This chronic hoarder has seen the light!

[MessyBedMessyHead]

I have always been a hoarder. My parents are both hoarders so I have always grown up in cramped spaces, surrounded by STUFF and MESS. I have wanted to change for a long time but any attempts to declutter I found too hard as it would inevitably lead to painful decisions about what to throw (very little if I could help it) and trying to find a new home for the stuff I'd keep.

There are two roots to my hoarding problem; 1) I have an awful memory and so I am terrified of forgetting the important things like my DC's milestones, special occasions and things like that. My solution is to hold on to the things associated with events like holiday brochures, ticket stubs, travel tickets, etc etc. I have even saved balloons and party decorations from all my DC's birthdays. Essentially, I'm living in the past. 2) I don't like waste and convince myself that my crap will be worth something if I could just get round to selling it (but I never find the time as my life is consumed by tidying around my stuff).

And then along came a catalyst - I decided I want to get a family dog. I can only describe it as nesting but I've gone into overdrive wanting to sort my house out. I always hated bringing friends round to my house when I was younger as it was so messy and now my DC are experiencing the same. I've realised that I'm forcing my family to live in my giant memory box. This feels like such a shift in thinking for me.

In just a few days, I've thrown dozens of bags of stuff and rubbish and donated redundant furniture to the charity shop. I'm going through cupboards crammed with random things, often it's just been shoved in do I can't find anything anyway. I've even started decorating which would have been impossible before given how much stuff I have. I have invested a little money into smart storage solutions, just cheap things like shelf baskets and cupboard stands but it's already making a big difference. I'm now looking at every corner where I can create better storage.

The picture is of my kitchen at the moment having just cleared a ton of stuff from the top of the shelves. The counter top pretty much looks like that all the time. I might use this thread as my inspiration and document my progress in photos. I'm feeling really proud of myself and very positive that I might kick this bad habit for good. Just thought I'd share this for anyone in the same boat who wants to change.

Well done OP.

I am filling a bag with a few bits daily and will go to the charity shop on Saturday. Not so dramatic but slowly chipping away in anticipation of the Big Push!

Great thread! You are really inspiring!

That is amazing OP. Very inspiring

Need to have another go at my flat. Mainly outgrown toys, and finally getting rid of baby stuff.

Well done, OP. You have really turned a corner. Be proud!

Any more progress op?

Thanks everyone for the encouraging messages .

ferris, the short version is that XH was a serial cheat and as I later came to realise, abusive. He had many affairs, one time on and off with a 16 year old girl whilst I was pregnant with DD1 (he was mid 30s at the time). A little while after we got married, a woman called me to say she'd been sleeping with him for over a year. After 13 years of his crap, it was that moment that I realised he was never going to change and I just knew I needed to leave. Unfortunately I received negligent legal advice (only realised last year when I saw another solicitor) and I walked away from everything. He went to work one morning and I left with our clothes, the DC's toys, photographs etc. before he got home. I felt bad doing it at the time but there's no way he'd have let me go quietly. A year later and I met current DP who is the polar opposite to XH and makes me really happy. I'd also managed to fill the new house with crap to the rafters . I think that's why doing the house is so important to me. This was meant to be our home but in the three years I've lived here, I've only managed to do the DC's bedrooms and half done the living room and bathroom. Hopefully when it's finished, it will be a proper home for us.

FlyingSquid, I plan to have a trip to IKEA at some point for the finishing touches like plants. Is it sad that I keep looking in the cupboards and admiring my work? It does give me that zen feeling!

Zilphas, I know that feeling! There's a car boot happening just down the road from me on Saturday (they only happen very occasionally) so I've booked a space to force myself to go through some stuff to sell. Anything that doesn't is going to the charity shop. Something I do struggle with is knowing what to do with old clothes that aren't good enough to sell or donate. I could just leave them for the council to take but I wanted to recycle them ideally. Anyone have any ideas?

