Having someone stay at your house

[purplepigs]

I have been away for a few days and my Dad house sat, he looked after our son , our two dogs and cat and he brought along his own dog they all get on fine.
Before I left I agreed on what I do and don't agree with in the house.
I have returned home this evening and was appalled at what I found.
We agreed all dogs would be crated turns out my Dads dog slept upstairs in the bed with him - we don't have dogs upstairs that are crates at night and sleep in dining room. My Dads dog isn't well house trained so I def don't want her upstairs

Then it also appears that my Dad has been eating food in the lounge - which I don't tolerate

The carpet in the lounge had all bits on which caused me to hoover almost immediately

The garden gate which sections of the muddy grass was open which meant the dogs could run in the mud and then bring it all indoors

There was dog biscuits all over the dining room floor also

It also appears one of the dogs had an accident (wee) on the carpets - my bet is
Oh my Dads dog
Our carpet in new and our own dogs don't do that kind of thing
My Dad didn't tell me about this accident and we found out from our son
It appears my Dad cleared it up with a cloth and warm water
I am livid
I don't even know where about a on the carpet it was

How would you handle this situation
I feel completely disrespected

Dock his wages.

If he house sat for you for free and looked after your child and animals I would say you got a good deal out of it. I think 'livid' is overreacting.

If your dad's dog isn't usually crated it's unreasonable to expect it to be while it's in an unfamiliar house.

It just sounds like you had to hoover and clean up which doesn't sound like a big deal to be honest!

I would buy him a thank you present.
He's done you a massive favour and everyone and everything is pretty much intact.
Hes not as particular as you but he sounds kind.
Be grateful.

Christ you sound like an ungrateful brat. Livid? Get a fucking grip.

Your dad sounds lovely. You're lucky.

This post should be under the section - AIBU?
The answer is yes.

My Dad crates his dog at his own house
At night and when he goes out
His dog is often at ours so it isn't a strange house to her
Did a lot more than ran the hoover round just didn't go into so much detail

I am grateful that he looked after the house but he hates his own house and he likes coming down to ours it's a different area and the house is bigger but I just feel as though he doesn't take care of anything when he is here

Before I left I agreed on what I do and don't agree with in the house.

You sound like really hard work.

Then it also appears that my Dad has been eating food in the lounge - which I don't tolerate

Food in the lounge? Disgusting, what on earth was he thinking, you should go nc immediately.

Life in you house sounds like such great fun!

The carpet in the lounge had all bits on which caused me to hoover almost immediately

I reckon you probably quite enjoy hoovering at least three times a day so surely not a big deal?

The garden gate which sections of the muddy grass was open which meant the dogs could run in the mud and then bring it all indoors

You mean he let the dogs on the actual grass? Shocking. Best concrete over the entire garden asap!

There was dog biscuits all over the dining room floor also

This is a strange one indeed! Never met dogs that would leave uneaten biscuits on the floor.

It also appears one of the dogs had an accident (wee) on the carpets
(...)
It appears my Dad cleared it up with a cloth and warm water
I am livid
I don't even know where about a on the carpet it was

So he did a good job cleaning the carpet then? You really need to unclench.

How would you handle this situation
I feel completely disrespected

Buy your dad a nice bottle of whiskey and say thank you. Try to be less of a controlling nightmare.

Before I left I agreed on what I do and don't agree with in the house.

You sound like really hard work - I am not hard work but our dogs are only allowed it certain rooms. I am sure I am not the only person in the world who does this.

Then it also appears that my Dad has been eating food in the lounge - which I don't tolerate

Food in the lounge? Disgusting, what on earth was he thinking, you should go nc immediately.

Life in you house sounds like such great fun!
Food in the lounge is a no no. Meal times are incredibly important to us and dinner at the table means time to talk and catch up on your day. Again I don't think I am the only person to think this.

The carpet in the lounge had all bits on which caused me to hoover almost immediately

I reckon you probably quite enjoy hoovering at least three times a day so surely not a big deal? Don't hoover three times a day and although I would hoover if I stayed at someone's house I wouldn't expect everyone to.

The garden gate which sections of the muddy grass was open which meant the dogs could run in the mud and then bring it all indoors

You mean he let the dogs on the actual grass? Shocking. Best concrete over the entire garden asap! The grass isn't used in the summer because it gets so muddy. We have decking and paving which the dogs access. What's so bad about that?

There was dog biscuits all over the dining room floor also

This is a strange one indeed! Never met dogs that would leave uneaten biscuits on the floor.

There was a sea of biscuits.

It also appears one of the dogs had an accident (wee) on the carpets
(...)
It appears my Dad cleared it up with a cloth and warm water
I am livid
I don't even know where about a on the carpet it was

So he did a good job cleaning the carpet then? You really need to unclench. But he didn't tell me that the dog had wee our son told us while clearing up after dinner and told
Is that grandad had asked him to lie.

How would you handle this situation
I feel completely disrespected

Buy your dad a nice bottle of whiskey and say thank you. Try to be less of a controlling nightmare.

How can people be saying that the OP is ungrateful. They agreed what was acceptable and he went off and did what he wanted. Free or not, if you agree to do things one way, you stick to it. Regardless of whether someone is doing you a favour or not, if they agreed to a set of guidelines then of course the OP has every right to be livid when he disregarded all her wishes. It's like another post the other day when a MIL took it upon herself to feed her exclusively breastfed unweaned grandchild solid food. Just because she wanted to. Boundaries people. Boundaries.

@sollyfromsurrey
My Dad agree with dinner at table and dogs in crates etc and agreed with all of it had he said to be oh I won't be doing that it would have been different but he disregarded what we had agreed and then asked DS to lie about dog being upstairs etc

Bit of a dripfeed there, OP! Asking your DS to lie is not okay and I can see why you are upset. Try to relax a bit about the rest, though. Nothing was actually damaged, you just had to do some extra cleaning. I wouldn‘t expect someone who was kind enough to housesit to also clean for me and would just hope they had a nice relaxing time at my place.

I generally agree with having meals at the table only, but the occasional exception to the rule won‘t do any harm, a cheeky tv dinner with granddad actually sounds quite fun! Also the crumbs in the lounge could be from a snack rather than a main meal.

If your Dad and you have such different ideas about what is and isn't done at home, did you really expect any different? I'd be livid too if what was agreed to wasn't done, but be honest with yourself, are you surprised? My DM is the same, what she agrees to isn't whats done. I know this so just don't have her mind the house or DS. Moral of the story is don't have him stay again.

I hear you OP. I am in complete agreement with you.

He probably told your son not to mention the wee because he was frightened of your reaction and reading your responses on here I don’t blame him one bit, you sound a complete nightmare.

OP, I do have some sympathy about your df trashing your house, my dm is very similar. But I would never leave my house in her care.
Use a professional next time.

He hardly trashed her house! there were some crumbs and dog biscuits on the floor and one of the dogs had an accident which he cleared up, it’s not like he had a house party for goodness sake.

Poor Dad
He sounds great! What a kind caring guy. Just say thanks and give him a hug. No one died, did they?

Get your purse out and do kennels next time if you're your house is so precious.
Your poor dogs

Would you say that you have quite high standards op?

OMG - NEVER EVER GO AWAY AGAIN ! the cheek of him

If you want to fully dictate what happens stop using cheap family and pay the full cost of a licensed house sitter.

Just imagine what it would cost next time to pay for a nanny for your son and kennels for your pets ( I'd imagine a good few hundred pounds)
And then ask yourself whether this is something you really need to worry about
Surely the most important thing is that your son is healthy, happy and well as are your pets

You should be more grateful.