I am SO Messy, and I hate it.

[CaulkheadupNorthStill]

I live in a houseshare, so try very hard to keep communal areas tidy. I do a fair share of the cleaning, and have no difficulty with that.

It's just the tidying. Please tell me how to do it.
In a previous job I used to tidy stuff away, and it was fine, then someone else would come and do...something...and it would be all lovely and tidy. I just don't know what the thing is.

Current house has a lot of storage so that isn't a problem. It's just me! Please tell me what to do!

I think it's just looking with a more critical eye.

Some people will clear the table by putting all the plates and cutlery over by the sink. They might even wash up! But others will also put the salt and pepper away and wipe off the crumbs.

Some people will tidy the bedroom by picking up their dirty clothes and putting them in the wash and then making the bed. Others will also put away any clean clothes and take downstairs any drinking glasses, books etc.

Its just about looking to see if anything it where is shouldn't be. If you just keep picking things up until there is literally nothing left to put away it will be tidy, rather than seeing the obvious things that need doing but missing the extras, probably all the harder when not everything belongs to you in the shared space.

It sometimes helps to take a photo, I always notice things out of place when I take a photo for some reason!

When it's other people doing it, I think they do the whole job- I put things in the right places but they also make sure that those right places are tidy etc.

Most stuff has a place, but I don't always put things there immediately, and then things build up. Maybe I need a routine?

If someone else is there then I'm tidier, but if it's just me I'm more lazy...

My dd (12) is a messy person and I think it's just the way she does things.

So if she opens a new bottle of milk, she will put the little silver circle on the bench. Thus creating two jobs. Putting it in the bin and wiping the milk drip off the bench. Whereas I would put it in the bin whilst it was in my hand after peeling it off.

That makes sense. I definitely do that sort of thing.

I think there are two main ways of tidying:

First: tidy as you go. So, make a piece of toast. Put the butter back in the fridge, wash up the knife, wipe up the crumbs etc.

Second: big tidy up. For example, I start at one end of the kitchen, and make sure EVERYTHING is away, then wipe, then sweep the floor.

Step back and scan the room for anything that is in the wrong place.

So, today I took clothes down from drying and piled them onto my bed. I've now just put them on the floor so I could get into bed. When would someone else have put them away?

I am basically a teenager I think.

I try to go room to room. I start with the worst one and gather all the clutter in one corner. Next take bits away, bit by bit and put it in the right room.

So this morning for example.. sitting rooms a tip, half of daughters bedroom teddies, clothes, sweets etc. Lying around take them away, put them back in bedroom. Then breakfast dishes to the kitchen then my stuff, hairbrushes, bobbles, bags,work stuff back to my bedroom.

Then slowly the clutter has gone. Next I start cleaning surfaces, Table, tv stand. Put cushions back etc. Then hoover, then mop. Shut the door then on to next room, gathering putting things back then repeat.

Sounds a nightmare but works for me.

Everyday? Or just days when it's especially messy?

(Totally aware at just how idiotic I am sounding)

CaulkheadupNorthStill your'e not the only one, I'm watching with interest!

I also have no clue what I'm meant to do, or how to get into good habits so the house isn't messy all the fucking time.

Are you a procrastinator by any chance?

Not a massive procrastinator, but definitely have a short attention span and get easily distracted.

Declutter extremely using Marie kondo method/book.

Then ensure everything has a home and tidy up AS you make the mess.

I learnt you have to keep standing by the bed and not let yourself leave until the clotes are put away.

I hate it. It's the most aggravating thing. But the alternative is worse - clothes on the floor and feeling like a grotty teenager - so I give myself a stern talking to and stay there.

Does it get easier?

If I don't do it everyday it goes downhill fast. I do the bare minimum if I'm at work and I know no one's coming to visit I don't care let it get as messy as it can. But it starts to bother me and on my days off or I have visitors I gut the house. So it's 50/50 most of the time I can't be bothered, the rest is what will people think if they see how I really live.

I'm better than I used to be, I have the mantra that if I don't do it no one else will and if I'm about to walk away from a buttered knife, I imagine MIL might visit unexpectedly.

However, I will never be really tidy. I just don't care enough. Downstairs and bathrooms are mostly always clean and tidy by keeping on top of things. Bedrooms are clean but messy. I try to care but really don't.

I do everything as I go, clean and tidy as I cook etc. I don't leave something for later if it can be done now but perhaps I'm a bit too much on the tidy side and don't let myself relax until the whole house is in order.

Every morning I'm on the go making the beds, tidying up DSs room then taking him and making him breakfast, then a proper kitchen clean etc. takes at least 2 hours but once it's done I relax and have breakfast!

I definitely don't care about it, although the messiness does bother me as I'm embarrassed and it takes much longer to find something.

In the communal areas of the house I think I'm clean so kind of tidy whilst cleaning IYSWIM but only because I don't want someone else to be annoyed about it

takes at least 2 hours but once it's done I relax and have breakfast!

I would need to wake at 5.30am to do this.

caulk I am totally with you on this. When I think back to when I was a child I have memories of my parents room always being neat and tidy...bed made, no clothes lying around. My poor children will have memories of a haphazardly made bed, bundles of clothes lying in a state of organised chaos all over the room and messy bedside tables. I so wish I could be better. I find it so hard just staying on top of the downstairs that the upstairs where no one really goes but us doesn't get a look in. And we don't even have a big house.

Stick to one area - and time yourself

So collect washing - put washing away - 10 mins max

Wash up - dry - put away - 15 mins if just yours

Vacuum 5 mins

Start timing

Or I do this - boil the kettle and race to put the dishwasher away

Or decide to have a cuppa after I vacuumed -

Offer yourself a treat - put washing away read magazine

Iron work clothes - have a biscuit

Are you me? I'm such a scatterbrain.

Try to think about each job and what it entails from start to finish and make sure you do the whole thing when possible. So putting washing away involves:
Taking clothes out of dryer
Taking clothes to bedroom
Sorting and folding clothes
Putting clothes away

This can be four jobs! But it is quicker if you make it one job. It is a new habit though and you have to force yourself. Try to think about jobs in this way, and you will start to see where you could do additional steps in quick succession to save time later, and make things tidier.

Other tips are to get rid of loads of your belongings, particularly cluttery things. Also, never go from one room to another, or between floors, without carrying something that needs returning to its right place.

Following - this is my life!!! I'm desperate for a neat and orderly home but I just can't seem to do it?!