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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

So tired of having to clean top to bottom every time someone comes around.

39 replies

WS12 · 16/04/2018 04:36

Well that's just it really. Every time someone comes around I need to scrub my house basically top to bottom and pick everything up, tidy clothes away, vacuum and mop... we've just moved to a new place so there are lots of first impressions going on if you know what I mean. I want a clean tidy house, it doesn't have to be spotless. But it feels grubby... think finger prints, sticky marks...

I just feel so overwhelmed like I can't keep on top of my house keeping. My house can easily be tidied but it always seems to need a good scrub. Bleaching the floors, wiping food splashes off walls... wiping dust off the tv units etc etc...

How can I kee on top of it? Does anyone use a tried and tested 'timetable'? I have two DC age 5 and 3 and don't currently work so I'm willing to try a daily routine or even weekly. Help what can I do?! I've even thought of having a cleaner in once a week and asking them to pull a room out and scrub it - one week kitchen, next the living room, and so on.

OP posts:
Hypermice · 16/04/2018 09:56

Your worth is not determined by how pristine your cupboard doors are. You have small children. Sticky paw prints are a fact of life. There’s a balance between perfect and squalor.

My stance on housework is that we have small kids, we both work with long commutes to nursery every day and we have very little free time. I’m also pregnant and unwell.

The laundry is done so that everyone has clean clothes daily and clean sheets once a week. The bathrooms and kitchen are done daily. It’s hygeinic. A quick whip round will sort it to the point I can cope with visitors.

There are also toys lying about, the fronts of the cupboards have the odd splat on, it just looks like people live here. There’s a pile of books under the coffee table, etc etc.

While it’d be lovely to have everything clean and perfect, i do t feel it’s realistic for us with life at the moment and it’s not high on my priority list. I get very little time to myself and I’d rather spend that reading than scrubbing. It’s clean enough. It’s hygienic.

It is you driving the need to clean or fear of judgement? If it’s the latter I say that those who kind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.

I’ve had to put my foot down quite firmly with both DM and MIL who are aghast I don’t iron and put away mountains of laundry till 10pm and see our house as a state. It isn’t a state. Neither of them worked when their kids were small, and when they did work they didn’t have jobs that required emails answering at all hours, nor did they have commutes.

No one will die from cupboard splats. If everyone is in clean clothes and has a clean bathroom and a clean kitchen, and the house is fairly liveable, you’re winning,

Do you know how many men are agonising over dumping the washing in the spare bed in the uk at this very moment ?
absolutely fucking none
I’m sure your house is fine. Go have a cup of tea and sod the ironing.

Namechange128 · 16/04/2018 10:12

I'm with @Hypermice. My house is normally fairly tidy, otherwise it stresses me out, and I don't have dirty dishes in the sink or mud tracked in - but definitely no floor bleaching here! I'd be impressed but utterly not expect it in someone else's house - my mum does, but time has thickened my skin 😊

If you do want a routine, FlyLady is great - I did it when I was on maternity leave #2, and it was manageable around small kids (they could even help) and also helped me to declutter, which meant less to tidy.

PerfectlyDone · 16/04/2018 20:59

Striving for perfection sets you up for failure.
Because a perfectly clean house is impossible (even without children and without pets ).

So many aspects of your OP I find disturbing: I understand the need to show off your new house and to be able to feel proud of your new home. But its worth does not depend on how much time or effort you spend cleaning and tidying. And bleaching floors?? I have never bleached a floor other than when there has been a human or canine accident .

A happy home should be comfortable and warm, with a happy and relaxed host welcoming guests, not somebody tense and worried about how she/the house comes across.

And I so totally agree with reminding you that absolutely no single men are currently agonising over whether they've wiped the walls.

Here's another thought: when DS1, aged 1 at the time, left sticky hand marks on my mum's french doors she did not wipe them off for several months because we are unable to visit that often and she thought they were so cute Grin - context is everything. One persons sticky dirt is another's precious momento...

