How to get DCs to tidy up... without a fight?!

[Times10]

The DCs room is a pit. Literally. Every time we finally try and sort it we fill a bag of recycling and broken toys. Luckily they are too young to bring food/drinks upstairs as I’d have to wear a hazard suit!

The problem is that as soon as we tell them to tidy up they scream the house down. Even if we’re helping them, and directing them (DC1, put the books away, DC2, put the soft toys away, I’ll sort out the clothes, for example) it’s a constant battle, and I just can’t face doing that every day. But everything is getting damaged, and they are now spreading their toys downstairs/on the stairs/ everywhere and never put them away.

I know I need to set up a system so that they put things away every day, but I honestly don’t know where to start, as I just cannot stand being shouted at all the time.

We’ve given them plenty of storage space, and we aren’t regularly buying more stuff as they can’t look after what they already have. We try to get them to declutter ever so often, but that’s once again a fight.

DCs are 7 and 4, and are old enough to follow instructions.

How do you get them to do what needs to be done without a fight?

The only useful piece of advice I ever received off my MIL was this.

Sort the toys out into those big plastic tubs. Put all but 2 tubs away, and leave 2 for the kids to play with with. Change the tubs after a week. rotate weekly.

This way

1. The kids actually play with the toys.
2. It's just 2 tubs to fill when putting stuff away.

Do you think this might work for you?

Watching with interest!
I've spent this afternoon clearing out DD1 and DD2's rooms. The amount of stuff I've picked off the floor, rescued from down the side of the bed and so on is ridiculous.

Two tubs sounds like a great idea.

print out a chore chart like this for each dc. then, write up different aspects of tidying up. eg: on dc1's chart: clothes, dolls, blocks. they have to pick the things up on their list all that week, and every day if everything is put away on their list, they get a star. if they fill up all their star boxes for the week, they get a tiny treat (eg: a sweet treat), and if all their boxes for the month are filled up, they get a reward (eg: trip to the petting zoo). it may also help to label the boxes. all the best x

I find breaking it down into manageable tasks works (sometimes). So often I'll tell them to put away 10 things from the surfaces into the cupboards or drawers. Each morning I make sure that they make their beds, it's part of their routine. If they leave a load of stuff in the living room then I given them 20 minutes to clear it and say what is left is getting binned But sometimes, I feel your pain and they can be infuriating!

The storage boxes might work, but we'd have to reorganise the whole house to take them out of their room. At the moment we have all the toys in kallax bookcases and boxes that fit the kallax, so they aren't lidded, so can't stack them if they are out of the bookcases.

I like the idea of the chore chart for the week. I will try that. If they could tidy up a little every day we wouldn't have half the problem we do now.

I almost think if we had a timetable it would be a lot easier to keep on top of things, but it feels so rigid, but could be worth a try, as I think my eldest likes to have order in the day (if not the bedroom)

We use an egg timer. We all frantically tidy for 5 minutes and try and get everything put away before the timer goes off. If we 'win' then they get a treat (usually an extra bit of time watching YouTube or playing electronics) if the timer goes off before the toys are put away then no screen time

They’re too young to keep their rooms tidy if they’ve got so much stuff

I would start by culling loads. Don’t buy more storage without trying to get rid first.

We have a box downstairs for each child where their stuff goes. Every so often we take the box upstairs for the kids with help/ supervision put the toys away. Youngest has each storage drawer labelled ie. Lego, cars etc so he knows where they go and it makes tidying quicker it also mimics what happens at school. Everything need it's place and regular charity shop runs. The kids tidy their own rooms but in the case of the youngest he is encouraged and supervised.

We try the tidy up song on YouTube, but it's really hit or miss whether it'll work. And that's after they've screamed for 10 minutes.

We are trying to get them to get rid of stuff, and I automatically throw away any broken toys, but the eldest has hoarding tendencies, so it's one step forward 2 steps back.

We have labelled all the boxes, and (almost) everything has a home when it's all tidied up, although we do have a miscellaneous basket for random stuff that they seem to collect.

Here's a hint: You don't have to tell them when you bin stuff. My youngest would keep hold of every scrap of paper, picked up twig and painted stone and elastic band if they could. I put stuff in an out of the way place and if they don't ask for it over a coupld of weeks then it gets binned. I currently have a load of drawings and a bag of 'clay' that's going in the bin Friday as it hasn't been 'missed'. Broken toys also get binned in this fashion (if they are beyond repair).

Sounds like my eldest! I’ve given them a lidded box to store their making things, but the lid has to be able to close, so hopefully that’ll help the living area.

Ours have a drawer each for their 'things'. Usually full of paper, bit of loom band bracelets, happy meal toys, party bag bits etc often they'll put random bit of other toys in when tidying. If we're putting stuff away and they ask where something belongs if it's not Lego or playmobil or something else that had a 'home' it goes in the drawer. When it full they have to decide if what to do with what's in the drawer so they can put other things in - Usually a drawing or something . But we sort through and decide what stays or goes, anything in the drawer that's got a home gets put away properly. It's a way for them to tidy easily - doesn't meant they always tidy willingly. The threat of the Hoover is great motivation for a tidy floor, anything left gets hovered for good.

Cull way more than you think.

It shouldn't take more than 10 mins to tidy away all toys. If it takes longer there is too much stuff.

Reduce all art stuff down to enough of each colour, the rest put away in box to replace when they run out or donate to refuge

Soft toys - just enough for favorites on bed, with odd extra on shelf. Donate the rest.

Make sure each kallax square is only half full. Then they have space to easily tidy without having to organise so it fits properly.

Donate gifts they received but never use, or sell and use profit to buy them an annual pass somewhere instead

Personally, I think trying to get them to help is an issue so initially I would go through the room without them.

get rid of broken toys, cull soft toys and find the toys they never use to donate/sell. Sort all other toys out into storage and take half away (to rotate in a few weeks). Same with books - anything damaged to recycling, baby books to charity, toddler books in a box, books for older dc in a box. Sort clothes and put in proper places. Small box/drawer each for 'special treasures'. Once all that is done, that should be the starting point for how it is going forward and should help them.

I'm in the process of taking my own advice - mine are slightly older now (10 & 7) but I am in the process of getting rid of approx. 85% of our toys - the 7 yr old understands full well that he has a lots of toys and most he doesn't play with so is happy to see them go to new homes.

Thanks for all the tips!
I’m hoping we can set up a system during the summer holidays so that by next school year we’ve sorted a working routine.