House dirty, scared of losing everything

[SoloAutist]

Okay, so I'm not a parent or even expecting but I have a problem that I can't find a solution to anywhere on the internet and I remembered my mum talking about how people here helped her when things were tough.

I'm 21, autistic and severely depressed. Around 2 years ago I lost my mum to suicide and was forced to move into my own place. The problem is that I went into an enormous slump that I am only recently getting out of, but during the slump my standards of living dropped to barely leaving bed regularly enough to feed myself. This had a huge impact on the house.

As the eldest I inherited a few beloved family pets, and I truly love them, I'd go so far as to say that losing them would be the last nail in the coffin for me and I'm scared I'd do something drastic. The problem is that my house is filthy, not too cluttered ro anything, it's just that I simply cannot get rid of the buildup that has gathered during the darkest time of my life, thanks to the effort required and the equipment I can't afford.

I really want to hire a cleaning company to come in and get it to a point that's managable for me, I've been scraping and saving and I think I finally have enough, but I have a crippling fear that any company I call may contact the authorities over the state my house has reached which could result in me losing my house, no big deal for me as I have moved home around once ever 3 years on average and am used to it. What I'm truly afraid of is losing my pets. They're the last source of love and comfort in my life that doesn't live 100 miles away and it would break me to lose them as a result of my last ditch effort to put my life in order.

Does anyone know if this fear is justified, or could possibly recommend a friendly and non-judgemental deep cleaning company around the pembrokeshire area? I'm pretty sure I have a house inspection coming up so this has suddenly become time-sensitive and an enormous stress on my mind.

Hello, I don’t think any deep cleaners would report you (maybe to the RSPCA if they thought you were severely neglecting your pets but it doesn’t sound like you are. I would just ask for the deep clean as required and if you feel you have to justify yourself to someone you are employing then just say you’ve been ill.

Or you could say you're the landlord and you want it cleaned after a tenant has been in?

It sounds as though you've had a touch time, no wonder you're depressed. You say you have people who care 100 miles away - can they offer any help?

To answer your question, as long as your pets aren't neglected I can't imagine why the cleaning service would report you. The fact that you've accumulated the money to pay for the cleaning is a positive thing, it shows you are trying to put things right.

Hi OP. Unless your pets are starving, locked in an unsuitable space, covered in their own waste or you’re torturing them, the RSPCA wouldn’t remove them. Get the clean done; you’ll feel much better and stronger in a clean space. I’m sorry about your mum. Look after yourself.

Hi Soloautist,
The first step to fixing a problem is asking for help. When I was suffering from depression several years ago, I discovered flylady on the internet. It's not a cleaning company but a set of rules that you follow, that help you to keep on top of things - It did me the world of good, because I'm ok at following rules if there's a process.
You don't have to fix your whole house at once, try one room at a time - baby steps.

I tried to find cleaning companies in the area and there are loads, but this caught my eye www.housingcare.org/service/ser-info-12440-cleaning-care-.aspx if I'm reading it correctly it's someone who specialises in working with people who are in some way vulnerable.

I am a home care worker who provides personal care and home management tasks for both the elderly, for people with a physical impairment or if you just need a helping hand. I also provide support to clients who have difficulty with tasks such as cooking, cleaning and gardening. Being computer literate allows me to competently deal with any internet issues people may have, and I am as at home helping someone surf the net as I am cleaning the windows.

The answer is to start to break down the tasks you need to do room by room. A deep cleaning company with vacuum, mop, steam carpets and wash windows and skirting boards but clutter you need to deal with. Can a friend or family member come for the weekend and help you clear out everything you don't need, if the carpets need cleaning you can rent a machine from some supermarkets/diy stores and it's cheaper than a company deep cleaning. Ahead of this each day sort out a specific room or section eg one day is paperwork, another is wardrobe/drawers etc. Try to make lists so you are less overwhelmed and can see the progression with ticks

Thank you everyone. My sister, the only one I could reasonably call on to help is in university and currently studying very hard in order to get the best possible grades so I don't really want to distract her with this. Looking at SaskiaRembrandt's comment I've resolved to contact these people, I'm hoping they can help me out with this or point me in the right direction. Thank you all for your kind help, I feel a lot less apprehensive about reaching out for the help I need now.

