New house, new start. Please tell a complete idiot your house rules androutines!

[Cagliostro]

I have always struggled. Grew up in a rundown house with hoarder parents (one now ‘reformed’ in a nice flat, the other... not so much) and various vermin. Needless to say I didn’t learn good housekeeping skills there.

I am autistic and have various physical and mental health conditions that have added to the struggle over the years. Add in two autistic kids and it got seriously overwhelming.

But we are moving to a bigger house (me/DH/11yo/8yo/baby). I feel really positive that this is the chance to turn things around, as we will have more space (and other various things like a garden and better location that will have huge effects on my health and happiness). But I also know it’s not a magic pill and I want to work really hard to make it happen! And I am DETERMINED.

First step, decluttering - I have never managed to actually do the Kondo method all in one go but her principles have changed me and I can now let go of stuff - and I know that if we moved into this bigger house without getting rid of stuff, we would be no better off at all. So we have been chucking and giving away loads. We are having to furnish the place almost from scratch so we are thinking really hard about storage and what we actually need. I have literally never lived in a home where “everything has a place”.

Routines are something I really struggle with too. Autism is commonly associated with need for rigid routines but I find it difficult to get into one and form good habits. I would really like some rules/basic routines (I do follow the Flylady thread but a range of ideas would be great) as I just have no clue how to do this basic adult stuff!

What rules do you have? For example on another thread on here, I read about the rule of only eating food at the table. It had literally never occurred to me before. See I need help! And inspiration please.

My DMum was (and still is) always very untidy , so growing up , our house was messy. DMum always complained we didn't help (we did) or if we did help it was because we wanted friends round (they weren't allowed because of the state of the house) .
I tidied the kitchen, cooked meals etc and suddenly that was 'my job'

She still doesn't throw things out , I'd say she is definate 'Hoarder' type . If she has baskets and boxes they get full of things-buttons, bits of wool, zip, cutouts from newspapers, coins,tights . We need to throw out any empty liquitab boxes they're her favourite crapstore

My house is tidy but its tidy-er .

I have 4 laundry baskets: white/light colour/dark colour/black
Everyone empties their pockets and turns everything(except socks) inside out. I doublecheck pockets and rain Hell on the person who slips up (mine are both older teens).
I put everyones black socks in their own netbag to make it easier to pair them up. And they go on those peg hangers to dry not pegged out .

I have shredding scissors so anything that needs recycled gets the ID shredded off.
I have two recycle bins - one for bigger , one for the small plastics than otherwise end up in the waste because we CBA walking to the big bin.

No Shoes In The House. Shoe rack in the porch

I do the tidy up, load the dishwasher and clean the sink+worktops before bed, coming downstairs to a dirty kitchen is a bummer way to start the day.

Thank you 70 I really feel you on the issues growing up. My mum would randomly rage at me for the state of my room but it was no worse than the rest of the house at all, the hypocrisy was galling. It’s made me determined not to blame the kids for being messy, I’m trying to approach it from a “learning together as a family” angle because how can I expect them to keep a tidy room when they don’t live in a tidy house? I want to help them learn, not just to get a tidy house now, but for when they grow into independent adults. They are disadvantaged as it is due to their autism and learning issues so I want to help them learn how to look after their surroundings, because I didn’t at their age.

One of the little things I am excited about in the new house is that there’s a stainless steel sink. I’m determined to get it shiny and keep it that way! Here we only have a crappy plastic job that was stained before we even moved in. The oven and hob are much nicer too (previous tenant has left a Rayburn size one ) - we’ve had it cleaned as it was part of the professional deep clean service, but I will enjoy keeping it nice regularly.

Unfortunately we don’t have a porch, but I have got buckets coming to keep everyone’s shoes in. I’m not entirely sure it’s going to be a very user friendly system - the cupboard is long and very narrow and we have to fit in a coat hook too - but we will have to strictly make the best of it while we figure out if there’s a better way.

I joined team UFYH on Facebook :o it looks great and I’m going to read the website (especially the moving house tips) while feeding baby

Thank you to the poster who mentioned shredding scissors!! I am always ripping addresses off letters but they never make it to the shredder. I've ordered a pair of scissors and I'm going to keep them in the letter rack to shred addresses straight into the recycling bag 👍

I use a free app called Wunderlist (there is a premium version as well) on my phone (Android) and have a chores list set up with automatic repeats at the frequency I want. It has the ability to share lists with other users so DH and I can share a shopping list and it's on our phones rather than at home when we're passing a shop.

I do ignore reminders a bit but at least seeing what is most overdue.

Also handy as I have the bins on their relevant repeats so can see at a glance which ones are due!