Justified, keep going! Sometimes if I tidy just a corner or a cupboard, it gives me the motivation to do more.

vanrecovered, I've been busy painting and installing some new 'furniture' like a laundry sorting system from IKEA which should hopefully stop the table being used as the laundry. I also have a handyman here finishing the bathroom and putting shelves etc. up. Photos to follow later.

Messy you are no longer messy!!

Our local supermarket had a recycle bin section with one for old clothes and shoes. I believe they are recycled into other fabric things like cushion fillings etc.

Oh I love a before and after pic

Well done Messy you're doing so well

If you bag up the clothes and label them as 'rags' my local charity shop will take them and recycle them with the other clothes they can't sell. You've just saved them the job of sorting them out. Or take them to a clothes by the kilo place and make a few quid.

And well done OP.

Hi Messy
Good work - congratulations!!

Sorting the kitchen out was my first steps in stopping hoarding and getting rid of lots and lots of stuff. I started a thread about it way back then too: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/1722359-Ive-just-had-the-kitchen-professionally-decluttered-cleaned?msgid=38643894

It was life changing - I feel like a different person today.

Many congrats - keep getting rid of stuff. Lots of inspiring threads on MN too - I don't know if you have read Marie Kondo but that may be inspiring for you if not.

I visited my DM recently - she is living in a dreadful state now, hoarding "stuff" has developed into hoarding actual rubbish and its very sad. I'm so pleased I've made a massive change in my life - you and your family will be too.

and I miss NOTHING!! Not one thing that I hoarded for so long - I couldn't even tell you about anything I regret giving up, apart from the hoarding and clutter of course.

I still have "tendencies" and try to live by a one in one out policy. I still need to have conversations with myself about putting jars into the recycling instead of keeping them, and I still get "piles of crap" but they are dealt with quickly.

Life is very different. Keep going. take BEFORE photos!

oh I see you are well beyond the before photos now.
You must be feeling AMAZING! I remember the buzz.

Once everything has a proper home, then it is super easy to tidy up - everything goes back to its home. Seems fundamentally very simple doesn't it

Our local hospice recycles clothes, blankets curtains etc

Perhaps look online or do some ringing around

Great job OP

Well done OP, brilliant transformation ,really inspiring

With DCs' pictures - how about photographing them? You could then put them into an album to give to them when they are older. Snapfish and others have options to turn photographs into a book and they would love this - especially if you didn't tell them but just photographed things and put them into an online folder. You can then bin the original, if you want to.

Well done! I have the opposite problem. I throw stuff out and then realise I shouldn't have. I now put things in bags in a cupboard and wait a few months before chucking out (clothes) and rescue some if I suddenly realise I miss them.

Not had to chance to update as been so busy sorting things. It's a little addictive now I've got going!

Unfortunately the handyman couldn't get everything done as there were some problems with the bathroom and then he couldn't get a light bracket off in the living room but at least we have a functional shower which is amazing after 18 months of having to sit in the bath to take a shower.

The highlight however, was having a new light put up in the living room. There are several things that annoy me about this house but none so much as the light in the living room which could surely qualify for one of the worst designed lights ever. It had a fan so was huge but was controlled by a remote which was always getting lost. It wouldn't just work with the remote either. It had to be switched on at the wall switch as well making the remote redundant except that you HAD to use that too So bloody pointless. And to top it all off, it gave out as much light as a single candle. Anyway, it has gone and been replaced by a 5 bulb fitting and its great to have a properly lit living room. We may have all had a moment of celebration at that

BeMorePanda, I read your thread and can totally relate, especially the wanting to leave work to tidy

Thanks for the suggestions about the clothes. I've been sorting clothes for the car boot and keeping a separate bag for rags. Nowhere is looking completely sorted so will have to update with photos later but I have a before and after of the top of the girls' wardrobes. I previously just threw stuff up there but it's now neatly sorted into age and season for dd2.

Wow you're doing great you must feel so good! I love having regular clear outs it feels so satisfying

I really do bluuue I'm feeling such a sense of achievement as this has honestly been so hard for me in the past. I'm finding this thread really motivating too and lots of posters offering really helpful advice and encouragement.

