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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

DH has too much stuff

6 replies

anna231a · 08/07/2017 14:24

My DH has so much stuff. We live in a small flat which is full of his CDs and lp records plus other misc stuff. It makes it difficult for me to clean - everything seems to be covered in dust. And he never throws anything away - piles of paper, leaflets, old menus. Drawers full of old tee shirts or, even worse, yet more CDs. Wardrobe full of lp records so nowhere to hang clothes which lie around in bedroom getting dusty.

I feel stupid but I feel so much like sitting and crying about the effort it takes even to think about keeping things clean and tidy. Take this morning for instance - I collected up books to go back to library and leave them in neat pile on table. DH picks up pile, takes first book and walks into bedroom telling me what a good book it is. Leaves book on bed. Still with pile walks into kitchen saying how he's going to get cheap copy of book 2 for us to keep. Leaves book 2 on kitchen counter which I'm trying to wipe down etc etc.

DH makes lunch - salad. We can't eat at table because it's covered with a record deck, an amp, a very large CD player, a box of assorted wires, a pile of records and some assorted leaflets. I go into kitchen: bits of lettuce and spring onion all over kitchen floor.

I'm so tired, my back hurts and now I am starting to cry. I'm not a minimalist, I don't want a palace, I want a clean home where I can eat at a table and hang my clothes in a wardrobe. Advice needed to hep me get it.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 08/07/2017 14:26

Tell him he needs to sort out all his crap or you'll get rid of it for him?

EnidNextDoor · 08/07/2017 14:33

Can you move out temporarily? Give you both some space and focus his mind a bit.

pileoflaundry · 08/07/2017 15:30

I'm a bit like your DH. Not the library books example, but I am perfectly capable of covering every available surface, drawer and shelf with stuff. Much of the things can and should go out.

My main problem is that I don't have the time and energy to sort it out. Plus it may come in handy one day, gah.

Things that have helped me / helped DH to stay sane:

  • a clear distinction between my space and DH's space. E.g. separate drawers, separate wardrobe, so that he has clear space for his things
  • agreement as to which surfaces or rooms should be kept clear and tidy, e.g. kitchen table
  • a room in the house, garden shed, or anything else with a door, which is my cram/untidy space. All stuff that I don't have the time to sort out goes in there, there door is closed and we don't have to think about it.
  • DH taking the DC out specifically so that I can declutter, with a clear aim, e.g. I have to fill a bin liner (otherwise I'd get distracted by general tidying, laundry, dishwasher, etc).

It was better before DC, as I'd have more time to clear the junk regularly. It's now somewhat worse Blush

Does your DH agree that he has too much stuff? Could you try to Kondo together?

user1495915742 · 08/07/2017 19:17

No advice.

My ex-boyfriend wasn't quite that bad but did leave a trail of destruction. It was like a murder scene which allowed me to re-tell the story. Would leave a trail of crap, cupboards open, packet of pills on side, orange juice and empty carton on side in kitchen, clothes on floor, bed unmade where he'd had a quick kip....

The moral of this story is we split. I would have killed him otherwise.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2017 04:14

Your husband is a hoarder. Do whatever you can to get this sorted or it will only get far worse.

GrubbyWindows · 14/07/2017 10:07

It strikes me than you talk about the mess making it hard for you to clean, so it sounds like he doesn't? So he is in charge of making mess and you are in charge of cleaning- which sounds unfair and unpleasant. What happens when you talk about it? Does he realise that he is basically making your quality of life worse? Which is not what beloved partners do to each other...

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