Slattern with houseproud friends!

[Slatterna]

I'm the slattern. I haven't had a friend over to visit for forever, but last week one came over and I had a mad tidying session.

I live alone and it's like one day things are fine and then slowly it all builds up around you and you're lying on top of a huge pile of your unironed clothes. That's my worst issue. Clothing. And paperwork/packaging. It just gets everywhere.

Anyway, that particular friend is a bit messy/untidy herself. Although her place always looks fine when I go over. Mine is bad, but I'm trying to change... But I don't really worry what she thinks because we're similar.

Tonight I have friends coming over and they're both very tidy people. Their homes look good. One of them redecorates semi regularly and her place always looks cosy and welcoming. If you were to open her cupboards her pots and pans would be lying in an orderly fashion, while mine would be all over the place. She does the dishes immediately after eating. Everything is "just so".

My home is also very old and in a state of slight disrepair - it needs some work done. So I invited them over tonight and have told them to ignore things. I said I'm going to get that dealt with (hopefully soon). I just always remember them talking about someone who had a gross house and get paranoid mine is the same. I worry that it smells. I'll light a candle before they come over (is that really obvious?).

The living room looks ok-ish (still some crap lying around but I'll deal with that before they arrive). I'm working on decluttering and throwing out stuff I don't need. My bedroom and spare bedroom are full of shite, but they won't venture in there. So hopefully they don't notice anything bad.

I'm not too stressed but wish I had a nice place to invite people to :(

this book is brilliant It’s literally written for people like us.

The author has a blog and podcasts too.

Op when you are a nice person your home is matterless.
As long as you have a working kettle I would call round often!
Try not to worry, they aren't going to be bringing a clip board and score card.

I'm like you and have just bought a robovac. It's completely life changing! I run it twice a day ( 3 cats, 1 child) and my floors are always clean. They're also tidier because I like to move things out of the vac's way so it can make a better job.

A shredder in the porch is another great idea, so you can get rid of junk mail or unnecessary papers immediately you open them. Then the shedded paper can go in the fire or recycling.

Clothes I haven't conquered yet. I seem to have a floordrobe much of the time. Still I am getting there slowly!

Good luck OP and I suspect that a friendly, happy host is more memorable for your friends than a perfect house would be.

What AprilShowers said.
If a friend is coming round to critique your home, she's not a friend that is worth worrying about.
Maybe you have more important things in life to be spending time on.

Hi, they came over and the visit went well. Nobody said anything, we just chatted away and ate cake/drank tea. I guess I just feel paranoid because I notice everything. And because they've talked about people they know with untidy/unclean homes. While I feel mine is verging on that state but I want to turn it around and get rid of stuff I don't need. I've been watching Marie Kondo's show today so hopefully that will give me inspiration.

My mother is a hoarder (in total denial) I can't even walk into my old bedroom now because she's filled it with her prized possessions junk and I don't want to end up like her. Conversely her mum (my grandmother) is in her 90s and still maintains an immaculate home! I want to become more like her.

Also thanks for your comments and the recommendation of the book! I'll have a look at that :)

Invite your friends in to your home. It makes a place warm and lovely and it's good to see your home as a place where love and laughter happens as opposed to a shameful secret that must be hidden away.

I'm houseproud. I never apply my preferences to my friend's homes. I'm there to be with my friends, not to run my finger over a dusty door frame.

Let me know when your kettle is next on op!!
Def no judgment here!!

I always find inviting people round motivates me to address those things that really need sorting out.

First I had to check I hadn't started this!
Old house, house proud friends, impending social visit.....

Alanamackree I've just read that, thankyou (£2 Amazon download) it really hit the right note.
I've now got a thing going doing 4, non negotiable things every day, no decision to be made, they have to be done. She made a good case and something had finally clicked on my head - have you tried her decluttering book or is that just more of the same?

I live on my own most of the time, 2 sons at uni and feel somewhat the same as you, the mess kind of builds up and really everyone is different. I have never been houseproud even when I was a sahm, I just did what needed doing. I hate housework, everything. If I am busy working I may go all week without washing the dishes, but the way I look at it it only equates to one nights dishes as a family of four :) If I know I am having visitors I run round tidying up and throwing everything in to cupboards. I do decide sometimes to make more of an effort and wash up as I go, sometimes things bother me more than others.

As long as it's not ridiculously dusty and there aren't massive cobwebs on the ceiling then it's only clutter.

Some small cobwebs here and there occasionally but nothing like a haunted house lol.

I make a nice cup of tea! And I definitely need to have people over more often, it totally makes me get off my arse and tidy!

Little and often really does make a difference. And having a "home" for things to be returned to.

And when I say little I promise I only mean ten extra minutes a day.

Um, are you me?

Weirdly, all my cupboards are uber neat inside, all the junk is out in a state of 'about to be sorted out'.

I'll read the thread for ideas. I can't stand throwing away things that might be useful, or someone else could use.

I have posh biscuits left from Christmas - hidden in a cupboard from dc /dh!!
Let me know when you are free!!

:) Tea and biscuits for all!

Yes, I think little and often seems the way!

Actually, I was watching one of my friends in her house a while back. Her DD was playing with her toys and my friend picked them up right after she'd finished playing with them and put them away in the toybox. It was a real aha! moment for me. I don't have kids but I'm really bad at not putting stuff away and next thing it just builds up! So if I start putting paperwork away and moving items to a place for them to be kept rather than letting it all sit with me on the sofa it will be much better.

My bedroom and spare room are full of crap. I'll make a start on them tomorrow.

My problem is deciding what to do with things. My new casserole dish came in a beautiful wooden box. I can't bear to throw it away, but what on earth might it be useful for? It's been sitting on the kitchen table since Christmas.

Could the wooden box be used for keepsakes, herb pots, school letters, keep post together until it’s opened, be mounted on a wall as a display shelf??

Sounds like you’re off to a good start Slatterna. I have the book linked up thread and it is a really jolly funny read with some good tips. Also check out the decluttering one thing a day threads in here for more inspiration

I don't really know what a 'keepsake' is (maybe I just keep everything!?).

Post already has a basket, which ends up being another thing to get cluttered up and need sorting.

I'll have a think about the shelf idea, after the kitchen is painted I might find a way to do that! Thanks