Well done on getting the money and feeling more positive.
To make sure there were no comebacks with regard to your pets. I'd make sure there was no animal urine or poo on the floor, no urine smell, make sure their beds, cages, food bowls are clean. Apologies if you're home isn't that bad.

Hi OP, well done on taking the first step and looking for help.

I’m a cleaner and what I would look for in a home with pets is fresh water, clean food dishes, no faeces in the house (so poo free and fresh litter trays) and no excessive amounts of faeces in the garden/yard where the pet defecates. A poo here or there in the garden is no issue but if it looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in two weeks that’s a problem. And also I would want to see that if there is clutter built up, it isn’t at risk of falling over on the pets, or indeed the client. And fwiw if I came to a home that had dirty dishes/no water/poo/dangerous clutter etc, it would be the first jobs I would do. I wouldn’t be contacting RSPCA. If the client refused to let me do those things I would be concerned and contact RSPCA.

I hope they can help! If not, don't be afraid to come to this thread, there may be posters more local to you who will have better ideas.

Also, don't feel bad about talking to your sister - I'm a student so I know how hectic student life can be, especially at this time of year with exams coming up, but at the same time I would hate to think someone I cared about was struggling. Even if she's a caring voice on the phone it can make a big difference to know you aren't struggling on alone.

My dad fell ill recently. He was hospitalised and it's obviously been going on a while as his house was filthy (think dog poo under his bed, mould in the fridge, fly covered dog food etc) barely working kitchen covered in filth. I contacted a cleaning company and they came and spent a full day cleaning everything, it was sparkling after and they passed no judgement at all, they were so lovely. (I took the dogs in with my dad's consent as dad couldn't look after them after his illness).

Call them and book them, getting your space sorted will only help you. As long as your pets are looked after, fed and watered you have nothing to worry about at all. Congratulations on taking such a positive step, I know what a big deal it can be.

I would look at it as making sure your pets are safe and comfortable now and it will also mean you dont need to worry when the cleaner arrives;

1. Get rid of any waste food or droppings from your pets and make sure their bedding and sleeping area is always clean and comfortable.

1. Remove as much rubbish as you can. Just bag it and put it outside where pets or any wild animals can't get it, but ideally in bins of course. The most important it anything that could be a hazard for your pets or could go rotten, so anything like that first, then any waste papers and junk which is not a hazard but just looks messy. Always keep rubbish under control and never let it build up.

1. If you have some piles of belongings you want to keep make sure these are safe and pets couldn't knock them over or be injured by anything.

1. Make a start on cleaning the kitchen as this is where your pets food might be prepared so it needs to be relatively clean. It doesnt have to be perfect, just good enough for pets. Again remove any rubbish and tidy any hazards. Clear the sink and make sure that is all usable (a bit of washing up is ok as long as the sink is mainly clear and fairly clean.)Make a clear, clean surface to work on. Sweep the floor and mop it if needed again it doesnt need to be perfect just get anything that is not suitable for pets off the floor and any really obvious mud and dirt). Of course a lot of petfood is not prepared in the kitchen but if it is really dirty it could attract pests or a pet could eat something unsuitable if they got in there.

Once these things are done your home will be safe for your pets and you need not worry the rspca would remove them as long as they are being well cared for. You can then move on to getting the cleaning done to a standard more comfortable for you without the worry about your pets.

OP, I just want to send you a big hug. You’re very young to be coping with such a tough life. Please feel proud of yourself for getting this far, and for saving up for a cleaner, and for being positive. Depression is an exhausting illness, it makes simple chores feel like trying to climb a mountain. Don’t be fearful of the cleaner reporting you- tell them you’ve been very ill, and that the clean will make such a big difference for you- I bet they’ll be touched, and delighted to help you get back on your feet.
Just think how lovely and uplifting your nice clean home will feel! Beautiful uncluttered surroundings are so much better for your mood. Think of it as a new beginning, the start of a happier time in your life.
Take care, OP. God bless.

Well done to you! You're an inspiration. They won't report you and your pets are so lucky to have you ❤️ phone the company and enjoy a lovely clean house