh, why did mum use my bath book to kill the flies daddy..i heard that more than once...first thing to hand was my i 'dealt with crisis succesfully' reply

as i say can laugh now..especailly at your horror too.....,

GROSS>
TMI!!!!!

Message withdrawn

'wriggling loo seat cover' WTF.

Have just had shower. Scrubbed hands with nice Molten Brown eucalyptum exfoliator stuff. Hands still smell of rancid fat. It has impregnated my skin.

Amputation.

It's the only way.

Or you could rub you hands in garlic and curry powder to disguise the rancid fat smell?

Hang on - don't baby wipes clean everything off everything?

was thinking about maybe cleaning out crisper drawer sans gloves to see if the evil smelling brown liquid might counteract the death fat smell

(2 wrongs may make a right in smell world)

I was uncontrollably seized by the desire to instantly recify the hideous sluttish hood situation.

I am paying for my mistake. Did not put the 7 P's into place

(prior preparation and planning prevents piss poor performance)

I was once uncontrollably seized by the desire to clean out a cupboard, which promptly fell apart. Only the dirt was holding it together.

Henceforth, I have reserved my uncontrollable seizing for inappropriate men.

There is a lesson to be learned here, sisters.

God knows what it is though.

lol trolley

Fills up bathroom fan with old toothpaste as we don't have any bricks.

HAve resolved to live off takeaways and raw food.
And will now only bathe/ shower at public baths.
Therefore avoiding the neeed to clean any household appliances.

caviar is off for a while too....
sorry if tmi..

kerry..it adds an extra frission to domestic life

My fingers still reek. I wonder if meths and then setting them on fire might help remove the stench.

It will. But remember to put the extractor fan on before you light your fingers