Help me please before I cry (again)

[notsurewhattotype]

Hope this is in the right thread, it's long but i need help, here goes....
I can not get organised/stay tidy/motivate myself to tackle life!!
I have PND & anxiety, DS is 19 months old and I work part time and DP works full time. We are knackered all the time but i'm fed up of living unorganised/in a mess but I don't know where to start.
As i'm getting better i'm trying to establish myself as mum/partner and home owner. DP is great and he does more than half of the chores but I really want to be proud of my home and want to take on more of the jobs, this will help with my recovery and take some stress off my DP.
We decided to get a cleaner to come once a week for 3 hours to hoover/mop and dust and i do the washing every other day (don't iron unless needed) I hoover every day as life with a toddler is messy but cleaner will move furniture and do it properly.
I need your tips on how to run a home as i have completely forgotten since PND, everything seems overwhelming and i know once i crack on with it i will get back into the swing of things but I need to have structure and a routine to help.
Please, please, please send me any tips/ideas/suggestions/budget/lists/to-do/hacks/must do
Thanks for reading this (smile)

Bumping this for you. I'm a bit overwhelmed too so would like some ideas.

Have you had a look at The Organised Mum Method? Daily maintenance and designed to fit around small kids, I think.

You’re feeling overwhelmed because it’s really overwhelming having a toddler, a job and a house! I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better though, that’s the most important thing. Maybe make a list of your main priorities every day? And of course, make sure everything has a place.
But mainly, look after yourself and enjoy your lovely family.

My routine:
Monday - all bathrooms cleaned (we have 3). This includes sinks, baths, showers, tiles, floors, etc.
Tuesday - laundry (washed and dried).
Wednesday - kitchen cleaned (including utility room) and both floors mopped.
Thursday - laundry (washed and dried).
Friday - living room cleaned. All carpets vacuumed.
Saturday - all beds stripped and washed. Bedrooms cleaned, if needed.
Sunday - any extra laundry done. Ironing.

I mop/vacuum floors less now as my children are all in their teens and relatively well house trained! They help with some things such as emptying bins, loading dishwasher, putting away dishes, etc. Having a set task on a certain day helps me keep track of everything. Plus concentrating on one room at a time makes it feels less overwhelming. I would rather run up the street naked than clean a entire house from top to bottom.

Keep the cleaner for as long as you can - if she is dusting etc then you can concentrate on something else. It seems a big step now but once you start and break it down into smaller, more manageable, tasks it will become easier. Also, don't make more work for yourself than you need to. Hope you feel better soon.

Get a cleaner.

She is babysharkah

I also think looking at organized mum, Tomm method would be a good start. She has a Facebook book and a website.
It is a little and often housework method which focuses on one area a day.
I am a rubbish housewife and don't always follow it but it does help and provides a structure to cleaning throughout the week.
She has a messy boot camp you can start with.

Declutter first it will make it so much easier to keep things clean and tidy if you get rid of the clutter and have a place for everything.

@BluntAndToThePoint
Can I ask, do you work full time and do this? If so, I genuinely take my hat off to you. Admittedly my children are still very young but, by the time I've got home, fed them, done homework, bath and bedtime, the last thing I'd want to do is to clean all three of my bathrooms. But reading this makes me think perhaps I should

@Carpetburns Yes, I work 35 hours a week. The point I was trying to make (possibly not very well!) was that once you start the initial routine it actually becomes almost second nature. None of the above takes up too much time and I am a firm believer in the notion that you shouldn't do more housework than you need to, eg if it doesn't need to be ironed it isn't done - life is too short to iron kids pyjamas; 3 beds are stripped in a matter of minutes each; laundry is put in the machine in the morning and dried when I get home or washed during the night and hung out on the line before I go to work - depending on the weather.

A boxclever calendar which everything goes on. Get rid of as much stuff as you can. Once done, do it agsin!!! Spend time on lists and methods. Shop online.

Just to say that although having a routine is great, I find what really helps a couple of times a week is to have a 'Power 10' (sorry for the cheesy name, I had to sell it as a concept to the kids!). Put on some music, set a timer and just tidy as hard as you can for 10 minutes. It gets a surprising amount done in a really small space of time.
My home will never be perfect, but it's doable in short, sharp bursts. Don't put yourself under too much pressure, you sound like you're doing an amazing job already.

