Help! I'm drowning!

[SussexGirl57]

Hi fellow mums.

I've been struggling with depression in recent months. I've had it on an off all my life but this episode seems to be worse than usual. I can't keep up with the housework and things that need doing around the house. My husband works full time and commutes to London and neither of us have family around. I am self employed and run an online business which is suffering too at the moment due to my health but I still have to do some work otherwise that'll take a nosedive.

We have two boys, 8 & 6, they are lively and messy! So, it's not just the cleaning it's the mess too. They do chores and some tidying but because I'm not on top of things and how I would normally manage them, it's building up.

Anyway, this isn't a story about how terrible my life is, it's not. I'm just struggling with keeping on top of things. My husband has said I can get a cleaner to come in once a week (yay!) but that doesn't really help with the mess. Cleaners don't generally tidy. I know that a mothers help doesn't clean. Are there some cleaners that will tidy too?

Sure, some cleaners will. You are paying them after all - they want to have work. You just need to talk to a few and ask - cleaners do all sorts of work from a vaccum/mop/bathroom clean of a small flat to emptying out and cleaning a house after an owner has died. Not all do all types of work but some will.

You need to be realistic about what can be achieved in however many hours you pay them for. You can tidy much faster than a cleaner can because you already know where everything is supposed to live and/or whether this broken item can be thrown out or needs to be kept. So unlike with vaccuming/mopping/tile cleaning, they are going to need to ask you lots of questions as they go which slows things down. So they may not then get around to actual cleaning depending on how long you are paying them for.

Our cleaner tidies! Mainly it involves making neat piles of things rather than a proper tidy but it's enough to keep the place ticking over. Worth checking if your local cleaners would.

Hi OP. I've found something that helps me keep on top of clutter is a basket downstairs and another upstairs where I can chuck things that need putting away (if they don't belong in the room they're in). Sounds simple but it makes a difference as you can immediately see the impact of less mess. Then you just have to motivate yourself to get them put away...I tell myself it won't take long - and actually it doesn't. It's a real motivator for me as even though my space may not be cleaned, it's tidier. Do your kids help put their stuff away? It's something I wish I'd trained my (now 18yo) DS to do.

I also loosely follow the organised mum plan, and doing a bit every day makes a huge difference.

On another note, how are you managing your depression? Having been there myself I know how hard it can be pulling yourself out of it, so I hope you're getting some help, or finding ways to treat it yourself