Coordinating Diaries Meltdown

[CrayCrayBusy]

Hi everyone, hoping to benefit from the deep deep well of mumsnet wisdom here...

We are two flexibly working parents (both full time equivalent hours) with one child in nursery and one in reception and we just can't seem to get on top of keeping each other up to date with our work and who is picking up the kids etc.

Sharing online calendars (e.g. google etc.) doesn't seem to cut it as we just get overloaded with information that doesn't really tell us the critical stuff. And its easy to change things in the calendar without understanding the implications - so we're basically checking over and over again that our family arrangements work. But then we still forget to turn up for parents evening things are still falling through the gaps.

It shouldn't be this hard surely! What are your systems for being on top of who is doing what particularly when it changes day on day and week on week? Digital or otherwise.

Thanks in advance!

Get one of those family calendars with a column for each person and keep it updated and somewhere you both see it every day. Consult it before putting anything in your own diary. Also try colour coding in electronic diaries - makes life simpler.

We are using Google calendar with different colours for each person; yet still I have to remind DH every day if he needs to collect a child. Sigh.

We both work, and both use Google calendars, and it's fine. But I think the things that make the difference are we have a weekly 'diary alignment chat' - like we would at work. We just chart through who is doing what, when.

But the big thing is we both take equal responsibility for the schedule , and for the DCs. So I'd not have to remind my partner. mojo I'm guessing he still sees it as your job, really.

CrayCray specifically what are you having trouble with -using the calendars, checking them, setting them up? Are you blocking out enough time, so a 3 o'clock pickup doesn't get entered in at 3, you need the whole journey time etc etc

Thanks for the replies and suggestions.

zebra I think the thing we struggle with most is that we both need to change our arrangements on the fly quite often and find that the shared calendars are quite quickly overloaded with information (by the time you have four people's worth of whereabouts, plus grandparents who share the childcare) so we make mistakes.

OH has most of the child-ferrying responsibilities so we have our basic framework, but also he travels quite a lot for work and I work full time but have complete flexibility over my hours. So we end up with quite a lot of email traffic / whatsapping trying to check changes with each other. And then of course you might agree something but one or other gets distracted and not put it in the calendar or copy it into your work calendar (user error, must do better)

I like your tip re. travel time. Can google calendars do that automatically? The google calendars do seem popular - has the shared google system ever not worked for you?

We use something called Cozi.com. It's an online system and we can all (DCs included) access it via tablet, phone or laptop. I also print off the weekly schedule and pin it up so that there are no excuses for appointments missed. There are loads of other features in there too - I've got the DCs adding to their Christmas/birthday wish lists on there. Makes life easier!

It's free, but if you upgrade to the premium version you can get it to send alerts when you change or add things to the diary. I think it was around £19 for the year.

I've also got a family organiser calendar thingy in the kitchen and every week or so I make sure the two match.