If you have a cleaner and dh does more than half of the housework then I would try and find ways to relax and work on your anxiety. The house sounds in good shape. Totally agree with decluttering and finding storage solutions to ease the burden of cleaning. Getting rid of a loaf of stuff lately has helped me so much.

Also batch cook as much as you can.. double up when you are cooking. That will free up time.

I put a wash on every evening then take it out and put it in dryer or on the line before work, even if it's a half load - stops a huge build up. I deep clean bathroom and loo at the weekend, wipe over both daily. Hoover every other day and empty bins, deep clean kitchen once a week but wipe over everyday.

Just try and keep on top of it all, I have no choice as I work 50 hours M-F plus one in four Saturdays. DH helps too.

The organised mum. I watch her on YouTube and she gives me so much motivation it's a game changer. You only do 30 mins a day.
The website also has print outs with tick list.

Honestly, I would concentrate on your mental health and maybe spend more time on yourself, a walk in the fresh air, some gentle exercise.

If you have a cleaner for 3 hours a week is there really that much to do the rest of the time in a household of three?

And, unless you have pets, why hoover every day? I spend very little time on housework, I don’t live in a tip, I do think people can become obsessive about cleaning, one of the most important things is to ruthless about ‘clutter’.

I agree with Ragowrt, OP, cleaning can become obesessive. The organised mum is for someone who has no cleaner. And some people on the site clean way more than is healthy (I say this as someone who was obsessed when I had PND).

So, you and your DH need to declutter over a long weekend or 2 normal weekends and get rid of all you can to charity or store it away.

Then have some nice toy boxes for your toddler toys. Tidy them once per day when toddler is gone to bed.

With a cleaner and you both working, you must not spend too much time in your house so it should be relatively clean.

And as others have said, spend time on you and your DH and little one - as a mum of 3 I can tell you this time flies by and you will have loads of time to have the perfect house when they are old enough to help you.

Good luck op.

Hopefully at 19 months your toddler is just getting to the stage where "helping" with chores doesn't end up with them making more mess.
Personally I think it's really important that you try to get some downtime when they sleep. So try doubling up at other points in the day. They might be able to help you unload the dishwasher/ dry the dishes/ hang the washing. Cleaning the bathroom can mostly be done whilst they are in the bath. Cut up cloths to make them ones they can use to help with dusting etc
Good luck and remember to be proud of yourself for each thing you achieve.

The cleaner should take care of the bulk of the cleaning. Hoover or brush the floors at the end of the day and wipe down bathroom surfaces etc every second day - should take no more than 10 minutes. My top tips are:

1. Eliminate clutter. Really think about the stuff you have and try to keep surfaces clutter free.

1. Have a place for everything and put it in that place. So all paperwork goes into one basket. All newspapers go in one place until read and then into the recycling. Try not to have stops along the way - so don't just drop the post on the table after you open it. Instead open it and put it in the basket. Don't put cup in the sink, put it straight into the dishwasher.

1. Have a couple of big toyboxes that you can bung all the toys into at the end of the evening.

1. If you don't iron (and I don't either) then put clothes away as quickly as possible so there aren't any piles of laundry.

1. Have your cleaner change the bed for you.

Getting rid of clutter and mess is really helpful for mental health imo. I agree with those saying don't get too hung up on cleaning but I also think a relatively clean, clutter-free house is very calming.

Try to stop caring about having a perfect home. Its bad for kids to not be exposed to some dirt as it can cause allergies and they wont remember an organised house when older. But they will appreciate a chilled out mum. Have a cupboard to hide clutter and mess you find annoying. Dont worry about having organised drawers, just keep things in the same drawer. Noone sees them when they are closed anyway. Spend 10 mins at end of day tidying one room for you to chill in. Prioritise finding things to make you smile over cleaning

Feeling the same lately so will be place marking. This hot weather makes cleaning even worse. This is what I’m currently doing; I clean all bathrooms everyday (have three), put a wash on, spray kitchen sides and brush kitchen floor. The rest I do when I can after work, homework, dinners, baths and book time. Saturday is the changing of bedding. My deep clean is usually Sundays.