Not sure if this is house keeping or parenting

[Goingtobeawesome]

My loft is full of every picture my children have ever drawn, every card they've ever received, every book they've read but grown out of, special toys, current games and toys they have no room for, school work, hundreds of photos plus DH and my stuff.

I've kept everything as I have barely a thing from my childhood and that's symbolic of the bad one I had.

But. It is ridiculous. I spent days in the loft sorting and tidying but over the years others haven't been so careful and there's barely space to move.

If I asked the children one would say keep some stuff, one would say keep nothing and one would say keep everything. DH regrets chucking out stuff from his childhood and clearly I'm not normal and can't be trusted to make the right decision. The kids are 11-15 so don't have the sentiment a parent would have but we can't keep everything and I can't chuck everything.

What would you do and would your child agree or, did your parents make the decision and you now agree or wish they'd taken the opposite choice?

As usual, there is always someone that has to push.

I explained why I have kept everything but my house is tidy. My loft is full that's all.

You know I upset OTWT, yet you still flounce off having made another dig. Thanks.

Onlytimewilltell OP didn't say you had a happy childhood or that having a mother means you did. She just said that you had a mother and she didn't.
And then going to to declare that she has a problem is supremely unkind. She has on overly full loft because she's stored lots of her DC's stuff and is now asking for practical advice about how to winnow it down.

Gtbawesome I admire the fact that you know what's in your loft. I've only been in this house for 4 years and mine is stuffed full with who knows what. Like a lot of people I do that to keep the lived in parts of my house organised and tidy. So if you've got a problem then I have the same one.

I'm really glad my post was helpful to a few people. I'm part way through this process and am trying to rationalise what I keep and why and where and especially trying to be aware of how this will affect the children. Eg sorting out my underwear drawer this morning, I repurposed a box to keep some vest tops in. It looked a bit plain, so I asked ds if i could use a colouring he'd done at school (part of a house diorama, that got a bit squashed coming home in the car) to cover it. He was happy for me to, so now I can see and appreciate his art, and the rest of the model can go in the recycling. Win, win.

I've also just bought a couple of frames to frame some of his artwork and one to put photos in, as I'm very good at taking photos of the kids special moments, but less good (well crap really!) at displaying them!

It can be a hard process though to decide what to keep. I think the question of whether the rest of the house is cluttered is a valid one, mine certainly is (I'm trying to declutter the rest of the house too)! So please don't be offended that the question was asked.

I think many of our houses are a reflection of our childhoods. Awesome, you are clearly aware of how you are trying to counter your own lack of memories, which is of course completely justified. But of course it can never recompense for your own lack (if only it could). I think we (I) run the risk of over compensation though. I know I've done this, as I was bought 'basics', but not 'treats' or 'presents' as a child (I'm full aware this is such a first world problem compared with many other people's awful childhoods!) but am realising I've compensated by buying my kids so much stuff that they're drowning in toys and actually they are more content with less stuff. I'm now trying to declutter and rectify this... So it's all about a balance really I guess.

Sorry, I know this wasn't what you asked, but trying to explain/counter the way the thread has moved on.

The 'thanking things' is the premise of Marie Kondo's excellent books. She says to declutter by categories and to start with everyday things like clothes and work your way up to sentimental. That way you practice keeping only what you love before you get to the really tricky stuff. If there really are no other issues in your house Awesome (genuinely not doubting you at all) then you're going to have to start with sentimental, which is the hardest part. But then again if your house is organised and uncluttered already then you are already very good at decluttering, so you're further ahead than you think. It'll just be putting those skills into practice with the children's stuff. :)

Oh Marie Kondo also touches on how presents and how being given other people's stuff can be a burden. Sorry, I feel like I'm droning on, so will stop there, but its well worth a read. :)

What I would do is to get a box, trunk or other suitably sized container. Then I would keep anything you/your dc want inside the box. Any more than the container's contents would indicate that you have too much.
Re the stuff about first clothe and shoes, I prefer keeping pic of child in those items, rather than the degrading over time inanimate objects themselves.

I know I have issues. For example My kids rarely feel starving as I'm always planning ahead for meals due to not being fed as a child, but this thread was about stuff many people go through - what to keep, I just shared a little to explain why I find it hard, I didn't expect unkind comments.

And for the record, my house is being tided more so now as I've had all the kids off for months on my own but it isn't cluttered.

As I said, please don't feel judged/criticised, that wasn't my (or I'd hope anyone else's) intention. Obviously this is an uncomfortable subject for you, but I hope you can take the good bits that'll work for you and ignore anything unhelpful or that you feel is critical. Hopefully we all look at what we had ourselves and try and improve on it - I'm just saying from my experience I've gone too far the other way in some areas. You sound like a very loving and caring mum and I'm sure your kids are having a happy and loved childhood, irrespective of what the attic looks like.

Leeloo I haven't felt judged or criticised by you at all. I think you've had some brilliant ideas and I hope others can use them too. Thank you.