Youcantflosstomonkeywrench · 16/04/2018 21:38

I often just dump all the washing from the line on the spare bed and shut the door that sounds like very reasonable behaviour tbh op. The other trick is to go out for the day with your kids...things never look as bad when you've been out and away for a good few hours. If I stay in for too long then I start to notice every little thing.

However I am a dreadful house keeper, in the past I used to be obsessed though. Now I see cobwebs and think I must go back and get them with the Hoover, then completely forget.

If 'spotless house' guest come then they can take me or leave me (most freinds comment on how tidy it is so I guess it can't be too bad).

Bluntness100 · 16/04/2018 22:27

To be fair my house is pretty much always show house tidy, I don't like mess. Everything gets put away.

When I was younger I was very messy, but somehow changed over the years.

I think on this we are all different, some folks can easily live with piles of laundry, dirty dishes or food splashes etc, and see it as simply homely and not care. Others just see it as messy or dirty.

I don't think it's true about men not caring, that's a myth. Borne of the lazy arse husbands who pretend not to see it as they want their wives to do it. Plenty of women have posted on here about their tidy husbands, or tidy partners and a concern about moving intogther,as they were not the same way,, and,plenty of single men live in clean and tidy homes that they manage to keep that way all by themselves.

PerfectlyDone · 16/04/2018 22:36

Oh, plenty of men are tidy and even house proud, but I have yet to meet one who frets like some women do, and who feels they are somehow letting the side down if one could not literally eat off the kitchen floor.

I don't think that there is only 'messy' or 'spotless', there's a continuum of order and maintaining it requires energy ( fighting entropy requires constant input of energy - look it up Grin).

I detest a dirty house and have some help with cleaning, but I'd certainly not fret about whether the floors had just been done when people are coming round - I love guests and v much work by the motto of 'Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind'.

madeyemoodysmum · 16/04/2018 22:40

If you have not got one. Get a good cordless Hoover. It's changed my life.

ElizabethAllen · 17/04/2018 10:18

Another vote for The Organised Mum Method

WS12 · 17/04/2018 12:05

@ElizabethAllen what is the organised mum method?

I downloaded the FlyLady app and that's looking good! Today I wiped down all I could think of withbaby wipes to get started.

My main issue is splashes and grittiness!

OP posts:
WS12 · 17/04/2018 12:06

Grottiness! That mustn't actually be a word ha ha.

OP posts:
ElizabethAllen · 17/04/2018 12:51

It's this Fleurchamp and merrymouse have also recommended it upthread.

Fleurchamp summed it up well "The basic plan is 15 mins of essentials every day and then 30 mins on a particular room each weekday. I don't follow it religiously but the little and often thing seems to work for me."

There are free printable worksheets here

I find it really effective, in fact I asked in S&B if anyone knew of a beauty equivalent but doesn't seem to exist so I'm doing my own!

WS12 · 17/04/2018 13:26

Ah right ok! Thank you for clarifying 👍

OP posts:
MinaPaws · 17/04/2018 13:33

Flylady is brilliant.
You do one room a day, and 15 mins in the main rooms you sue all the time. If you don;t finish in 15 mins, it doesn't matter - it's better than it was.

I also keep two rooms in good nick - kitchen and living room, so if we have guests, both of those are only 15 minutes' work away from being presentable.

The real trick is to declutter. You can't clean a place if you're spending the whole 15 minutes tidying it up. Get rid of tat. Rotate toys and keep as many as you can in neat storage baskets or toy boxes. If you have two receptions, make one a toy free zone, so if friends call by for coffee, you can invite them in there.

I always feel more at ease in homes that are a little bit scruffy. Not dirty but not immaculate.

WS12 · 19/04/2018 07:12

@MinaPaws thank you. Great advice. I really need to de clutter it's ridiculous we are drowning in stuff 😩

My house feels really grubby sometimes. Sticky fingers and food splats etc so I've been working on them. I've been so busy this week I haven't had time to start myflylady routine but I'm hoping Saturday arvo I'll do nothing so can have a go then!

I feel that my house and what people think has become a "thing" for me, like a stress. As my parents and sis used to joke all the time about how messy it was 😢 I'm now totally paranoid and I'm making it a big thing when I never used to...

OP posts:
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