Lessons in housekeeping for a Shameful 30-something novice

[minniemummy0]

I’m one of those people who never grew up. Mid 30s and my mum did everything for me, bar make my bed. I lived at home until last year when I got pregnant and moved in with my fiancé. I had a massive hang up that it was “his house” and basically, very shamefully, didn’t do any housework at all! Now I’ve got over my pregnancy and first 6 months with a newborn, I’m finally starting to do housework.

Completely embarrassing and unreasonable of me. Problem is, my parents never expected me to do housework, and neither did my lovely fiancé. I’m basically a spoiled brat. And I HATE IT.

So I thought I’d start a thread for accountability. I don’t really know where to start with looking after the house. Fiancé does the bare minimum but actually I’d love to be a wonderful housekeeper and have a lovely home. Where the hell do I start?!!!!

Organised mum is good. Try her website, you can adapt it for what you need. Happy housework!

Thanks itshappenedagain I’ll check it out!

Today I’ve cleared all the laundry pile but I’ve still not worked up a system. There’s me and DP and my baby. I’ve started washing everything with Fairy because we’re using it for the baby stuff - I’ve never quite understood the difference between bio and non-bio though. Shouldn’t jeans and darks etc have something more tough??

I think non-bio is more likely to contain bleach. Use 'colour' powder for colours. Turn clothes inside out before you wash them especially if you dry them outside.

Ufyh points out that many things have three stages - wash, dry and put it away
It’s easier to clean if things are tidy, so tidy is a good place to start.

Non bio means that it doesn't contain biological enzymes and biological does.
I found the organised Mum method good as I've just added things in, such as wash windows( outside) and have a day go each colours/ laundry type. Plus it means I can do the bare minimum at the weekend meaning I can spend much more time with my dc.

I've found the best thing for me is to do as I go OP ** so examples are...

I'll put a wash load on every day, so the basket doesn't end up overflowing! If there's not a full load for that day I usually end up stripping one of the beds and doing that.

Every time I leave a room I take something out of it. Going from the living room to the kitchen? Take any glasses/mugs/plates/rubbish for the bin.

Anything that needs to go upstairs will go on the stairs until I'm going up next, and then put away straight away! Same for anything that needs to come downstairs.

I wash the pots as I cook, and as soon as possible after finishing a meal. When I'm finished I'll wipe the worktops/kitchen table over.

We have a plastic recycling bag behind the bin (under the worktop) where all the recycling goes, that I empty into the bin outside every couple of days. Before this there's be empty tins and cardboard left lying about until one of us was going out.

On my 2 days off a week I do more of a deep clean, especially in the kitchen and bathroom. On the days I'm at work I just do the best I can to 'keep on top' of it.

Can't think of any more right now, but I hope that helps?

(Shamefully following)

I can highly recommend unfuck your habitat.

There's an app with timed challenges and you can make your own lists too, as well as getting random challenges (and if you are like me and need to be shouted at a little bit to get something done, there's a 'motivate me' button that basically tells you to get off your butt and do something productive)

I'd suggest by starting out with a massive clear out and declutter - Marie Kondo is good for this. That way you'll only actually have stuff you want in your home and it'll have a home which is key to staying on top of things IMHO.

Thank you for the responses. I really like the look of UFYH so thanks for the recommendation.

I’m actually going with a massive Kondo-ing of my stuff and will toddle along with the cleaning and concentrate properly on a routine once I’ve cleared the clutter. Me and my fiancé have been to the recycling centre several times already and have also been to the charity shop with some nice but un-read books.

Start small. I make sure I have a packet of antibacterial floor wipes (£1 from ASDA) and a bottle of toilet cleaner in each bog and give it a quick wipe / loo scrub whenever I use it. Means it always looks presentable.

Before you go to bed make sure the kitchen sink is clean and dry (makes you clear away any dishes etc)

Make sure curtains are open, beds made and bedrooms tidy first thing in the morning

Set a day per week to hoover the downstairs and another day per week to Hoover all upstairs

Giving this a shameless bump to see if anyone would like to add further advise - only this time for my benefit (and of course the OPs and others)

I also need advice. People seem to have do many amazing tips to make things extra nice. MIL know everything but lives too far away to tell me all about it. My own DM just did the basics so that’s all I know.

Fill the dishwasher during the day, set it to go so it's finished the next morning. First job of my day (while kettle is boiling) is to unload and put away so its ready to fill during the day.

I do at least one load of laundry a day, no matter what the weather. Line dry mainly but I have a lakeland 3 tier airer for when its raining. Load it up, shove duvet cover over it until all dry.

Videl spray mops instead of mop and bucket for floors. Ansolute god send.

Cleaning products in each bathroom, visit each one during the day to swish over sink and toilet. I clean showers once a week with Cif and a sponge with the scrubby on the one side (get from cheap shop). Get those squeegee for each shower, wipe down walls and screen after each use, instruct others to do it too after themselves. I have the big car ones from Halfords.

Teach pets to wait on mat by the door to wipe wet paws after coming in, contains the mud to one area, saves having to mop the whole of downstairs continually. Ddog gets a biscuit fir being so well behaved.

I don't make beds, instead I fling the duvet open and straighten up. Beds need to air. Houses need to air so I open windows every day (winter at least an hour).

