gutting my sons bedroom in 30 minutes...

[AmIAWeed]

I have been asking my teenage son to change his bed for for too long, this morning I thought enough is enough - I'll do it myself, ok its his room, his privacy but if he can't keep it clean then he looses the right to privacy in his room
Except now, I want to be sick.
I lifted duvet to find a mix of clothes I cleaned this weekend and dirty stuff, I can't tell the difference. I opened his wardrobe, he contents fell out, I look behind the door - there's more clothes
His windows sealed shut, I assume forever as there is an eco system of mould and dust
Mixed into clothes are sweet wrappers
socks - hard socks, lonely socks

I have a conference call in 2 minutes, after that, i'm donning rubber gloves and gutting the entire room before he gets back from school at 6. I am aware as well as encountering all sorts, I'll have a civil war break out when he gets home.
Wish me luck

Sounds like a teens room.
It will be the same in a few days btw.

socks - hard socks, lonely socks

I'm doing a mix of and (and btw the first one was vomit)!

My mum used to shove everything in black bags. You had a certain amount of time to sort it or it went.

That doesn't sound that bad, to be honest!

utterly Doesn't sound that bad? I hate to think what you may have seen in your time if this isn't that bad!!

So if his room will be like this in a week...what steps are there to try and keep on top of it that doesn't involve treating him like a child and invading his privacy but also ensures we don't create a nuclear hazard

Hazmat suit at the ready

It's frankly scary doing this and it take hours. It's also like going to IKEA the amount of plates, bowls and cutlery you find...despite the no eating upstairs rule.

Good luck.

The steps?
Eventually they realise it’s a pain in the ass to do a blitz tidy when they want friends around. And after a couple of times the penny starts to drop.
You have to be strong and ignore the pleas of but all my mates rooms are like this. Which they are tbh.

I havent gone back in i'm 'typing notes' following my call
also reading Mumsnet and trying to work up the will to go back in there.

I figured we could ditch the wardrobe and his desk. Get him a hanging rail so less places to hide crap
His desk is simply dumping ground and I've a home office he and his sister tend to use if they have homework. There's a coat he's had since year 7 buried in the crap, he's now year 10 s I think a big part of this will simply be binning stuff and not letting it build up.

Ok, I'm going, im doing it....i'll just put the kettle on first

My 12 year olds room would get like this, but I go in at least once a week and fumigate! I do make him do stuff, but the reality is it doesn't always get done (such as hanging up wet washing, putting clean clothes away)
I have to keep on top of it otherwise it would descend into its own eco system. And he's not even in his teens yet

Your house your room. I once opened the window and lobbed everything out. It was raining hard. Every weekend I say bring down your dirty laundry it you want it washed. He does. I do strip, change the bed, I also handed him bin bags last month and said get shot of the stuff that you have grown out of do not like. He did.

My only sticking point is his bathroom, he is not allowed to use the shower only sink and loo. I am training him to clean both because he is off to uni. next year.

It is your house not his!!!

Why are you gutting his room? The best strategy is to make your DS do it, he'll learn to keep it tidier if he has to clean it up himself!

The first time you lower the boom I would suggest doing it together, children sometimes have no idea how a room should be cleaned tidied. If this fails, take away phone, x box, playstation, until the room is done.

You are in charge.

Change WiFi code and make him do it, be more authoritative. Fuck his privacy if he's living in squalor

Rename your WiFi 'Clean your bastard room' and then change the password. Then do nothing.

Taking a break, all clothes out and in his bathroom, 2 large bin bags or genuine rubbish.
All other crap is on his bed

I'm cleaning because he's been asked, told multiple times. He hasn't and as there is no mould the time for asking is over. He leaves for school at 7am, gets back at 6. Goes to his Dad's every other weekend so time to do it properly, together is scarce - so whilst I could wait till the weekend I know it will be manic with PIL arriving.
Once done he'll have 2 options, me cleaning weekly like he's a small child, aka no privacy, no internet, no Mobile, none of the rewards that come with being a teen.
Or, you know, grow up, stop wanking into socks and leaving them and for God sake change your bed
Bargh! Ranting mother...I need a bloody gin

I don’t know what age your teen is but mine is 13 and his room was just a pit. I kept nagging and he kept a saying he would clean it. It never happened. So I cleaned it during the summer while he was away camping and I’ve made him stay on top of it by withholding WiFi until it’s in acceptable condition. He does let it get bad and I give him chances until I have to resort to the WiFi again. I be a bit sneaky sometimes and gather his devices before i drop the bombshell that it’s bedroom cleaning day. I have finally gotten him into a habit of opening his bedroom window before he leaves for school every morning.

Good options! Would love to see his face when you tell him you'll be in there every week unless he sorts it out!

Get him a hanging rail so less places to hide crap

My 19yo has a rail, y'know they just drape the crap over the rail

Strip his bedding , wash it. Take his pillows and duvet , get him to put his clean sheets on, then only allow the duvet/pillow once its tidy.

I do blitz in DS room (when he's present) we move the bed out , sweep round, sort out papers and rubbish. Though mine is 'adult' so had his privacy (I don't look too close at anything in there, but I wouldn't throw things out unless I knew they were rubbish)

Brave op!

I feel guilty reading this, I have 2 teens and both have immaculate rooms and hate mess! It annoys my mum so much as I was such a messy, slob of a teenager

Take his pillows and duvet , get him to put his clean sheets on, then only allow the duvet/pillow once its tidy.

I stripped DSs bed once and gave him the clean sheets to put on. He got out his sleeping bag and slept in that!

Just to let you all know I am alive. Tomorrow I'll get a tetanus shot, possibly get tested for Ebola and hepatitis...it was grim.
He has arrived home, thrown a wobbly, moaned he can't reach his toilet and started putting his mountain of crap away
He's yet to start the clothes.
He has however acknowledged his room does not smell and looks much better with so much furniture or as I call it hiding places removed.

Tomorrow I begin my daughter's room!
On the plus side she has started panic tidying

My husband showed solidarity by bringing home chocolate

OP hold firm. I never shout or nag. Just withdraw technology. He is doing his A levels was not working enough at home so I bagged up all his techno toys. Stayed calm, he caved by the end of the week.

Now he asks if he can go on his X box which he is allowed from 9 till 10pm.

Watching with interest...
Btw your husband's definate a keeper!!

Just a few delights I endured today.
He's still working through clothes. Asked if he got them all out the bathroom if he gets phone and laptop...I explained not just out the bathroom, but sorted and put away and old clothes thrown out.
He's yet to actually make his bed. Duvet and pillow are being held hostage until a bottom sheet is added!
Husband is definitely a keeper, he soon learnt in times of conflict, hide behind the sofa and throw gin and/or chocolate at me until it's safe