Here's a picture of the clothes I've put aside for the car boot tomorrow. The worst thing is, that's not even all our clothes. This is just my girls stuff that is too small for the youngest and a few bits I didn't like much so not passing them on. Some of it is 4-5 years old It's been quite hard realising how much money I have wasted on clothes over the years. And of course reliving the memories of some items. I had to throw my DD's christening dress as it had a rip in the skirt. I wanted to keep it but I forced myself to enjoy the memory then let it go.

This is my first car boot ever having been promising myself I'd do one for years. What is reasonable to charge? Say for:

• toys in good condition
• next tops, trousers, jeans etc
• supermarket stuff that is nice
• basics

I have no idea what to really expect although I've heard car boots tend to be quite low in price and nothing like the prices you'd get on eBay etc. Any advice on charging structure would be much appreciated .

Car boot didn't go very well. It was a one off community charity one and was very quiet. I made about £15 after the entrance fee and a couple of quid to keep the DC occupied. I only sold a few bits and came back with most of the stuff I took. It was at least a gentle introduction to carboot sales though and everything is staying packed in the car and I will do another bigger one next week. I may also take out the best stuff and sell bundles on eBay/shpock as there was just so much stuff, it was difficult to display properly.

Messy You should be so proud of yourself! As the daughter of a hoarder, I feel proud of you and i dont even know you!

Don't feel too disheartened about the boot sale but I have to ask... do you really need any amount of cash you'll make from your cast-offs? If some of the stuff is 4-5 years old you've come this far without the cash for it, wouldn't it just feel so good to be rid of it now? Someone, somewhere, in a charity shop will be happy to have it. Peace of mind for you too!

My Mum has a 'breakthrough' every now and then with her hoard and then I go and visit and it's exactly the same. It's heartbreaking and has been tough for me and my siblings as we try to help but aren't allowed. Yet we can see how much it affects her mentally and social. So I'm very pleased to hear your success story, even though you are a stranger, as I said earlier!

Keep going, not so messy!

P.s. when I have a clear out I too find myself opening a cupboard just to look at how neat it is inside. It really is very satisfying!

Those wardrobe pictures are so satisfying! Well done Messy! (Although it feels wrong calling you that now.)

Well done OP - I've loved reading this thread - it's so satisfying and inspiring seeing the before and after pictures.

I have a friend who is a hoarder and I would love for her to see the light for the sake of her and her DC. She would need several skips to clear her house but she couldn't fathom throwing anything out so I came see it happening anytime soon.

I don't hoard but I still need to do a clear-out once or twice a year as things just creep back in and cupboards start getting cramped again so keep an eye on that. Good luck with the rest and keep us updated.

Brilliant thread! So inspiring - well done.

Came on to look for some inspiration ad I'm doing a major clear out, first since moving out of marital home. I'm a veteran clear-er out-er but threads like this are so good to read!

Hi op- well done to you! Hope you don't mind but I'm going to copy you and do a before and after de-clutter, I actually have OCD believe it or not but have fibromyalgia which makes me exhausted and i have chronic widespread pain

My house has taken the hit over the last year, today is the first day of the purge.

I recommend "clutter bug " on YouTube, she's Canadian and hugely inspiring as well as being a self confessed hater of housework so this has given me the kick up the arse to start.

I love cleaning but it's so difficult to clean a mess...

Loving this thread!!

Trying to declutter at the moment as we're hoping to put the house on the market. Like you I'm a sentimental person and hang on to everything , the most annoying thing about our house is the storage. We have decent storage ( big cupboards in every bedroom, large garage etc) but they're all full of old stuff that we don't use or need anymore! So all the stuff we do use is just lying about in the house. Very frustrating!!

So I started at the weekend. I've made a list ( love a list!) of what I would like to do in each room, and I'm currently up to 10 bin bags of rubbish . I've bought 2 big storage boxes for the sentimental bits from my 2 boys and two of those art student folder things for their art work!

Feeling really motivated at the moment, hope it continues!!