Please help me give myself a stern talking to

[HalyardHitch]

My amazing friend is due at nine. Love her to bits but her house is always pristine. My place is currently a hovel.

I have been up since four with my clingy sixteen month old and DH and ds1 are still in bed. The two year old has some health issues and so is as volatile and emotional as they come.

I have to get this place tidy and sorted for my own sanity and my own pride. I'd also quite like a shower.

I'm on my own in this as DH has to go to London this weekend (although coming home to sleep) and has important exams.

I'm sat here not knowing where to start as the second I get up the baby (he is still a baby, he doesn't yet walk) will start screaming at me. Also need to make minimal noise until toddler is awake. I really can't risk waking him.

Just want to cry

I wasn't really sure where to put my post

Arrange to meet your friend outside your home? It won't solve your house problem but it will take the pressure off this weekend and it sounds like you could do with someone else cooking for you. Go to a cafe or something?

Either that or warn your friend that the house is a mess and you'll need to buzz round and have a shower when she's arrived and can entertain the kids?

Will your littlest one watch a bit of television whilst you whizz round? If you can’t put them down without getting upset there’s not much you can do until the toddler wakes.

Start making a mental list of the order in which you want to tackle things.

Living room: toys picked up and put away, quick hoover, washing airer moved out.
Kitchen: dishwasher loaded and on, quick load of washing up if needed, table cleared or just tidied and wiped down.
Loo: Quick swish and swipe round, clean the loo and the sink and wipe the mirror down. Tidy the kids toys in the bath if you have a tidy.

Just the above will make the house presentable enough. You can do this! I set myself tasks and set my timer for 5 minutes and see how much progress I can make in that time, it’s v satisfying.

I'd love to meet her out but I worry that the two year old won't be well enough. He lay on the floor and cried most of yesterday morning. He just won't cope if we're out, he feels too poorly. Making me want to cry just thinking about it

@furble that's a really useful list, thank you. I've not even swept the floor under the table after dinner last night. I guess that's what's adding to my feeling of disgust

How good a friend is she ? She is coming to see you and not your house . Your house sounds lived in and not a home.
Stick 16 month old in high chair and stick on peppy pig or some other rubbish if that would entertain him for 19 mins while you clean kitchen . Amazing what you can do when stuck for time .

If she is as amazing as you say she honestly won't care. And I say that as the one with the nearly always tidy home. I actually feel more relaxed in other people's homes when they are more 'lived in'. Just get the washing up done or stashed in the dishwasher and wipe down the worktop around the kettle.

If I turned up and my friend was still in pjs or half dressed I'd offer to watch the kids while she got ready. I have actually done this. Don't be afraid to show when you could do with some help.- it takes a village after all!

I've swept the floor and pushes all dishes to one side in the kitchen. Wiped those surfaces and dumped all the clean washing at the bottom of the stairs.

I have car seats and bases in my kitchen right now which isn't helping matters but at least it'll make a.massive difference when I get them out.

I'm so jealous of my husband having his peaceful shower right now. I've made breakfast for me and the boys but it's turned my stomach so I'm not eating.

I feel so dragged down by my son's health. We have a hospital appointment in less than two weeks and the closer we get to it the less I'm coping

I’ve always found the oven a good hiding place for dirty dishes!

Dont sweep - Hoover. When I realised this it was brilliant - I'll even run the Hoover attachment over the worktops before spraying and wiping picks everything up.
Give the littles a baby wipe or cloth each and ask them to help you clean (ds loves this and will happily wipe skirtings or the floor Haha)
Throw things out of the room you and friend will spend most time, and then sit.

I didn't think I should hoover scrambled egg boys are cuddled up on the sofa watching peppa. For them, it's highly unusual. I'm just toying with the idea of leaving them downstairs for five minutes so I can grab a quick shower. 1y 4m and 2y 4m. Hmm I reckon they'd be ok

Get your DH to watch them!

He's left for London already. Kitchen basics done.

They're up to mischief now so they'll have to come up with me.

Toddler thankfully seems to be feeling well this morning

Bless you. Try not to worry. Anything you do tidy and clean now will only be a mess again by tonight so do the bare minimum to make yourself feel better about it and don’t stress. Your friend won’t care. Don’t compare yourself to them, a pristine life is a frustrated life in my opinion. It’s understandable with 3 little ones, with 1 of them being unwell, that you’re not living in a show home.
I like to do superficial cleans. Get a scented candle burning, Hoover quickly, dishwasher on and wipe sides, bleach down the loo and move the car seats. You’ll feel much better once that’s done x

Be really honest with your friend she won't judge you she might even offer to help. I went to my sister's a few weeks back and she was in utter chaos and virtually in tears.it was all getting too much for her.

I made her a cup of tea and said I'd help her out. I spent three hours doing washing hoovering and tidying for her and when I left she was so much happier.
I doubt your friend will do that but she might distract the children so you can have 1/2 hour to get some stuff done.

My friend has been and gone. It was nice to have company and a natter. My toddler was on fine form which was great. He's often very volatile due to his medical condition. I'm supposed to be dieting but I've bought myself a big bag of crisps from the shop and the boys a bag of crisps to share with their lunch.

There are toys everywhere and a mountain of clean washing upstairs but at least the essentials have been done.

Thank you all so much. Maybe I could do with a general support thread

Well done OP! Mission accomplished. I’ve also just been out and bought myself a big bag of crisps if it’s any consolation!! Any chance of W nap from the kids so you can have a rest soon?

Ive just pit them up now. I can still hear the toddler but hopefully they'll sleep for a couple of hours. I'm toying with just wasting nap time on my phone Vs actually doing something.

My vote is for rest it sounds like you’ve been in the wars with your poorly little ones lately! My DS is down and I’m just settling down for a peaceful lunch and a bit of adult tv (bliss!)

I've just eaten a large bag of crisps and a cherry Bakewell while.the toddler still screams in his cot. I just feel.tired and sick now

Glad you had a nice visit . Think you need some pampering . I had crisps too . Must be the day for it . Hope your little boy will be better soon