2 tots under 2 and I can't keep on top of things

[babyonboard]

Hi all! My DS is 16 months and my DD is almost 5 months. My DP works really long hours and so isn't home much to help out.
When DD was a newborn it was much easier to keep on top of things in the house as she slept so much, and DS is happy to potter around after me and 'help' most of the time, but now shes more active and demanding I am finding it impossible.
to give you an idea (after reading the flylady thread!) here's my done and to do list for today
DONE-
Ds's breakfast
Sterilised bottles
DS bath
Changed 9 dirty nappies
Emptied and washed out bins
Entertained a very active toddler (including brief trip to the park)
washed carseat covers
To Do-
2 overflowing laundry bins
last nights dinner and breakfast dishes
clean kitchen in general
hoover
put away clean laundry (currently on racks in the bathroom)
a trip to boots for nappies/ other baby stuff
take drycleaning
clean windows (only the living room is a must as it has sticky jam handprints all over it!)
put on clean bedlinen
dust
My only problem is when they both nap at the same time (rarely!)I need some time out so tend to make a coffee and listen to music/browse the internet in peace so I leave everything to build up.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can get a proper routine in place for housework, or how to motivate myself to ignore the calling of coffee and the pc and just bloody get on with it, hehe?

You have my sympathy as I have 3 young ones,ds 3.6,dd1 16mths and dd2 3mths. I tend not to switch on computer until basic jobs are done. So while DC eat breakfast I will mop kitchen and hall and hoover downstairs. Stuff like bathroom I do while they are in the bath[all 3 at once..lol] I agree about needing time out aswell but you can also ignore your los a little while you put some washing on etc. I do 2 loads of washing a day and 1 load of nappies every 2 days. When I get the girls to sleep I will put away clothes then come on computer for a bit.

take it slowly. do bits in small chunks. and only do stuff that matters. ie, keep the place clean but not totally tidy (dh can help with the tidying).

the fly thread helps me but it isnt everyone's cup of tea.

we have dd's almost the same age - mine is almost 4 1/2 months.

another tip is try not to dwell on how much humdrum stuff you've had to do as it will just depress you. and try and plan something fun for you and the kids every day, even if it sitting in the sun for 10 mins with a cuppa while they play...

Thanks!
We don't have a garden so 'outdoor' time always takes up a huge chuck of my day as I have to haul double pram/tots down two flights of stairs, then out and into the park. Thats something thats essential for us though. I think we'd all go stir crazy if we didn't get some greenery at least once a day!
DP helping with housework just doesn't happen. he will help with bathig /story time etc but the housework is all put on me.
The 'small chunks' idea is a really good one. I will try to just move things from room to room as I go and clean bits and pieces ad hoc. much less daunting than tinking ' now I've got to go clean for the next hour or such'

totally agree with doing in "small chunks" rather than in large doses as i just could not find a whole hour to do things in whereas 5/10 mins here and there make it easier i think. Would it be an idea to try and do the clearing up of kitchen and dishes after each meal for example? if i left dishes from dinner they would be there the next day so i try and "swish" the kitchen of the debris of meal making after each meal then its done. Same with washing, put a load on and as soon as done (or near enough) unload , tumble dryer/washing line, then as soon as dry folded into relevant piles to be put away? This sort of approach works for me but easier said to find the time even to do that i know! but a weeks worth of washing to sort used to reduce me to tears whereas now i know a quick 10 mins of sorting dry washing has it done with ....

I agree small chunks is best, also try not to take on too much, priotise with the most urgent 1st and if the windows or dusting haven't been done, well at least your dc have been fed & watered.

Don't feel guilty for taking time out for a cuppa either, you deserve it.

Hope things get easier for you.

sorry it's getting you down babyonboard. I have been in that situation and i can tell you that it will get harder when they are both up and running and then easier once they go off to pre-school or wherever for a couple of hours. I used to think of one thing to get done each day, on top of the routine stuff (looking at your list of what you achieved today, it would've been wash the car seats, another day it might be clean the windows) and if i did that, then great. If not, well no-one was going to suffer as a result. Looking after two little ones is a full-time job in itself, and if you are all well fed, relatively clean and tidy, and happy, you are doing a great job

I really really think your dp should be helping.

You are doing lots of domestic stuff in the day as well as bringing up two very young and demanding children. I think it's absolutely fair and right that what needs doing in the evening, is done TOGETHER.

For me and dh this is stuff like cooking, and clearing up together from the cooking, bringing any washing in and taking it upstairs, and tidying round if a room needs it before morning.

Going out of the house to work does not mean that your dp doesn't have to lift a finger!

Thanks for your advice.
DP helps a little. He tends to do the grocery shopping and 9/10 cooks dinner for us all but tbh I'd quite like to cook dinner myself. I enjoy it and it's a nice respite from the tots.
I'll try not to put too much pressure on myself to get things done. I know I keep on top of the important things, so never mind if the freezer needs defrosting/bathroom tiles need scrubbing etc.