Hi
Get a system going.
Mine is:
First thing: make your bed, open your windows to air the room and do a 5 minute bedroom tidy up
Then put a laundry load on. Mon: dark; Tues: colour; Wed: white; Thurs: towels; Fri: bedding etc.
Make breakfast. While kettle is boiling, empty dishwasher
Clear up after breakfast and reload dishwasher.

Do five minute tidy-ups in each room each day.
E.g bathroom - quick clean of loo, polish taps and mirrors, straighten towels etc.
Living room: plump up cushions, fold throws, get rid of wilting flowers, straighten any toys, papers etc

When DC were small, I'd mop and hoover floors each day as they were crawling around, so maybe get into the habit of that. If you do it each day with just hot water and a tiny drop of disinfectant, it's not a big job.

Every day, one area of the house gets 15 mins on top of the five. So if it's the bathroom, you clean the bath and shower and mop. If it's the bedroom you hoover, polish and change the sheets. If it's the hall, you hoover stairs and clear shoes, coats and junk mail etc.

That way, you're ever cleaning all day long but the house stays in presentable shape. And that's enough anyway when you have a small baby as you spend most of the day feeding them, changing them and cuddling them. When they nap you need a cup of tea not a cleaning challenge.

Don’t get obsessed life is too short to clean relentlessly !
That said if you have a routine it does make it easier
Cleaning products where ever you might need them
Everything has a place
Lots of toy storage!!

Don't deal with things twice if you can do it straight away, for example, I open post in kitchen and recycle (or shred) straight away once dealt with. DH puts his beer bottle on the kitchen worktop, onlyfor it to have to be moved again to the recycling box !

@Wildernesstips omg my Dh does this too! Drives me insane! He also stacks dirty dishes ON TOP of the empty dishwasher. Ugh.

It’s worth learning how to do a ‘deep clean’. Then you can carry on with daily bits and pieces to maintain it and deal with heavily used areas (as other posters are suggesting).

Start at the top of the room. That means cornices/ceiling, lights, tops of tall furniture. Soapy cloth, bucket of hot water with eco cleaning stuff in it.

Keep cleaning down in layers, rinsing cloth as you go, passing over surfaces a few times to budge long-term grime. It’ll be fine for most surfaces.

Use common sense and keep a seperate sponge for loos/bidets etc.

You’ll be an expert in no time. Goodwill and a bit of energy are your friends.

Tempting as it may be, don’t go to bed without clearing out your kitchen. 10 minutes, that’s all it takes, to load the dishwasher, clean the sink and the surfaces.
In the morning, make your bed, grab a shower, get dressed, have a coffee/breakfast etc, empty the dishwasher, put a load of washing on.
Start with that and do it every day for a month, till it becomes a habit.

Before we sit down for the evening we have a quick tidy in the livingroom, all the toys put away, bags, scarves, shoes etc, empty cups, wrappers, whatever.

Menu plan, roughly what you’d fancy that week. Always incorporate a ‘cheat’ meal, be it a ready meal you can just microwave, something you can bang in the oven and forget about for 20 minutes.

For the laundry, get a foldable basket for each household member. Once it’s dry, separate them by ‘ownership’.
We iron on Friday nights, cause we’re so rock’n’roll, but it works for us.
HTH

Following. Am terrible at it all.

Top tips would be:

Declutter. Kondo is great for this. Cleaning is a million times easier when there's no clutter, and tidying feels overwhelming when nothing has a home and there is random crap bulging out of every drawer and surface.

As far as you can, set things up to be easy to clean. Again, Kondo principles are great for this. As little as possible out on the floor or on work surfaces. Little things like buying storage boxes with lids rather than without, or bookcases with glass doors rather than open-front, help to keep dust off. Have minimal ornaments on display unless they are behind glass doors. Have bedside tables with drawers, rather than keeping things piled up on surfaces. Etcetera.

Invest in labour-saving devices. Tumble dryer, dishwasher, cordless vacuum, mop with disposable pads (this one unfortunately not v environmentally friendly), self-cleaning ("pyrolytic") oven. Drastically cuts down on the work you have to do, and a much lower threshold for things like whipping the vacuum out to hoover up a spill instead of dragging a heavy corded one around.

Have daily, weekly, and monthly or seasonal jobs. Things like dishes, surface-cleaning the kitchen floor and worktops and (for most people) laundry need to be done daily to stay on top of them. Things like giving the bathroom and kitchen a proper clean, the house a proper dust/mop/vacuum, and changing beds and towels need to be done every week. Heavier jobs can usually be done less frequently, and you'll find your own "sweet spot" where things are done often enough to keep you happy but not so often they drive you mad!

Get into a routine and make sure that both you and DH are on-board. Find a routine that works for both of you so that you can work together with goodwill at keeping the house nice for the whole family. Some couples find it easier to have discrete tasks they're responsible for to save arguments, others are more "just see it and do it", and still others operate somewhere in between.

You say your mum used to do everything for you. Don't be ashamed to ask her for advice or basic information. So what if you didn't think to ask her this stuff when you were 18? You're asking now. I consider myself a good and competent housekeeper and have been living away from home for many years, yet I still ask my mum's advice (admittedly mainly cooking-related rather than cleaning) from time to time.

If you can afford it, consider getting a cleaner for a couple of hours a week. It's a cliché but they really are a great investment for a lot of couples as they save arguments and enable you to concentrate on other things rather than spending your precious time together cleaning. See also: outsourcing jobs like window cleaning, oven cleaning and even jobs like ironing, depending on your circumstances.